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Gently Step Into Your Power

Step into your power

Do you ever feel you have given away your power?

Or was your power taken from you many years ago and you’ve never known how to properly claim it with grace?

Do you feel that the past can come along and trigger you and you feel you’re right back there in old patterns with the same old disempowering stories?

It happens to all of us, why do you think I’m sharing this blog?!!

Some “stuff” has been happening to me recently which inspired me to share this.

By the time you’ve finished reading this, I want you to feel empowered to put a voice to the trauma and the pain.

And to also embrace your shadow.

AND to feel that you are safe to gently step into your power whatever that means to you.

Let's start by defining what I mean by gently stepping into your power

It’s not about shouting from the rooftops or demanding attention.

It’s about a quiet inner strength, a knowing that allows you to make decisions with confidence, set boundaries, and pursue your goals with grace and determination.

But that ain’t always that easy is it?

It could the people closest to us who know how to push our buttons, just trigger us in some way.

Or it might be a long distant memory that comes roaring back into our lives, and it feels like we are being de-railed.

However, we can begin again and know that we are actually far further along our path than our minds can lead us to believe.

Let’s connect with the heart and open the heart to move through any feelings of hopelessness, isolation or disconnection.

Because you are not alone. I am here, with you and for you.

So, if something I share in this blog resonates, drop me an email as this is all part of the healing and digging down a little deeper than maybe you have ever done before.

If you’re reading this, right now, I believe your higher self, led you here.

Recently, I found myself right in the middle of a trauma response that left me falling into a black, bottomless well and this still isn’t easy to admit.

None of my tools were getting me out – my inner critic was working round the clock.

I was judging myself for being in that place, despite all that I know and all of the work I’ve already done and god dammit, I share in my coaching.

I felt like I was in a purgatory of not yet becoming my true self and I felt like a fraud.

I found myself standing still.

Not being able to do anything because I was so overwhelmed by the feelings of rejection, abandonment, and isolation.

Of course, I understand this all goes back to my childhood, but these feelings can still, albeit very rarely, rear their ugly heads and send me into a downward spiral of regret, shame, and guilt.

I decided to feel all the feelings after I did a bit of hiding and numbing and freezing!!

The biggest thing that came from it was I wanted to turn up here and share some of the pain because I know these trauma responses are not only experienced by me.

I know I’m not alone feeling lost in my trauma response even if I do feel alone and confused. Or am I?

I am gently reminding myself that it’s okay to trip over the rocks on my path from time to time.

I’m also reminding myself that it’s safe for me to stop rejecting the inner parts of myself that I dislike or even despise.

I want to accept my shadow self.

It’s not easy but that’s what loving myself completely is all about, isn’t it?

So, by meditating, reflecting, and listening to courses on Inside Timer, I realised this is all part of my healing.

I’m being called to get to that deep, deep old story.

And my soul is asking me to take a moment to process – to sit with it.

I am acknowledging these sensations and trying not to judge them and that is AS important as all the active work.

Recovering parts of myself is helping to bring me more clarity but it took me a while to know what to do next.

That’s why I’m here – I wanted to turn up with all of this rawness and vulnerability.

What is your story?

What is your trauma response?

Do you live your life thinking that you have to be strong and just get on with life?

It doesn’t really work, does it?

Through the years we can be repeating the patterns from our origin story, our childhood.

Does any of what I’m about to share resonate with you? If so, declare it because you’re owning that shadow.

Never feeling enough
Having no compassion for yourself
Beating yourself up with self-talk that doesnothing but disempower you (and that might be despite all the success you have achieved in your life)
Being engulfed by fear every single day
Feeling anxious
People pleasing
Never really feeling true happiness

Is it time to meet your shadows?

To feel the sadness, the fear, the anger, the shame, the regret, the guilt, the resentment…

Time to accept and feel all of those emotions?

Have true self-compassion?

Let go of judging yourself.

Actually, feeling pride for yourself and seeing who you really are?

It can be a painful process and yet a wonderful one.

Feeling truly connected and peaceful.

Being grateful and looking forward to being present in your life whether there is tragedy or happiness

Because you are never alone, even when you feel you are.

There is help if you are willing to trust and know that you are always worthy

What you have been burying so deeply and so successfully for so long is waiting to erupt.

You are uncovering those old stories that are deeply buried in your consciousness, in your body, that you might not even be really aware of.

As they are revealed, you will understand the roadblocks that are in your way.

We can't release what we don't know we're holding

Whether you have gone through a traumatic experience many, many years ago or quite recently you can come out the other side stronger understanding how you can stand in your own power.
You have the wisdom and the understanding within you.

It’s just about trusting yourself and listening to your heart, to your soul and to your higher self.

I definitely had the dark night of the soul recently and I haven’t been there in such a long time, and it was bad.

I felt I was coming undone but by sharing this with you, I am trusting that this is all part of my journey.

First of all though, we need to be patient and sit and meditate in our safe space.

That might be under your blankets and soft pillows and that’s okay. Wait and ask and meditate.

I came across this quote the other day and it really spoke to me:

“Don’t just do something, stand there.”

Originally said by the White Rabbit in Alice in Wonderland.

There is no rush to work it all out at once – trust the process.

Then when you’re ready, ask yourself :

Is the next cycle of my life ready to begin?

Are you ready to step gently into your power?

Learn to trust again and I know that’s not easy to do if you’ve left toxic situations or relationships. Healing those old wounds takes time, sometimes a long time, I know!

Listening to the shadow gives us great insights to our stories and our patterns.

For instance:

“I am worthless if I am abandoned”

means you hold onto the fear of abandonment to avoid your lack of self esteem.

Fill in the need for worthiness by discovering the root cause embedded in your childhood.

Allow this blog to feel like a warm, comfy blanket wrapping you up so that you feel safe and cared for and cherished.

What is choosing you right now?

Don’t force yourself to make a choice about what you want the rest of your life to be.

Just get curious about the little things that are entering your field of interest right now, even if they’re not screaming out loud:

“This is the thing – choose THIS thing now”

Sometimes this in between moment is about grieving for what you’ve lost. It’s about being curious without feeling the drag of indecision or shoulding all over yourself.

Be proud of yourself. Be proud of your strength even if you feel lost and lonely, be proud of yourself.

You can change your story one step at a time

So many of us have had experiences and situations that we had to navigate during our childhood with parents who may not have been able to express or understand emotions.

After years of maybe even hating yourself, you can discover that you are your rock and you always have been throughout your entire journey.

Keep going in healing and learning to love yourself first.

Going through deep, deep pain, a pain so unbelievably deep that you didn’t know you would survive, well, it can feel that we have touched the bottom.

But you did survive.

The pain might still be there but trust that it can transform into something so beautiful.

Learning to respect yourself and to just love yourself so that you can let go all these old patterns.

But to also love yourself and be compassionate with yourself when they might reappear from time to time because they sure can!!!

Your love for yourself is growing - trust me on that!

Filling your whole self with that love and expanding and connecting to everything, to moments of pure beauty, to moments of pure grace will become more and more frequent and will last longer and longer.

BUT it is okay if the deep pain rises back up to the surface now and again.

That shadow, does it ever completely go?

I don’t think it does, but life does become easier and more joyful the more we can love ourselves.

Have you shut yourself down throughout your life to keep the peace and you might still do it?

From your childhood and now as an adult?

If so, this is the time to break through this deep-seated pattern.

This is your time to honour your own intrinsic wisdom and guidance.

It is time to speak your truth when you feel it within you.

Asking for what you need and not shrinking back even if your request is met with resistance.

When you do this, you honour yourself.

It’s time to rescue that little girl who had no voice or ability to be herself.

It can take such a long time to allow the deepest truth to surface.

My old default position was to fall into depression and feel hopeless. That feeling came back to me recently and it was hard!

Early conditioning means we can learn very early on and have a very deep subconscious belief that we cannot be our whole self. That by showing up as your true self is just too much for others.

If you felt that way as a child, you might have learned to hide your true self away by all sorts of survival strategies.

Maybe you felt you could only show up as perfect or how others need you.

Somehow being your true self was and is overwhelming for others. Or you won’t get what you really want in life because you feel unworthy.

Do you have abandonment issues?

Dealing with abandonment issues takes time.

Lots of situations can trigger feelings of abandonment or rejection.

For example, when a partner just wants some time alone or maybe a short break with friends.

Fights can start and you didn’t mean to fight about it.

It’s hard to break old fear patterns but it is possible.

Do you feel that you have to live your life so carefully, so you never upset anyone?

And then do you feel you’ve lost your authenticity, your power, your true self?

If you have difficulty in grieving or maybe crying as part of your grief, can you give yourself permission to really let go?

Feel it and sit with it and tell yourself that you love yourself for feeling all of these raw emotions.

You can step into your power with grace by embracing all of your selves - give it your best shot

The light and darkness within you.

Maybe something small has shifted within you. Maybe you’re able to close your eyes and just be.

Allow the tears to roll down your face and find that connection within you if you need to.

Opening up your heart to these deep, trapped emotions and grief that you have been carrying sets you free.

Have your own back and follow through with loving yourself.

This is how you can step out of victimhood and into your own authentic self and your own power.

When you notice yourself shying away from loving yourself, allow yourself to spend time with both your inner little self and your higher self.

Walk through the world together

Why not have morning and evening check-ins?

In the morning with your higher self and tucking your inner child into bed at night. How does that sound?

I often find that what’s holding me back is me.

This part of me that thinks I’m not worthy and believes others over myself. This part of me that stops myself from taking action out of fear.

But nowadays, I repeat my affirmations and then take action with the fear and just let it be okay.

Are you ready to let go of the person that you felt your family has wanted you to be?

Are you ready to let go of their expectations of you?

Ready to let go of their perceptions and opinions of you?

Are these opinions even true of you?

Have you noticed that your story that you’ve been telling yourself is:

“My voice doesn’t matter, and no one cares”

The truth is your voice does matter and you care. Your inner being cares for you.

You can work on rewriting these stories and any others that come up throughout your life’s journey.

Allow your deep spiritual wisdom to resonate with your own soul.

So many of my shadows have been uprooted with some people in my life recently and that has been overwhelming to say the least.

Looking at all those buried parts with that victim mentality being a big one is bloody hard!

Figuring out how to acknowledge all these shadows, some of which I didn’t even know were there.

At times, it felt it was all too late.

But I’m trying to just take the wisdom I’ve gained and integrate it to my personal growth, at the very least, and carry that forward.

Accepting accountability and stepping out of the cycles I’ve perpetuated.

When we have or had parents or care givers that weren’t there for us emotionally, it’s difficult to charter a course in life, isn’t it?

We see these patterns repeat themselves in our lives then it takes time to understand what’s going on.

It could be that you married the same kind of person and just kept excusing their behaviour for:

“What could I have done differently, so he wouldn’t behave that way?”

And it can also be so strange to have made so many changes on this self-love journey and others seem to have remained exactly where they were.

Here’s a little reminder – who you are is important and how you feel is important. Just hold on to that.

After you’ve finished reading this today, I’m going to suggest dancing with your shadow.

Now this could be to a favourite track that means a lot to you or if you’ve come across 5 Rhythm Dancing.

This is all about transformation and healing that might be for you and although I don’t know much about it, I will be investigating it further.

Slow down and Dance

Slowing down might be difficult for you but it’s necessary!

We can learn to slow down and listen to our inner wisdom and listen for guidance so that we can act and not just react.

We are responsible for our own self-care because if we don’t care for ourselves this is just another trauma response which puts us back into victimhood.

Say out loud if you can:

It’s time to learn

It’s time to transform

It’s time to heal

It’s time slow down

It’s time to laugh, shout and cry

It’s time to dance with my shadow… instead of running away from my shadow again and again… or recreating or attracting drama

Time to feel my emotions

Time to tell my story

To tell my truth

It’s time to rest

Nothing to do, just breathe.

Discover your own path that resonates with your innermost self and pursue it wholeheartedly.

Recover the missing pieces of yourself.

Trust the journey – the destination reveals itself in time, when you are ready to see it.

Make your richest relationship the one you have with yourself

Life can feel overwhelming at times and it’s easy to forget that relationship with ourselves.

We juggle responsibilities, navigate relationships, and wrestle with self-doubt.

It’s easy to feel powerless, like we’re being swept along by currents beyond our control.

But we all have the power within us to shift gears, take the wheel, and chart our own course with grace and gentleness.

This can be as simple as starting each day with a gentle check in with yourself.

“How am I feeling today? What do I need?”

It can look like setting boundaries, practising self-care and being kind to yourself in your thoughts and in your actions.

It’s the small things practised daily that create a full picture of self-love.

I shared this amazing piece from Brené Brown on my:

Open Your Heart 10 Day Challenge

on Insight Timer and I thought it was perfect to share here.

MANIFESTO OF THE BRAVE AND BROKENHEARTED

“There is no greater threat to the critics and cynics and fearmongers

than those of us who are willing to fall

Because we have learned how to rise

With skinned knees and bruised hearts.

We choose owning our stories of struggle,

Over hiding, over hustling, over pretending.

When we deny our stories, they define us.

When we run from struggle, we are never free.

So we turn toward truth and look it in the eye.

We will not be characters in our stories.

Not villains, not victims, not even heroes.

We are the authors of our lives.

We write our own daring endings.

We craft love from heartbreak,

Compassion from shame,

Grace from disappointment,

Courage from failure.

Showing up is our power.

Story is our way home.

Truth is our song.

We are the brave and broken-hearted.

We are rising strong.”

– Brené Brown

Such a beautiful piece…

Gently stepping into your power and owning your voice doesn’t happen on that one occasion, it’s a continuous journey.

There will be bumps along the road, sometimes bloody big ones!

But by staying committed to your growth and your authentic self, you can truly shine your light on the world.

Remember, you are worthy, you are capable, and you have the power to create a life you deserve.

Much love.

Are you interested in working with me? Check out my work with me page for more info, or contact me.

Also, follow me on Insight Timer for free meditations and notifications of my free live events.

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Do You Want An Abundant Year?

Blog / Admin

Of course, we all want an abundant year, don’t we but….

The new year can be a slow start, especially here in the northern hemisphere. It’s bloody cold, and with those dark mornings, how can we really rev those engines to get going in 2024?

Maybe you’re feeling tired and lazy from too much food or a lot of family time, and it’s okay to do nothing for a few days.

It’s really important to take enough time to relax and replenish, and not work until you’re close to burnout. But that’s easier said than done, at different times in our lives. Whether it’s due to work commitments, looking after our children or maybe ageing parents who we need to care for more and more.

We really don’t need the New Year hype to create a happy and abundant year. I mean, most of us don’t get in the groove until the second week of January anyway.

So, when’s the best time to set your intentions for 2024?

When you do it! That’s when.

Please don’t worry if you feel like you’re having a slow start to the year, there’s plenty of time. There is no need to rush.

I’m not a fan of New Year resolutions or making hard and fast goals but you may well know that already!

Setting Intentions for An Abundant Year

But the New Year is such a perfect time for us to see what is to be released, what is to be kept and improved, and what is to be brought in. And you can take the whole of January to do that. There are another 11 months after this one even though, we will all be saying “Happy Christmas” before we know it!

So if you’re ready to look at what you have learnt and are moving on from last year and setting your intentions for an abundant year ahead, then I have a few ideas to share.

The best way to welcome in a new year is to be thankful and accept where we are before bringing ourselves into the energetic flow for a fantastic and abundant 2024. It’s natural to look at things that didn’t happen last year or things that you didn’t do. Maybe relationships that came to an end, or other events that you perceive as being negative

But I challenge you to shift your thinking about last year so that you can set yourself up for a fulfilling year, this year.

Are you ready to draw that line in the sand?

In your notebook or journal I’d like you to answer these questions to help with the whole process. Don’t worry if you don’t have answers for the questions. They are just prompts to see what comes up for you. There is no wrong or right way of doing any of this. Trust that you are always being guided.

What shall I now release from my life?

What am I holding on to that holds me back?

How am I being unloving to myself?

When we put pen to paper and write the words, it brings the thought from the mental and spiritual awareness into the physical realm of awareness.

Here’s a few more questions to ask yourself and write the answers in your notebook or journal:

How was last year healing?

What did I learn about myself?

How far have I come?

Now, I would like you to write down 5 successes you had in 2023. If you’re one of those people who tends to beat yourself up and think you don’t have any successes, I would urge you to write 2 or 3 for now and maybe spend time later adding to it.

It’s always easy for us to give ourselves a hard time, but you’ve probably achieved far more than you think, and you deserve the credit.

It could be that you have really started loving yourself more and you take more care of yourself. It could be something in your personal development that you’ve reached a new awareness about yourself.

Magic always happens on the other side of awareness

At the very least — you survived — so write that down! Hurrah!

This exercise is very powerful so please, don’t skip it.

The trick is setting intentions that feel authentic to who you are and promise to bring real change to how you approach every aspect of your life. You can take as long as you need to, to reflect on your New Year’s intentions. Intentions truly have no limit.

Now, remind yourself that you are welcoming in this year with love and joy, knowing, as Louise Hay would say:

“that what we give out comes back to us multiplied “

I have a few more prompts for you to answer in your journal:

How do I want this year to be?

How abundant in every area of my life do I want to feel?

How much love am I willing to experience?

Louise Hay said “let something go and try something new”. She always inspired others by how she was continually learning and was always ready to try new things. Let’s be inspired to try something new this year. What will be your something new?

Your New Life Story For An Abundant Year

For you to create your new life story so that you can welcome abundance in all areas of your life this year, I have a few ideas to help you establish a routine. These include talking with your Inner Child, Mirror Work and creating powerful affirmations.

At first, it does take some energy and focus to establish a routine that includes your daily self-growth work. But, once you have a routine established it becomes so easy to continue it. It becomes a habit. A habit that can empower you every day of the year and your life.

So create that sacred space just for you and connect with your vision and inner wisdom over the next couple weeks. Let go of being reactive and in survival mode and open up to receiving abundance in your life.

Are you saying YES to having the year you truly want? Because it’s here for you.

So no more New Year resolutions or making hard and fast goals for me.

However, what I do believe in, is committing to working on you! Working on your limiting beliefs, unresolved emotions, feelings of not enoughness or too muchness.

You may have a few blocks in relation to your work, your relationships, your health, your finances, your body, your love life.

So, the number one thing you can do to feel more abundant this year is to work on your mindset and beliefs about what you deserve. This means digging into those old stories and patterns that shape your relationship with yourself and the world around you.

A good place to start is to follow me on Insight Timer where you can find my recorded content and live event schedule.

Here’s the link

Maybe you’re ready to make a big shift in your life, to up-level every area of your life.

2024 can be a great year, your year.

And you don’t need to change who you are. By loving yourself more and more, you can create the life you have always deserved.

It’s here for you.

If you feel in your soul that this is the next right step on your path of transformation, then just follow this link to find out how you can work with me.

This work may be calling your name, but it’s a big decision! I get that.

So, why not meet me on a private Zoom call and I’ll answer any questions you have about the different ways you can work with me. I would love to meet with you face to face and help you decide if this is your next right step.

There will be no pressure, no pitching, just connecting with you to figure out what’s right for YOU.

Here’s the link to book in that call

I look forward to hearing from you.

Remember, this is your year no matter what ♥️

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When Life Goes Wrong

Blog / Admin

Sometimes it feels like one bad thing happens after another. I mean, one bad thing happens and then another bad thing happens and then another bloody bad thing happens.

That was me last week – yes, it happens to me too.

I was poodling along feeling so grateful for all the blessings in my life and then something happened on Monday which was pretty awful. The interesting thing was my trauma response was to go bed. Yes, when life goes very wrong – bury your head under the duvet and scream!!!

“What had I done wrong?” I asked myself.

“How had I brought this on…?”

After a lot of crying (and I mean a lot) screaming, swearing and getting support from my dearest friends and family, I soothed myself with –

“the universe has your back; this happened because something much better is on its way”.

So over the week, I picked myself up, dusted myself off and got back in the game of life.

By Friday, I was feeling good! Zumba, working with clients and even doing sweet little live events on Insight Timer and with my private FB community.

And then BOOM 💣💥 – Friday afternoon another pretty awful thing happened and then Friday evening, yes, you guessed it, another bloody awful thing happened.

Woah, I was in a bit of a state by the time I went to bed. Well, you know what, I wasn’t! I realised that the universe had been guiding me and helping to work through these issues and it was all happening for a reason.

You see, I now have tools 👩🏼‍🏭🛠🗜🔩🧰

Tools, to help me come out of the fight or flight mode.

Tools to help me to calm my traumatised nervous system.

Tools to help me lower my cortisol levels while raising my vibration.

I’m not saying it’s necessarily easy but it does definitely work.

I’m now back in a place of trust and knowing as Abraham Hicks says

“things are always working out for me (even when they don’t feel like they’re working out for me!)”.

The world feels like a crazy place at the moment – there is so much fear about the cost of living crisis and devastating conflict in different parts of the world. It’s easy for so many of us to retreat into that place of foreboding and crippling feelings of lack and I’ll say it again, fear.

What to do when life goes wrong… Badly!

If you’re in this situation or someone in your life is, some or all of the following points might help you / them. This is what helped me last week and really, any time I revert back into my “old self” of trauma induced paralysis.

Scream, yes scream! If you’re in an environment that you can safely do this and you won’t scare the bejesus out of anyone near you. This gets it out of your body. You’re not trying to bury the emotions – you’re literally giving them a voice which is always so much better for you than squashing it all down.
Bash some pillows or cushions. Again, this is getting the anger out of the body and benefits you in much the same way as screaming but I recommend both. Louise Hay swore by giving pillows a good old bash on a regular basis even if she felt angry or not – she wrote about how buried feelings of anger and distress are so damaging to us in every way and this exercise gets it out.
Talk to someone you can trust and who won’t judge you. This is really important. You need support from someone who is there for you. Someone who won’t criticise you (even subtly) or tell you what to do. They will just listen. These people are priceless so don’t ever let them go!!
Allow yourself to feel s**t. It is what it is AND you are where you are AND you feel how you feel. You’re allowed to have these feelings. We often start telling ourselves that we’re out of control or feel guilty for being so upset. This is often linked to childhood messages from our care givers, trying to get us to calm down and sometimes in not a very kind way. Embrace these feelings because the quicker you allow yourself to feel s**t, the quicker you will start to feel better.
FORGIVE yourself. Maybe some of what has happened is because of something you did or didn’t do. There is no point in blaming yourself and adding to the pile of crap you’re already feeling. And I think you know that. If you catch yourself berating yourself, just STOP. Stop right where you are and forgive yourself. Or at the very least say, “I am willing to forgive myself”. Life happens and this is a reminder that you are human and humans make mistakes.
Do nothing. You don’t have to decide anything straight away. You probably don’t have to react immediately, so don’t. It won’t help the situation none! Sit with it, absorb the information and go through the steps above. You don’t have to react when your cortisol levels are through the roof. I believe we are always being guided, so sit with it as best you can for now.
Praise yourself. I know, this sounds bonkers and yes it’s probably not easy to do straight away but if you’re like a lot of humans out there, you’ve probably gone through a fair bit in your life and you’re here to tell the tale. So, praise yourself for that! You have survived 100% of your worst days and you’re still here – maybe not smiling right now but you’re down, not out. Remind yourself of that – YOU ARE AMAZING. Yes, I say this to myself.

Now, what to do when you start to feel a bit better?

When the worst of the feelings start to abate, then what can you do?:

Meditation. You can sit and just breathe in and out slowly, counting on the in and out breath. I have shared lots of ideas on meditating in previous blogs. I meditate every single day and especially when I am facing challenges like this last week. My preferred go to is a guided meditation on that particular topic and there are 100’s to choose from on Insight Timer. I’m a teacher on the app now or have a look at my YouTube channel.
Tapping. EFT/Tapping is an incredible tool to help me lower any feelings of overwhelming stress and to reset my nervous system back to a calmer and more self-nurturing place. One of my favourites, is Tapping with Brad and here’s a great video on overwhelm.
Gratitude. No matter how bad life can get, there is always something that we can feel grateful about. But I know, it’s not that easy to do because, well, you just feel rubbish. But by slowly introducing or re-introducing (if you’ve lapsed a bit) a gratitude routine, you will not only help your wellbeing, mentally and physically, but you will start to have more to be grateful about. It is such a great way to raise your vibration. You are very welcome to join my small Gratitude & Support Group by joining my private FB group, Love Yourself – Women Inspiring Women. So, what are you grateful for today and, again, you can start small?
De-cluttering. I don’t mean housework! I mean intentionally clearing out something in your home, car, case or bag for the purpose of making way for something new. I am an enormous fan of decluttering and I’ve talked about it before with regard to manifesting abundance. In the last few days, I have been ritually burning some confidential papers that needed to go but I just hadn’t got round to doing it. The feeling of relief and release has been so profound. Start small but start – just start somewhere.
Get Yourself a God Box! I’m not a fan of the word God because it has been misused and abused by religions for millennia. I prefer Universe, Spirit even Goddess but God Box has such a great ring to it don’t you think? I have come across this before but I am currently working my way through Tosha Silver‘s wonderful book, “It’s Not Your Money” and she explains it all so well. Get yourself any kind of box (you choose how fancy or not) and write down on a piece of paper your burden. It can be about any subject at all (not just money) and offer it up to the Divine by popping it in the box. You can even say “I hand this to you Divine and I ask for the right actions to be shown to me”. Then do your best to forget about it! I found a lovely pink box to be my God Box and I already have 4 burdens in there 😊.

These are a few ideas of how you can help yourself when life goes wrong. I’m sure you might have a few tools of your own but sometimes, we just need a little reminder and that’s what this can be for you.

I hope that reading about my own authentic feelings shows you that life is a work in progress. We ALL have our stuff. But you might be in a place where your feelings run much deeper. You might think that it’s time to put YOU first. If so, have a look at what my coaching involves.

Just remember, you are never on your own and there is always support and guidance all around us.

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Brené Brown: The Call to Courage

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Who is Brené Brown and what is The Call to Courage?

If you have read any of my previous blogs, then you will know that I deeply admire Brené Brown. Brené is a research professor at the University of Houston, and a leading expert on vulnerability, courage, shame, and empathy. Her TED Talk on the power of vulnerability has been viewed over 50 million times, and her books have sold millions of copies.

Last night I watched Brené Brown: The Call to Courage which is on Netflix here in the UK, and it left me so uplifted. Brené explores the importance of choosing courage over comfort in a world that is often defined by scarcity, fear, and uncertainty. She shared her often very funny but poignant personal stories, research findings, and insights from her work with leaders, organisations, and individuals around the world.

One of the key messages of the documentary is that courage is not the absence of fear, but the ability to move forward in spite of it and only by showing up with our vulnerability, can we be truly courageous. She argues that courage is essential for living a full and meaningful life. It allows us to connect with others, take risks, and achieve our goals.

The documentary went into a lot of detail with exploring the link between courage and vulnerability. Brené defines vulnerability as “uncertainty, exposure, and emotional risk.” Vulnerability is not weakness, but strength. It is the willingness to show up and be seen, even when we are afraid.

The Call to Courage is a timely and important documentary that challenges us to choose courage over comfort in our own lives. It is a reminder that we are all capable of great things, if we are willing to be vulnerable and open ourselves up to connection.

Here are some of my main key takeaways from The Call to Courage:

Courage is not the absence of fear, but the ability to move forward in spite of it.
Vulnerability is not weakness, but strength. It is the willingness to show up and be seen, even when we are afraid.
Shame is the fear of disconnection. It is the fear of not being good enough.
Empathy is the ability to connect with the feelings of another person. It is the ability to walk in someone else’s shoes.
Connection is the antidote to shame. It is the feeling of being seen, heard, and understood.

If you are looking for a film that will challenge you, inspire you, and help you live a more courageous life, then I highly recommend The Call to Courage.

And here are some of the lessons I learned from the documentary:

Courage is not something that we have or don’t have. It is a muscle that we can build through practice.
Vulnerability is not weakness. It is the strength to be open and authentic, even when we are afraid.
Shame is a universal emotion, but it doesn’t have to define us. We can overcome shame by cultivating courage and vulnerability.
Connection is the antidote to shame. When we feel connected to others, we feel less alone and less afraid.

In her work, Brené Brown has found that vulnerability is the only way to truly connect with others and experience joy, love, and belonging.

What is vulnerability?

Vulnerability is the willingness to show up and be seen, even when there is the risk of being hurt. It is the courage to be imperfect, to be honest, and to be open to feedback.

Why is vulnerability important?

Vulnerability is important because it is the foundation of all meaningful relationships. When we are vulnerable, we allow others to see us for who we really are, and this can create a deep sense of connection. Vulnerability also allows us to experience the full range of human emotions, both positive and negative.

What are the three elements of vulnerability?

Brené identifies three key elements of vulnerability – uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure.

Uncertainty: When we are vulnerable, we are opening ourselves up to the unknown. We don’t know how others will react to us, and this can be a scary feeling.
Risk: Vulnerability also involves risk. When we put ourselves out there, we are opening ourselves up to the possibility of getting hurt.
Emotional exposure: Vulnerability involves emotional exposure. When we are vulnerable, we are sharing our true feelings, and this can be a very exposing experience.

How can we be more vulnerable?

Leaning into vulnerability is not easy, but so worth it. Here are some ideas:

Start small: If you’re not used to being vulnerable, start by sharing small things with people you trust. This will help you build your confidence and get used to the feeling of being exposed.
Be mindful of your thoughts and feelings: When you’re feeling vulnerable, pay attention to your thoughts and feelings. What are you afraid of? What are you hoping for?
Practise self-compassion: When you make a mistake or get hurt, be kind to yourself. Remember that everyone makes mistakes, and that vulnerability is a part of being human.

The benefits of vulnerability

The benefits of vulnerability are many. When we are vulnerable, we can:

Experience deeper connections: When we open ourselves up to others, we can create deeper connections with them.
Experience more joy: Vulnerability allows us to experience the full range of human emotions, including joy.
Be more authentic: When we are vulnerable, we are being more authentic. We are showing our true selves to the world, and this can be a very freeing experience.
Be more resilient: When we experience vulnerability, we learn to be more resilient. We learn how to cope with difficult emotions and how to bounce back from setbacks.

Vulnerability is the foundation of all meaningful relationships, and it is the key to experiencing joy, love, and belonging. And isn’t that a wonderful thing?

If you’re looking to connect with others on a deeper level, or if you want to experience more joy in your life, I encourage you to embrace vulnerability and all that it entails.

Here are some additional resources that you may find helpful after watching The Call to Courage:

Brené Brown’s website: https://brenebrown.com
Brené Brown’s TED Talk which she talked at length about during the film:

And here are Brené Brown’s books:

Daring Greatly

Rising Strong

Braving the Wilderness

Atlas of the Heart

I highly recommend watching Brené Brown: The Call to Courage if you are interested in learning more about courage, vulnerability, and shame. It is an inspiring and thought-provoking documentary that challenges us all to live a more courageous life.

And to find out more about me, here is my Meet Liz Page!

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Are You Worthy?

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Or do you every feel unworthy? Do you tell yourself that you’re just not worthy or not deserving?

Such a big, sticky, messy subject – our feelings around worthiness…

Let’s go through this, step by step.

Feeling worthy is a state of mind in which you believe that you are valuable and deserving of good things. It is a sense of self-acceptance and self-love. When you feel worthy, you are more likely to take care of yourself, set and achieve goals, and build healthy relationships.

Maybe that can explain why we can subconsciously block what we want – because deep down, we just don’t think we’re worthy of it.

There are many things that can contribute to feeling unworthy.

These can include and of course are not exclusive:

Negative self-talk
Trauma or abuse
Low self-esteem
Depression or anxiety

This is an ongoing journey and now again, it still hits me and I need to gently and with a lot of self-compassion, bring myself back to those feelings of innate worthiness. It’s not always easy!!

I remember the first time it dawned on me and where part of my story came from. Because it all starts with self-awareness, otherwise, how can we change?

I was walking the dog one day…. and I was questioning myself (again…) about why I didn’t feel deserving. I had been cogitating this and wondering why saying to myself Louise Hay’s fab affirmation “I deserve the best and accept it now” just didn’t feel true for me…..

Obviously, what I do is to help women see that they are always good enough and deserve the best life has to give and I thought that if I don’t feel it how can I help them. But that’s another blog for another day 😂😂

Then I went back to my simple “I am worthy” and it hit me!!

Growing up as a child, every day at school and at mass each week, we would recite all these prayers and one line that would be repeated over and over again was “I am not worthy”.

Well blow me down with a feather – no wonder I had never felt worthy…. I had been saying it to myself for frigging years, almost my whole life.

So my new walking mantra whenever I feel slightly doubtful about myself or any situation for that matter is, guess what – yes….

“I AM WORTHY”

Say it with me…

It covers everything – that I am good enough and that I am worthy just because I exist…..

If you are struggling with feeling unworthy, there are things you can do to improve your self-worth in addition to the above walking mantra “I am worthy”.

Try any or all of these:

Challenge negative self-talk. When you catch yourself thinking negative things about yourself, challenge those thoughts. Ask yourself if they are really true (most of them are definitely not). If not, try to replace them with more positive thoughts.
Set realistic expectations. Don’t put too much pressure on yourself to be perfect. Everyone makes mistakes, and that’s okay. Learn to accept yourself for who you are.
Surround yourself with positive people. The people you spend time with have a big impact on your self-esteem. Make sure you are surrounding yourself with people who make you feel good about yourself. If this isn’t always possible then try to limit your time with them!
Take care of yourself. Make sure you are eating healthy, getting enough sleep, and moving your body regularly. Taking care of your physical health will help you feel better about yourself and your self-worth..
Forgive yourself. Everyone makes mistakes. If you’ve done something wrong, forgive yourself and try to move on. Holding on to guilt and shame will only make you feel worse.
Focus on your strengths. Everyone has strengths and weaknesses. Make a list of your strengths and focus on developing them. When you focus on your strengths, you’ll feel more confident and worthy.
Do things that make you happy. When you do things that make you happy, you’ll feel better about yourself. Make time for activities that you enjoy, such as spending time with the people you love, pursuing hobbies, or giving back to your local community.
Seek professional help. If you’re struggling to feel worthy on your own, don’t be afraid to seek professional help. A therapist or a coach can help you identify the root of your low self-worth so that you can let them go and develop new beliefs about yourself.

The most important thing to remember is that it takes time and and some effort to build a strong sense of self-worth. But it’s SO worth it (pardon the pun 🤪). When you feel worthy, you’ll live a happier, healthier, and more fulfilling life but it can take small steps to get there.

Here is a link to one of my previous blogs with some very wise words from Brené Brown“

You were born worthy of love and belonging

Brené Brown – Worthiness and Shame

And if you want to go in even deeper, here’s a super short video on worthiness I shared a while ago:

Trust your worthiness

Remember, you are worthy simply because you exist. You are worthy of love, respect, and happiness. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise, and that includes you!

If you’d like to find out how you can work with me to develop that deep sense of self-worth, why not book in a call with me so we can see if this healing work is for you? Here’s the link

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Are you living with anxiety?

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I know I’ve talked about living with low level or even high level anxiety in the past but it’s such an important subject isn’t it? It affects so many people in society now, from young children right through to older people who are dealing with the stresses of ageing and all that entails.

So, let’s look at some ways that can help ease the symptoms of anxiety and may even make it dissipate completely!

The following ideas might help but first of all, I invite you to immerse yourself in some self-compassion!

There is some amazing research from Dr Paul Gilbert around self-love and he found that when you train people to be loving and compassionate towards every aspect of themselves (even the parts that they don’t like), their suffering, mental anxiety, depression, shame, and feelings of inferiority are significantly reduced.

At the same time, practising loving compassion increases their ability to feel more joy and love and happiness.

Self-compassion works!

How can you be more compassionate with yourself today – right now? And above all, when you feel any anxiety start to creep into your awareness.

Let go of the judgement and having loving compassion for yourself.

What actually helps if you are living with anxiety?

Here are a few suggestions – you don’t have to try them all but if you have a toolkit of practices ready, the feeling of being out of control or being under the control of anxiety will become weaker:

Meditation

Meditation is scientifically proven to help train your mind to focus and help you redirect your thoughts. It alleviates anxiety, it improves concentration, and enhances self-awareness. I know I bang on about it but it is incredible and has changed my life SO much – follow this link for my root chakra meditation which can help you feel safe in those anxious moments.

Eat something sour 🍋

If you feel a panic attack coming on, or maybe you’re in a longer wave of anxiety, eat something sour! Maybe a slice of lemon or why not keep some lemon sweets in your bag or pocket so you can pop one in your mouth, if needed? Your brain will quickly switch from the anxious thoughts to focusing on this new, alarming sensation in your mouth.

Sparkling water technique

This is really helpful if the water is cold. Notice the condensation on the glass and feel how cold it is to pick up. Then take a sip and try to be aware of the bubbles in your mouth and how it feels when you swallow. This is a great grounding exercise that again, using all of your senses. It helps you disassociate from the anxiety. Don’t drink too quickly or those bubbles will go up your nose!

Essential oils

This is a personal favourite and I used it, yet again, today when I was going to the dentist. I rub lavender essential oil on my pulse points and into the palms of my hands (always check for skin sensitivity before doing this). I then just breathe it in. It works every time by calming me.

There is evidence that inhaling essential oils can trigger the secretion of endorphins, thereby decreasing feelings of anxiety. Peppermint oil is another popular oil as is eucalyptus which works to clear airways and mental fog and frankincense which is known to lessen anxiety by activating the limbic system to overcome your racing thoughts.

Have a shower! 🚿

Research suggests that hot showers alleviate anxiety as a result of the heat prompting our brains to release oxytocin, the “happy hormone”, which in turn reduces our anxiety.

Challenge your thoughts

If you can, in that moment, ask yourself why you are worried or fearful. Ask yourself “what is the worst thing that can happen now?” If it is a negative thought you can change, maybe you could write down a positive thought to counter it. Challenging those anxious thoughts allows you to put them into perspective. This is very powerful.

Colouring! 🎨

This isn’t something that will necessarily help in the moment, but colouring has the ability to relax the fear centre of your brain, the amygdala. It induces the same state as meditating by reducing the thoughts of a restless mind. This generates quietness, which allows your mind to get some much needed rest.

Learn what your triggers might be so you can see the anxiety coming

How can you figure out what triggers your anxiety? I would suggest keeping a journal so that you can keep track of your feelings on paper. Good and bad. This is a great way to help you analyse what situations make you feel anxious.

Progressive muscle relaxation

You can reduce anxiety in your body by slowly tensing and then relaxing each muscle. The theory behind this exercise is that you cannot have the feeling of relaxation and warm well-being in your body and at the same time experience anxiety symptoms.

EFT Tapping

Have you come across Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) before? It’s a powerful technique for so many issues but especially anxiety. The best way I can describe it is that it’s like acupressure without the needles (phew!). It combines tapping on energy meridians and making statements about the “problem” plus loving and accepting yourself. You’re not denying the anxiety but by accepting it, you can let it go. Then by making positive statements, the entire nervous system becomes calmer. EFT can clear those anxious thoughts and feelings quickly. This video by Brad Yates is great!

Deep breathing / Imagine your happy place / 54321 exercise with senses / Talk to someone / Reassure yourself / Moving your body / Get outside / Affirmations

All of the above suggestions can be found in my previous blog and are super powerful. Follow this link to find out more.

And in the following video, I share some more suggestions when you’re feeling the anxiety build;

Help with anxiety

We are all beautifully different, so no one answer will suit all of us and that’s why I have given you lots of options to try.

What makes your anxiety worse?

This is not about making you feel bad or guilty about having any kind of anxiety. This is to empower you so you feel in control of your mind, your body and your spirit.

The following come up again and again in studies in things that can contribute to anxiety. I don’t believe we have to cut out all caffeine, for example, but if you find that this can trigger your anxiety, it is quite simple to find alternatives.

Skipping meals 🍽
Caffeine ☕️
Refined sugar 🍬
Processed foods 🍕
Junk food 🍔
Not drinking enough water 💦
Alcohol 🍷
No exercise 🏊‍♀️
Lack of sleep 😴
Watching the news 📺
Comparing yourself to others 😳
Ignoring the anxiety 🤦🏻‍♀️

One last thing if you are living with anxiety

I want to close on a real positive and to invite you to look at how you start your day… ☀️

You wake up in the morning, opening your eyes, moving your body and you’re ready to step into your day.

Before you do, just give yourself permission to be in this moment.

This is a gentle reminder that it’s so easy to jump into the day, not mentally preparing for the day but letting the day take us over.

We check the news, go on social media and all of a sudden, our minds are running around with the rest of the world.

Instead of jumping out into the world, why not allow yourself to be in your world for a few minutes in the morning?

Be in your own space.

Imagine that there is a bubble around you and there is nothing here but you.

Being in that moment can prepare you for the day ahead.

Just breathing in and out.

As you sit or lie there, is there someone or something calling you into the day?

Just bring yourself back.

A great way to call ourselves back and to be in that moment, is to be grounded.

Instead of plugging ourselves into the world around us immediately, we are going to plug ourselves in to Mother Earth.

I’d like you to imagine that at the base of your spine is a beautiful tree trunk and it’s growing down into the planet. 🌳

It’s rooting into the earth.

You’re safe – rooted into the planet.

By allowing yourself to be rooted and grounded, you can carry on your day like that.

I find if I don’t start the day like this, the day ahead becomes unrooted and ungrounded.

My thoughts become scattered.

If you’re grounded the world tends to reflect that back to you.

With this tree trunk you can also let go of any stress and anxiety that may already be coming up for you in the morning.

Relax and let yourself be calm and just sit or lie there if you’re still in your bed – in the morning is the easiest time to be relaxed and just be.

Everything around you is awakening, the sun, the plants, the animals – everything on this beautiful planet. 🌎🌏🌍

What a perfect time to feel grounded and to feel the gratitude of being alive.

We can start by noticing the breath and being thankful for the air coming into the lungs.

Notice the room that you’re in, the space that you have.

The fact that you can sleep quietly and comfortably, far more than so many human beings in the world.

There is so much to be grateful for.

We can be grateful for our friends and our family.

For your entire life.

Whatever you find you are grateful for, just give yourself the time to really feel it.

Enjoy that gratitude.

Now, if the word gratitude brings a lot of resistance for you?

Why not try appreciation? At first, I found that saying I was grateful made me feel guilty because I had so much in comparison to others. I blame my catholic guilt ridden upbringing!

Then ask yourself a question

“Am I here on this planet in this life just to get through it?”

“Or am I here to enjoy it?”

“To be grateful – to celebrate?”

Sometimes we might think that gratitude is a luxury, but for a happy and healthy life and mental space, gratitude is a necessity.

You can even have gratitude for yourself for reading this blog and taking the time for you.

You can have gratitude for being grateful.

Know that life is with you.

Life is not against you.

You are supported. 🥰

Also in the morning, you can set your intention for the day.

What direction do you want to go?

Do you want to learn and grow?

Do you want to celebrate? 💃🏻

Do you want to have fun and enjoy yourself? 🤸🏽‍♀️

Feel pleasure?

What do you want to bring into the world today and what would you like to get out of it?

Feeling calm and grounded and full of gratitude means you can step into the day with purpose.

You are here for a reason.

You are here for a purpose.

You matter and you are important.

Life will reflect back to you what it is you are looking for today.

Why not bring a sense of joy and lightness, not only into your life but into the lives of everyone around you.

A while ago, I set up a gratitude messenger group. It’s small and supportive and there is no pressure to post at all! For me, it works so well to keep to a gratitude practice and I just love it all.

Get in contact here if you’d like to be a part of it.

A day is never wasted – it is the opportunity to be alive – even if you’re sick in bed. 🤧

To contribute.

To share.

To express yourself.

Every day on this planet is a miracle.

Have gratitude, appreciation and have intention.

I hope what has turned out to be a long old blog has helped you and I would truly love to hear from you and how you deal with your anxiety. For more info on how you can work with me, follow this link.

Sending you much love and remember you’re never alone with your anxiety. ♥️

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Who’s Winning? You or the Voice in Your Head?

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We all have one – that inner saboteur! Whispering away inside our head and sometimes it feels non-stop or it does until we decide enough is enough. That was me. I had spent what felt like a life time letting that voice tell me all kinds of really crappy things. Telling me I was stupid, that I didn’t matter, that I was unimportant, that I was too loud, too quiet, fat, lumpy, unpopular…. I could go on. Who’s winning?

The first relationship we have in life is with ourselves. No one else goes through every experience in life with us. No matter how long we might have a partner for, we are our one permanent companion. And yet we are often our absolute worst critic. Do you agree?

If you are wondering who’s winning, you or the voice in your head, I have a lovely little exercise to remind ourselves of our magnificence and fabulousness. It’s similar to exercises I do with my clients but this is really short and so simple, you can do it in less than 5 minutes.

5 Things I Like About Myself

Start by writing down at least 5 things that you like about yourself.

Have you noticed that I haven’t said love because if it was “5 things I love about myself”, some might not even go there. So, let’s stick to 5 things you like about yourself.

Now, I don’t want you to be modest! If you’re finding it hard to come up with 5 then this exercise can really help you. I’m not talking about physical attributes but you can add them if you wish but we are SO much more than that. Our bodies are only part of who we are.

If it’s really tricky to list the 5 things, think of what you like about people in your life that you really admire, because these traits are often qualities that you possess too. Another thing that might help is to think of 5 things that voice in your head says about you and flip them to a positive!! Yes it does work 😊

This is the challenging bit – continue this process for a week, thinking of five new things you like about yourself each day.

At the end of the week, read the list aloud to yourself while standing in front of a mirror. Yes, we’re back to that mirror again! Instead of looking for the things that you dislike about yourself or what the voice in your head calls you, allow the mirror to reflect your magnificence. Because you are and fabulous too.

You may feel really daft standing in front of a mirror and reading your list out loud, but it might bring a smile to your face and start to change the way you see yourself.

For those moments when you think the voice in your head is winning

Remember, it’s when you feel the most resistant that this exercise can help you the most. Where there is the most resistance is where there is the biggest breakthrough. I was told this at my Heal Your Life training and did I have some breakthroughs!!

Modern life has taught us to look out at the world. To look outside of ourselves, instead of looking at ourselves and becoming more aware of who we truly are. No wonder, we don’t see the magnificence that we are and that which others often can see.

When we take the time to experience ourselves the way we would experience someone we love and admire, we become our best champion and cheerleader on life’s journey.

🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄

Love Yourself Advent Calendar

If you like this little exercise, then you’ll love the Love Yourself Advent Calendar which I am hosting in my private FB group – JOIN HERE, if you’re not already a member. This special 24 day Advent Calendar will help you to honour, support and love yourself all the way up to Christmas.

The Advent Calendar will be a mixture of meditations, live videos and printables to bring more self-love into your life.

In case you’re concerned, no meditation experience is required!

Let this calendar draw you closer into what feels true to you, and invite in a healthier and happier you for a truly fabulous Christmas.

Each day is designed to encourage you to take a little time to tend to your mind, body and also your spirit if that’s your thing.

Meditation is scientifically proven to help train your mind to focus and help you redirect your thoughts. It also helps with stress management, alleviates anxiety, improves concentration, and enhances self awareness. And remember – magic ALWAYS happens on the other side of awareness!

Join me if you want to level up your brain/body/spirit connection and feel the emotional ease that comes from giving this advent calendar as a gift to yourself each day.

The invitation is yours and someone you care about – so invite them to the group too.

Take on the whole 24 days or drop in whenever it feels good for you.

Everyone can meditate and everyone can take a little time for themselves to breath, to take time out and just be.

🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄

If you’d like to find out more about my 1 to 1 online coaching sessions, follow this link or my online course to let go of the weight, follow this link.

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Calling All High Achievers

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High Achievers. An image of a woman pointing to the centre of a target board. And an image of Liz Doyle the positive change coach

So many of my clients are or have been high achievers in their careers. When they come to me, they talk with pride about what they do within their work BUT there is a feeling of needing to do more and more. They often say that they are always striving to prove themselves and so that means they have to do more – be more.

High Achievers, I have a few questions for you..

If your job title or position within your organisation was taken away, would you feel you were good enough? 🤔

If you weren’t earning the salary or making the money you are making, would you feel good enough? 🤔

If these outward signs of achievement were stripped from you, who would you be? 🤔

I am not saying that working to make more money or career advancement doesn’t matter but it isn’t who we are. It is not solely why we are here.

I think we can so easily lose sight of who we truly are and I think that’s why so women want to work with me. They want to come back to that person again. They want to know their worth and know they are always good enough, without having to prove it to others or themselves.

No validation needed…

If you feel you might be a high functioning, high (or maybe over) achiever, then the following might resonate with you:

You’re hardworking (obvs) but you often find yourself overthinking and overanalysing what others say to you 😳
You’re feeling overwhelmed and burnt out because you’re so detail oriented and a perfectionist 😳
You’re ambitious which leads you to not honouring your boundaries and not being able to say no 😳
You’re organised and well prepared and sometimes wonder if you have a deep need to be busy all the time to obtain approval 😳
On the outside you appear calm but on the inside you have unrealistic expectations of yourself and others 😳
Although it would appear you do well under pressure, the reality is you’re busy people pleasing, have a deep fear of failure and can be full of self-doubt 😳

I know this looks like a lot but MAGIC always happens on the other side of AWARENESS.

These patterns in our lives all start in our childhood so by going back and just observing where these core limiting beliefs came from can be so powerful. By doing this, we can start to unravel these old stories and negative messages to gently change our lives so that we can truly love who we are. The ripple effect of all of this can have such a profound on everyone around us too.

You deserve the best and you are always worthy. Just remind yourself of that.

Fancy a confidential chat about what I do? Maybe go to my Work With Me Page first?

This link will give you access to my diary so you can book in a call with me.

So high achievers, hands up 🙋🏻‍♀️🙋🏻‍♀️🙋🏻‍♀️

Or do you know some high achievers or over achievers? Maybe share this blog with them…

Or maybe you used to be a higher achiever and you’ve moved beyond always having to do more? I would love to know.

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Are You Living Up To Your True Potential?

Blog / Admin

Yesterday, in my regular love letter, I shared this big old subject which can make some of us shudder. I know it can for me sometimes – are you living up to your true potential?

Not living up to my true potential!!

Oooh, I feel better just for sharing that and I realise that it may make me sound like some sort of high achiever but I have never ever identified with that term.

However, that question is there, sitting on my shoulder, occasionally whispering in my ear.

I went to a grammar school run by nuns (say no more) but I never reached my potential there as I wasn’t nurtured or encouraged.

I guess they did their best. But there were rigid frameworks of what academic path to take and if you didn’t fit into that shape then you were left adrift – very much adrift. I was definitely a round peg trying to be shoved into a square hole. Does that resonate? I spent most of my formative years feeling a little lost and I carried that with me for a long time until I discovered Louise Hay’s work and coaching.

Coming out of a toxic marriage was a HUGE catalyst for me to stop letting my life just pass me by. I’d had some amazing life experiences up until my mid 20’s but then they seemed to dry up (apart from having my 3 beautiful daughters in my 30’s, of course). Because of the exciting things I had been doing, this meant I had never embarked on a ‘career’ as such so was making do for a long time. Looking back, I realise I also never felt good enough to do more and so worked around my daughters which tbh, I don’t regret as those years were so precious.

I’m now 62 and am only just realising what I’m actually capable of and I am embracing it wholeheartedly.

So I am testament, it’s never ever too late. Helping women love themselves and accept themselves as they are is just life changing.

And life is also so much more than these achievements isn’t it? The richness of life is also in the smallest of moments where we just enjoy our friends’ laughter or watch a butterfly land on a flower. It really is about the rich tapestry of life and all that entails.

So what about you? Are you living up to your true potential? Is this linked to your work or maybe to other things in your life like charity work or hobbies? Or does the thought just make you shudder? I’d love to know.

The following quote has always fascinated me:

“What would you do if you knew you could not fail?”
This quote is attributed to Robert H Schuller as well as Eleanor Roosevelt

Drop me an email or a message and let me know.

Would you like to connect with your true self and realise your potential?

My diary is open if you’d like to have a call to see if we’d be a good fit or to find out about my online course, you can book here or have a peek at the rest of my website here.

This is such a perfect affirmation for the subject of living to your true potential

” I have the courage to live my dreams “
Louise Hay

P.S. If you would like to receive my fortnightly love letter with ideas and inspiration for loving yourself more, follow this link and you will also receive my 7 Simple Morning Rituals for a Beautiful Day.

Want a chat about my 1 to 1 coaching or my online course “21 Days To Letting Go Of The Weight”?

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Workplace Bullying

Blog / Admin

Have you ever experienced workplace bullying?

I had such an extraordinary session with my client recently where we looked at her blocks around her work life and also prosperity. In fact, the same session with another client, last week, was also really insightful. I am seeing a real pattern with a lot of my clients where they have experienced workplace bullying. This has normally been from their upline manager and their lives have been made so difficult that they felt, at the time, they had no choice but to leave. 😢

In a couple of cases, clients decided to start to work for themselves as they couldn’t face experiencing such potentially toxic and damaging treatment again.

The effect that this bullying has had on them has been so bad that they were physically unwell and psychologically traumatised for months and months afterwards. The long term effects can’t really be quantified.

By working with me, they have been able to let go of so much of the guilt and shame as well as self-blame around the whole situation or maybe situations if they encountered more than one bully.

We have been able to start to forgive the people involved and see where so many patterns have come from. To break those patterns is such a rewarding exercise.

I shared a post on LinkedIn (follow this link) which got such interesting feedback and here are what some women said:

“When I read about people’s heartache and leaving good jobs on numerous occasions, turning job offers down for more favourable environments, being able to talk about it openly and honestly on LinkedIn and it makes me feel thoughtful and interested when I think about all the children and all the young people in education and in schools that do not have this luxury and are left suffering, many of them feeling that they have only one way to escape from the bully, suffering trauma, unable to gain an education.”

My response; ” But I also wonder if us adults feel that we can speak up. From my clients’, friends’ and even from people commenting on this post’s experiences, it would seem they felt unable to speak up. They feel that the only option is to leave which is really very sad. The more we talk about it, the more we might see some changes take place. ”

Another said; ” Are the adults who are bullied in the workplace, the children and young people who was bullied in school?

I cannot imagine if one sailed through the education system without being bullied, to then come up against a bully in the workplace must be an overwhelming shock to one’s system.

On the other hand, I can imagine children and young people bullied in school and also bullied in the workplace, given they carry trauma from the past, unsure of what constructive criticism is, and on high alert for a repeat of what happened to them in school to happen again in the workplace, and many bullies will sense this.

My response; ” Your observation is quite similar to what I have found with some clients. It may have been bullying at school or from a parent/care giver and often, if we don’t deal with these patterns they can repeat themselves again and again in one way or another. “

S said; ” I seem to be a bit of a target. In fact, after the last time I left a workplace because of a bully, I swore I’d never go back to being employed in a workplace. Nearly 10 years on and I’m up for a job where I would have to go in and work with others. I’m almost inclined to turn it down even though I know I’ve got lots to offer because I’m afraid of what will happen. “

M’s comment; ” I have been bullied 3 times in the workplace, and left each time, I left good jobs. I run away from trouble.

When my Mother was dying of cancer one woman who was very controlling & opinionated upped her game and tried to put me under pressure. She manipulated other colleagues too. When Mum passed I had nothing left to give & left a job I loved. HR was dreadful, useless and my Manager was worse. I find that in my case other women’s insecurities played out and it manifested in their bullying nature. “

H commented; ” To be honest, the only way I’ve ever overcome workplace bullying was to leave! It’s so sad to think that there are so many people in jobs who feel they NEED to leave for their own mental health due to others poor behaviour.

I’ve left 2 jobs my my working life due to bullying, and at the time I thought leaving because of others, or because the company wouldn’t listen or even BELIEVE you, seems like the worst thing. But in hindsight I’ve learnt so much about working relationships and people skills that I know do consider it a blessing. “

Can you see a pattern with all of these comments? More needs to be done but looking back at the messages we received as children, at school and at home, can help us so much in interrupting these patterns.

After all of this response, I thought it would be really helpful to share this video which is an exercise I share with my clients. It’s very quick but can make a huge difference in lots of, potentially, challenging situations. Of course, this is another exercise originally shared by Louise Hay.

Blessing With Love by Louise Hay

If you have experienced workplace bullying, how bad was it and how did you overcome it? 💚

If you are seeing a pattern here and would like to break it, why not have a look at how I can help you here, and book in a chat with me, following this link.

Workplace Bullying Read More »

You are enough

Let's start by defining what I mean by gently stepping into your power ​

I decided to feel all the feelings after I did a bit of hiding and numbing and freezing!!

What is your story?

We can't release what we don't know we're holding

You can change your story one step at a time

Your love for yourself is growing - trust me on that!

You can step into your power with grace by embracing all of your selves - give it your best shot

Walk through the world together

Slow down and Dance

Make your richest relationship the one you have with yourself

Setting Intentions for An Abundant Year

Are you ready to draw that line in the sand?

Magic always happens on the other side of awareness

“that what we give out comes back to us multiplied “

Your New Life Story For An Abundant Year

Are you saying YES to having the year you truly want? Because it’s here for you.

You see, I now have tools 👩🏼‍🏭🛠🗜🔩🧰

What to do when life goes wrong… Badly!

Now, what to do when you start to feel a bit better?

Who is Brené Brown and what is The Call to Courage?

Here are some of my main key takeaways from The Call to Courage:

What is vulnerability?

Why is vulnerability important?

What are the three elements of vulnerability?

How can we be more vulnerable?

The benefits of vulnerability

Here are some additional resources that you may find helpful after watching The Call to Courage:

There are many things that can contribute to feeling unworthy.

“I AM WORTHY”

Try any or all of these:

The following ideas might help but first of all, I invite you to immerse yourself in some self-compassion!

Self-compassion works!

What actually helps if you are living with anxiety?

Meditation

Eat something sour 🍋

Sparkling water technique

Essential oils

Have a shower! 🚿

Challenge your thoughts

Colouring! 🎨

Learn what your triggers might be so you can see the anxiety coming

Progressive muscle relaxation

EFT Tapping

Deep breathing / Imagine your happy place / 54321 exercise with senses / Talk to someone / Reassure yourself / Moving your body / Get outside / Affirmations

What makes your anxiety worse?

One last thing if you are living with anxiety

Then ask yourself a question

Also in the morning, you can set your intention for the day.

5 Things I Like About Myself

For those moments when you think the voice in your head is winning

Love Yourself Advent Calendar

High Achievers, I have a few questions for you..

No validation needed…

If you feel you might be a high functioning, high (or maybe over) achiever, then the following might resonate with you:

Not living up to my true potential!!

I’m now 62 and am only just realising what I’m actually capable of and I am embracing it wholeheartedly.

The following quote has always fascinated me:

Have you ever experienced workplace bullying?

Blessing With Love by Louise Hay

Let's start by defining what I mean by gently stepping into your power