Positive Change Coaching Archives

Gratitude for The Good, The Bad, Or The Ugly

How can we feel grateful for the good, the bad or the downright ugly? Gratitude for a bad day, a bad week or a really bad month seems crazy sometimes doesn’t it?

BUT we can try to practise feeling gratitude for all of the situations in our lives. Even really challenging situations can contain important lessons that are linked to our growth and our capacity to receive abundance. Your intentions will occur in divine timing, not necessarily your timing.

When we practise gratitude, more and more magical moments and divine synchronicities can show up in our lives. By letting go of expectations and embracing appreciation for the present moment, we can experience the benefits of gratitude every day. Worrying too much about the past or future can have negative effects on our mental health, making it essential to practise letting go.

How can we let go and cultivate genuine gratitude for the good, the bad or the ugly?

We’ve all been there, clinging to things that no longer serve us, whether it’s a grudging job, a toxic relationship, or even just a negative thought pattern. But holding onto baggage weighs us down, preventing us from experiencing the joy and abundance that life has to offer.

Letting Go – Releasing the grip of what no longer serves you

Where do we begin with letting go? It’s not about pretending negativity doesn’t exist, but rather acknowledging it and gently releasing its hold on us.

Here are some ways to start:

Mindfulness – Take a moment to observe your thoughts and feelings without judgment. Notice what brings you down and then, with conscious intention, release it. Imagine it as a balloon floating away into the sky.

Journaling – Write down your worries, fears, and frustrations. Putting them on paper can help you process and release them. Then safely burn or tear up the paper symbolically letting go.

Forgiveness – Holding onto grudges is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to get sick. Forgive those who have wronged you, not for them, but for your own inner peace.

Acceptance – Sometimes, things just don’t go our way. Instead of fighting against reality, practise acceptance. Accept what is, and then see what possibilities open up. I have found this practice so powerful.

What would you like to let go of?
What thoughts are holding you back?
What feelings and emotions are making you feel stuck?

What practice from the ones I shared might help you? Mindfulness; Journaling; Forgiveness; Acceptance

How can you cultivate gratitude when life throws you lemons?

We all know those times when happiness feels like a distant memory, and the weight of the world seems to be on our shoulders. But even in the midst of hardship, there’s often a flicker of light, a reason to be grateful.

Let’s have a look at the power of gratitude and how it can be a source of strength and resilience even when life feels tough.

The Challenge of Gratitude in Difficult Times

Let’s be honest, feeling grateful when life is bloody hard can feel downright absurd.

When we’re facing financial struggles, relationship breakdowns, health issues, or any other kind of adversity, the last thing we want to do is count our blessings. It’s natural to feel angry, frustrated, and overwhelmed.

So, why even bother with gratitude in these moments? I’ve been there myself. A few years ago, it felt like everything was falling apart. I was putting a brave face on everything for my family, but I was in such a dark place. Just functioning really, when I look back – it was very dark.

But in the middle of all that darkness, I was recommended to start a practice that helped me so much. Every day, I’d force myself to write down three things I was grateful for, no matter how small. It could be something as simple as a warm cup of tea in bed, a beautiful sunset, or a walk with my dog.

At first, it didn’t feel real at all. But gradually, something shifted. My focus started to move away from the negativity and towards the little pockets of good that still existed in my life.

This highlights something very important – gratitude isn’t about ignoring the bad things. It’s about acknowledging them while also choosing to appreciate the good that still exists, even in very small doses.

The Science of Gratitude

But gratitude isn’t just about feeling warm and squishy. There’s a growing body of research that shows the real, tangible benefits of practising gratitude. Studies have shown that gratitude can:

boost our mood
improve our sleep
strengthen our relationships
even increase our resilience in the face of stress and adversity.

Gratitude activates a specific reward pathway in the brain, releasing feel-good chemicals like dopamine and serotonin. This, in turn, can lead to a more positive outlook, increased motivation, and a stronger sense of well-being. Additionally, focusing on the good things in our lives can help us change the way we view challenges and setbacks, making them seem less daunting and more manageable.

It’s good to know that there is actual science behind why feeling grateful makes us feel better!

How To Cultivate Gratitude in Hard Times

Okay, so we know that gratitude is good for us, even when life is hard. But how do we actually cultivate it when negativity feels like it’s taking over?

Here are a few practical tips:

Start Small

Don’t try to force yourself to be grateful for really big things. Begin with simple things, like the taste of your favourite food, your morning shower, or the feeling of sunlight on your face.

A gratitude meditation might be a helpful way to start small. There are an awful lot of guided Gratitude meditations out there. I have one on Insight Timer, and it also incorporates the teachings of Louise Hay so even more to love! It’s called Louise Hay Gratitude Meditation, would you believe!

Here’s the link for you to access it

Keep A Gratitude Journal

Spend a few minutes each day writing down three things you’re grateful for. This can be a powerful way to train your brain to focus on the positive. If it helps, you can join my group on Insight Timer – Liz Doyle’s Gratitude & Support Group and here’s the link to join. It helps me to keep to a daily gratitude practice.

Express Your Gratitude

Tell the people you care about what you appreciate about them. Not only will this make you feel good, but it will also strengthen your relationships. The power of a simple “thank you” can be quite incredible.

Focus On The Small Wins

Celebrate your accomplishments, no matter how big or small. This will help you build a sense of confidence and optimism.

Maybe you already practise gratitude on a daily basis. If so, I’d love to hear what your practice is. Why not drop me an email and let me know; hello@lizdoyle.net. And if you don’t, has this article inspired to start? Again, let me know.

A Message of Hope

Remember, it’s okay not to feel grateful all the time. Life can be messy and it’s perfectly normal to experience a range of emotions. But when you’re feeling down, try to give gratitude a chance. You might be surprised at the difference it can make. Even the smallest spark of appreciation can be a powerful source of strength and resilience in the face of adversity.

When we focus on what we’re thankful for, even in the midst of challenges, our outlook starts to shift. We start to see the beauty and abundance that surrounds us. Because it really does.

Remember, letting go and cultivating gratitude are not one-time events, but ongoing practices. The more we do them, the easier they become and the more joy and peace we experience in our lives.

I Have A Call To Action For You

I encourage you to take some time to really experience letting go and cultivating gratitude. By doing so, not only will you lift yourself up, you will lift others up. You will be creating a ripple effect of positivity in the world!

And this affirmation is something I live by:

Gratitude brings more to be grateful about. Today I am grateful
Louise Hay

I hope you found some inspiration in cultivating gratitude for the good in your life, the bad and maybe even the ugly.

It might be that although this is all very inspiring, you feel you need some deeper work to help you to truly love and accept yourself which you know is what is holding you back in life. If so, why not have a look at how you can work with me, here.

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Books That Changed My Life

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I’ve read a lot of books in my life, but there are a few that have had a profound impact on me. These books have changed my life! These books have helped me to heal, to grow, and to live a more fulfilling life – a happier life. I would like to list more but we need to start somewhere with the top 5.

I am sharing links for you to buy the books from Amazon but if you prefer to support the circular economy; this is a link for World of Books and you might be able to get a used book in excellent condition.

You Can Heal Your Life by Louise Hay

If you have read any of my previous blogs and checked out my website, you will know that Louise Hay was pivotal in completely changing my life around. I first listened to her on YouTube and it was as if she was speaking directly to me! Although this book was not the first one that introduced me to the power of positive thinking, it was the most insightful. It really introduced me to positive affirmations in a big way and led me to finding out more and to eventually training to become licensed to share Louise’s timeless teachings.

You Can Heal Your Life helped me to see that I was creating my own reality with my thoughts and beliefs. Once I started to change my thoughts, I really started to see positive changes in my life. That the power of loving yourself changes everything. You could say it’s the reason I became a Positive Change Coach.

Here is the link to buy the book from Amazon but you may find a copy from World of Books too (link above).

The Power Is Within You by Louise Hay

This book is a sequel to You Can Heal Your Life, and it goes even deeper into the power of the subconscious mind. Although I adored You Can Heal Your Life, I actually preferred The Power is Within You. It taught me how to identify and change the negative beliefs that were holding me back.

As I said, it goes even deeper into the power of positive thinking than You Can Heal Your Life. It teaches you how to use affirmations, visualisation, and other techniques to create the life you want. This book has helped me to stay positive and, and it has helped me to manifest many of the things I’ve wanted in life.

Here is the link to buy it from Amazon but you may find a copy from World of Books too.

Ask and It Is Given by Esther and Jerry Hicks

What can I say about Abraham Hicks!!! Another find on YouTube and I still go back to those videos when I need to remind myself that “things are always working out for me”! This book is all about the Law of Attraction, and it taught me how to use my thoughts to attract the things I want into my life. It was another game-changer for me, and it helped me to manifest many of my dreams.

This book showed me that I am responsible for my own thoughts and emotions, and that I can change my life by changing my thinking. It helped me to overcome many of the challenges I was facing at the time. I think Abraham Hicks deserves its own blog so I’ll be sharing more soon.

Here is the link to buy the book from Amazon but you may find a copy from World of Books too (link above).

Happy for No Reason by Marci Shimoff

This wonderful book is about the power of positive emotions, and it taught me how to cultivate a more joyful and optimistic outlook on life. It helped me to see that happiness is a choice, and that I can choose to be happy no matter what is going on in my life.

After reading the book, I then joined Your Year of Miracles where I learnt life is full of miracles even if we don’t always think so!

Here is the link to buy it from Amazon but you may find a copy from World of Books too.

Chillpreneur by Denise Duffield Thomas

So this is the last one in my top 5 books that changed my life. It is such an easy and fun read (and listen as I often also buy books on Audible) with lots of humour. The book is about how to create a successful business without burning yourself out. It taught me the importance of taking care of myself, both physically and mentally. It also helped me to set boundaries and to say no to things that were not a good fit for me.

After reading and listening to Chillpreneur, I started following Denise and eventually joined her Money Bootcamp which has turned out to be another life changing experience!

Here is the link to buy the book from Amazon but you may find a copy from World of Books too (link above).

These are just a few of the books that have changed my life. Don’t get me wrong, I still face challenges but I now have the tools and the presence within me to bring myself back to this moment and to be very gentle with myself as I charter those waters. I am really grateful to the authors who shared their wisdom with me, and I am so glad that I found these books when I did. They have helped me to become a happier, healthier, and more successful person.

I hope that you will check out these books if you are looking for some inspiration and guidance on your own journey. They may just change your life too.

What books have had a profound effect on your life? I would love to know ♥️

And if you would like to find out some more about working with me, follow this link and get in contact here to book in a time to have a confidential chat.

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Brené Brown: The Call to Courage

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Who is Brené Brown and what is The Call to Courage?

If you have read any of my previous blogs, then you will know that I deeply admire Brené Brown. Brené is a research professor at the University of Houston, and a leading expert on vulnerability, courage, shame, and empathy. Her TED Talk on the power of vulnerability has been viewed over 50 million times, and her books have sold millions of copies.

Last night I watched Brené Brown: The Call to Courage which is on Netflix here in the UK, and it left me so uplifted. Brené explores the importance of choosing courage over comfort in a world that is often defined by scarcity, fear, and uncertainty. She shared her often very funny but poignant personal stories, research findings, and insights from her work with leaders, organisations, and individuals around the world.

One of the key messages of the documentary is that courage is not the absence of fear, but the ability to move forward in spite of it and only by showing up with our vulnerability, can we be truly courageous. She argues that courage is essential for living a full and meaningful life. It allows us to connect with others, take risks, and achieve our goals.

The documentary went into a lot of detail with exploring the link between courage and vulnerability. Brené defines vulnerability as “uncertainty, exposure, and emotional risk.” Vulnerability is not weakness, but strength. It is the willingness to show up and be seen, even when we are afraid.

The Call to Courage is a timely and important documentary that challenges us to choose courage over comfort in our own lives. It is a reminder that we are all capable of great things, if we are willing to be vulnerable and open ourselves up to connection.

Here are some of my main key takeaways from The Call to Courage:

Courage is not the absence of fear, but the ability to move forward in spite of it.
Vulnerability is not weakness, but strength. It is the willingness to show up and be seen, even when we are afraid.
Shame is the fear of disconnection. It is the fear of not being good enough.
Empathy is the ability to connect with the feelings of another person. It is the ability to walk in someone else’s shoes.
Connection is the antidote to shame. It is the feeling of being seen, heard, and understood.

If you are looking for a film that will challenge you, inspire you, and help you live a more courageous life, then I highly recommend The Call to Courage.

And here are some of the lessons I learned from the documentary:

Courage is not something that we have or don’t have. It is a muscle that we can build through practice.
Vulnerability is not weakness. It is the strength to be open and authentic, even when we are afraid.
Shame is a universal emotion, but it doesn’t have to define us. We can overcome shame by cultivating courage and vulnerability.
Connection is the antidote to shame. When we feel connected to others, we feel less alone and less afraid.

In her work, Brené Brown has found that vulnerability is the only way to truly connect with others and experience joy, love, and belonging.

What is vulnerability?

Vulnerability is the willingness to show up and be seen, even when there is the risk of being hurt. It is the courage to be imperfect, to be honest, and to be open to feedback.

Why is vulnerability important?

Vulnerability is important because it is the foundation of all meaningful relationships. When we are vulnerable, we allow others to see us for who we really are, and this can create a deep sense of connection. Vulnerability also allows us to experience the full range of human emotions, both positive and negative.

What are the three elements of vulnerability?

Brené identifies three key elements of vulnerability – uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure.

Uncertainty: When we are vulnerable, we are opening ourselves up to the unknown. We don’t know how others will react to us, and this can be a scary feeling.
Risk: Vulnerability also involves risk. When we put ourselves out there, we are opening ourselves up to the possibility of getting hurt.
Emotional exposure: Vulnerability involves emotional exposure. When we are vulnerable, we are sharing our true feelings, and this can be a very exposing experience.

How can we be more vulnerable?

Leaning into vulnerability is not easy, but so worth it. Here are some ideas:

Start small: If you’re not used to being vulnerable, start by sharing small things with people you trust. This will help you build your confidence and get used to the feeling of being exposed.
Be mindful of your thoughts and feelings: When you’re feeling vulnerable, pay attention to your thoughts and feelings. What are you afraid of? What are you hoping for?
Practise self-compassion: When you make a mistake or get hurt, be kind to yourself. Remember that everyone makes mistakes, and that vulnerability is a part of being human.

The benefits of vulnerability

The benefits of vulnerability are many. When we are vulnerable, we can:

Experience deeper connections: When we open ourselves up to others, we can create deeper connections with them.
Experience more joy: Vulnerability allows us to experience the full range of human emotions, including joy.
Be more authentic: When we are vulnerable, we are being more authentic. We are showing our true selves to the world, and this can be a very freeing experience.
Be more resilient: When we experience vulnerability, we learn to be more resilient. We learn how to cope with difficult emotions and how to bounce back from setbacks.

Vulnerability is the foundation of all meaningful relationships, and it is the key to experiencing joy, love, and belonging. And isn’t that a wonderful thing?

If you’re looking to connect with others on a deeper level, or if you want to experience more joy in your life, I encourage you to embrace vulnerability and all that it entails.

Here are some additional resources that you may find helpful after watching The Call to Courage:

Brené Brown’s website: https://brenebrown.com
Brené Brown’s TED Talk which she talked at length about during the film:

And here are Brené Brown’s books:

Daring Greatly

Rising Strong

Braving the Wilderness

Atlas of the Heart

I highly recommend watching Brené Brown: The Call to Courage if you are interested in learning more about courage, vulnerability, and shame. It is an inspiring and thought-provoking documentary that challenges us all to live a more courageous life.

And to find out more about me, here is my Meet Liz Page!

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Are You Worthy?

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Or do you every feel unworthy? Do you tell yourself that you’re just not worthy or not deserving?

Such a big, sticky, messy subject – our feelings around worthiness…

Let’s go through this, step by step.

Feeling worthy is a state of mind in which you believe that you are valuable and deserving of good things. It is a sense of self-acceptance and self-love. When you feel worthy, you are more likely to take care of yourself, set and achieve goals, and build healthy relationships.

Maybe that can explain why we can subconsciously block what we want – because deep down, we just don’t think we’re worthy of it.

There are many things that can contribute to feeling unworthy.

These can include and of course are not exclusive:

Negative self-talk
Trauma or abuse
Low self-esteem
Depression or anxiety

This is an ongoing journey and now again, it still hits me and I need to gently and with a lot of self-compassion, bring myself back to those feelings of innate worthiness. It’s not always easy!!

I remember the first time it dawned on me and where part of my story came from. Because it all starts with self-awareness, otherwise, how can we change?

I was walking the dog one day…. and I was questioning myself (again…) about why I didn’t feel deserving. I had been cogitating this and wondering why saying to myself Louise Hay’s fab affirmation “I deserve the best and accept it now” just didn’t feel true for me…..

Obviously, what I do is to help women see that they are always good enough and deserve the best life has to give and I thought that if I don’t feel it how can I help them. But that’s another blog for another day 😂😂

Then I went back to my simple “I am worthy” and it hit me!!

Growing up as a child, every day at school and at mass each week, we would recite all these prayers and one line that would be repeated over and over again was “I am not worthy”.

Well blow me down with a feather – no wonder I had never felt worthy…. I had been saying it to myself for frigging years, almost my whole life.

So my new walking mantra whenever I feel slightly doubtful about myself or any situation for that matter is, guess what – yes….

“I AM WORTHY”

Say it with me…

It covers everything – that I am good enough and that I am worthy just because I exist…..

If you are struggling with feeling unworthy, there are things you can do to improve your self-worth in addition to the above walking mantra “I am worthy”.

Try any or all of these:

Challenge negative self-talk. When you catch yourself thinking negative things about yourself, challenge those thoughts. Ask yourself if they are really true (most of them are definitely not). If not, try to replace them with more positive thoughts.
Set realistic expectations. Don’t put too much pressure on yourself to be perfect. Everyone makes mistakes, and that’s okay. Learn to accept yourself for who you are.
Surround yourself with positive people. The people you spend time with have a big impact on your self-esteem. Make sure you are surrounding yourself with people who make you feel good about yourself. If this isn’t always possible then try to limit your time with them!
Take care of yourself. Make sure you are eating healthy, getting enough sleep, and moving your body regularly. Taking care of your physical health will help you feel better about yourself and your self-worth..
Forgive yourself. Everyone makes mistakes. If you’ve done something wrong, forgive yourself and try to move on. Holding on to guilt and shame will only make you feel worse.
Focus on your strengths. Everyone has strengths and weaknesses. Make a list of your strengths and focus on developing them. When you focus on your strengths, you’ll feel more confident and worthy.
Do things that make you happy. When you do things that make you happy, you’ll feel better about yourself. Make time for activities that you enjoy, such as spending time with the people you love, pursuing hobbies, or giving back to your local community.
Seek professional help. If you’re struggling to feel worthy on your own, don’t be afraid to seek professional help. A therapist or a coach can help you identify the root of your low self-worth so that you can let them go and develop new beliefs about yourself.

The most important thing to remember is that it takes time and and some effort to build a strong sense of self-worth. But it’s SO worth it (pardon the pun 🤪). When you feel worthy, you’ll live a happier, healthier, and more fulfilling life but it can take small steps to get there.

Here is a link to one of my previous blogs with some very wise words from Brené Brown“

You were born worthy of love and belonging

Brené Brown – Worthiness and Shame

And if you want to go in even deeper, here’s a super short video on worthiness I shared a while ago:

Trust your worthiness

Remember, you are worthy simply because you exist. You are worthy of love, respect, and happiness. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise, and that includes you!

If you’d like to find out how you can work with me to develop that deep sense of self-worth, why not book in a call with me so we can see if this healing work is for you? Here’s the link

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Spring… New Beginnings…

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Spring is such a beautiful time of rebirth and new beginnings isn’t it? 🌸

It’s a perfect opportunity to move our energy inwards and reflect rather than having our attention on things outside of ourselves. We can pause and take a little time to maybe let go of any patterns that really don’t serve us any more.

That all starts with awareness which is my favourite word because what happens on the other side of awareness? Yes, MAGIC 🧙‍♀️✨

And how about a little spring clean? 🧹

Mentally, emotionally, physically and energetically…

It’s not surprising that life is feeling pretty much like hard work right now. After over 3 months of cold, windy and rainy weather since Christmas, it can feel as if this is the first time you’ve come up for air.

Maybe, you’re craving a change? A change in your work, relationships, lifestyle, or how you take care of yourself? New beginnings?

I’m going to start off by sharing some ideas to spring clean your energy centres (the chakras). Once we spring clean our souls, then everything else falls into place. I’m also going to give you a few suggestions about making changes in the area of work if that is proving to be a bit of struggle at the moment.

These early weeks of Spring are a time for balance, rebirth, and rejuvenation. So, anything you do right now to seek balance in your life will be enhanced by this energy.

Working in alignment with nature’s vibrations boosts your spiritual efforts, and this time of reawakening is ripe for clearing and balancing your chakras and energy field. A perfect time for new beginnings…

What are the Chakras?

Your chakras are the invisible but vital energy centres that are designed to move energy between your personal field and the universal field, and, when spinning correctly and easily, these chakras enable you to replenish your energy and restore your health. Sounds good so far…

The thing is, all kinds of trauma can affect our chakras where they can become blocked or even overactive. But, we can unblock our chakras and balance them so they are working in perfect alignment.

Balanced Chakras

Blockages in your chakras are caused by traumas that aren’t fully released – emotional build-up that can be very recent or 20 or even 50 years old.

Here are 7 Ideas For Balancing And Recharging Your Chakras – a whistle stop tour!

The First (Root) Chakra

is all about grounding and feeling safe. If you can, try to take a barefoot walk in the grass or on a beach to reconnect to Mother Earth. I find it’s still too cold so I like to touch a tree with my bare hands for about 5 minutes. ❤️

Your Second (Sacral) Chakra

governs how you experience pleasure, and a common issue for this chakra is shame. Water is cleansing and so healing for the sacral chakra. Can you immerse yourself in water for twenty minutes? At the swimming pool or maybe a special bath with epsom salts and your favourite essential oils. 🧡

The Third (Solar Plexus) Chakra

is where your will and self-esteem is situated – your personal power. Wearing a vibrant yellow can help charge this chakra as can physical movement. A brisk walk outside outside in the morning sun or in the evening before sunset, can help to recharge this chakra. Here is a lovely affirmation to unblock the solar plexus too; “I am courageous. I am whole. I stand in my power”. 💛

Your Fourth Chakra is the Heart Chakra

and when it’s open, you can give and receive love easily and in a healthy way. Treating yourself how you’d love to be treated (maybe buying yourself some flowers) will help to balance the heart chakra. Also, giving and receiving hugs – you can always give yourself a loving hug too. 💚

The Fifth (Throat) Chakra

is about speaking your truth, choosing to express the real you. Journaling with total honesty can clear and charge the throat chakra and help process old traumas. Journaling is a major part of energy healing and is so powerful as I have been finding out lately! 💙

Our Sixth Chakra, The “Third Eye”

is where your higher intellect and clarity of vision reside. Daily meditation (another essential part of energy healing) helps to awaken this chakra so you can increase your intuition and inner wisdom. Listen to your spirit and recognise how that feels. As you practise, you’ll find it easier and easier to connect with the energy from your Third Eye. 💜

An Open Seventh (Crown) Chakra

is connected to the beauty you can see in the world around you. Unblock this chakra, again with a meditation practice and connecting with nature. Here you can ask your higher self for guidance. 🤍

🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸

Now To Spring Clean Your Work Life

Take just a little bit of time to clean out your desk and your email inbox (I love doing that from time to time) – the impact of this can be huge. It creates so much mental space.

How about supporting a junior member of staff if you work as an employee? If you’re self employed, maybe find someone who has just started out in your field, so you can mentor them. It’s very rewarding to coach others and it will remind you what you like about your job or business.

Do you want to make a BIG change? Then give your CV to a couple of people you trust and respect for their comments on improving it. This means that when the right job comes up, you’re straight on the case. The same can be done if you’re a business owner with your business plan so they can make suggestions on what direction your business should be going.

I’d love to hear how you’re welcoming in the long waited for Spring. Get in contact here.

And to close my blog today, an affirmation from Louise Hay that can help boost your third eye and crown chakras!

“I trust the Universe to help me see the good in everything and in everyone.”

Much love

Liz 💌

P.S. If you want my help to work on your mindset and self-love and self-worth here’s how I can help:

♥️ Follow me and let me know the limiting beliefs sabotaging your life right now – follow this link

♥️ Here’s my page for my 21 Days To Letting Go Of The Weight digital course

♥️ Subscribe to my YouTube channel and never miss a video for inspiration and meditations – follow this link.

♥️And if you feel ready to make a commitment to working with me, energetically and financially and are ready to see if we could be a good fit, book in a call here

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How to Be Happy!

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Oh what a big ask!. How to be happy! Life can really knock you down sometimes, leaving you feeling overwhelmed, depressed, anxious or challenged. Or all 4!!

By asking ourselves questions about our thoughts and feelings, we can start to become aware and understand what’s going on under the surface.

Because the magic always happens on the other side of awareness.

Here are 8 questions to ask yourself to welcome back the happiness and contentment into your life – so you can live the life you want and deserve:

1. What is life telling me here?

Yes, life can be so hard sometimes – complex and even cruel. But it’s good to remind ourselves that life is always working out for us. It’s not against us. Whatever is going on, we are growing and becoming more aware. We are never being punished. If we can see each moment as a learning opportunity, things can change around very quickly.

2. What am I afraid of?

Fear is such a powerful emotion – back in the day, when we were being chased by sabre toothed tigers, we needed to run for our lives – fight or flight and all that. Nowadays, society and the media in general, can cause us to live in constant fear of what might happen. And then we are living in a constant fight or flight response mode. Fear might freeze us – we take no action at all. If you feel stuck, unsure what to do next, ask yourself, what am I afraid of? What would I do if I wasn’t so full of fear? You might be amazed at the answer.

3. How can I be grateful?

Happy people don’t have more than others. They just make the most of every situation and of what they have. I know I have often taken things for granted but my gratitude practice has changed how I perceive life. When you can appreciate the gifts that you have in your life, then this gratitude can be a happiness booster!!! When we feel truly grateful, we can become happier. Honest!

4. Who needs my forgiveness?

I know I bang on about forgiveness but by forgiving, you set yourself free and open yourself up to a happier life. No, I don’t mean you have to forget what was done or condone it but by holding onto the hurt that was done to you, you are just keeping yourself in that dark place. Forgiving others and yourself gives you the freedom to move on with your life and make room for wonderful new experiences.

5. Do I want to be right or do I want to be happy?

If there is conflict within a relationship, this can cause unease in our minds and our bodies. It is possible to let go of the need to be right all the time so that the relationship can thrive.

6. What’s my calling?

When we are unhappy or depressed we can often become focused solely on ourselves. We can get so much happiness from helping others. By giving to others in some way, helps you feel less lonely and just easier with life. You have some wonderful talents that can help the world.

7. What makes me smile or even laugh?

Smiling is so easy and affects our mood even when we don’t feel like it – research backs this up. Smiling can release tension in the body and of course, the mind.

8. What are my dreams?

Dreams and desires come from the heart. They reflect your deepest values and say who you are. Don’t give up on your dreams – daydreaming is fun and it opens you up to your true potential. Imagine what difference you want to make to the world. When we giving up on our dreams and deepest desires, we give up on life.

Is there one of these questions that really speaks to you? Or maybe more than one that relates to your life at the moment? Take time pondering them and go deeper as the answers will come. Maybe not immediately, but they will come.

To dive in deeper about what it means to be happy, here is my blog all about it!

Love Yourself Advent Calendar

Another way I have found to feel happier is to love myself more (do you like what I’ve done here 😉). So, I am putting together a Love Yourself Advent Calendar to help you love yourself all the way up to Christmas. You’ve then got it to remind yourself way into the New Year too.

The Advent Calendar will be a mixture of meditations, live videos and printables to bring more self-love into your life, especially at this time of year. Because, as we all know, when we love ourselves more and more, we can love others more and more.

How does this little mini self-love adventure work, I hear you ask:

Join me in my private FB group, if you’re not in the group already, for daily updates

Follow along every day or just drop in when you want…

Invite someone to join you by inviting them to the group 😊

Share your experience with the community

Connect with me on Instagram

A beautiful affirmation to remind us to be happy as much as we can!

My happy thoughts help create my healthy body.
Louise Hay

Much love and gratitude to you as always

Liz xx ♥️

P.S If you’d like to find out more about my 1 to 1 online coaching sessions or my online course to let go of the weight, book a confidential call with me here.

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Move on From Domestic Abuse

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October was first declared as National Domestic Violence Awareness Month in 1989. It’s a month focused on continuing to raise awareness of domestic abuse, giving a voice to its victims, and helping them move on from domestic abuse.

Yep, I know we know that Domestic Violence exists BUT how much are we really aware of the signs from friends and other loved ones who might be suffering in silence.

Silence because they are scared, frightened of what might happen if their dirty secret is revealed. What might happen to them and/or their children?

We can so easily look away when any subject that might be uncomfortable rears its ugly head – I know I do sometimes. I like to to focus on the positive things in life.

Of course I do! I’m a Positive Change Coach for f**k’s sake. And yes it does really really help.

However, sometimes, we have to face the facts of what’s going on and the more we are aware, the more we can help others or ourselves if we are the victims.

Every victim of domestic violence has a different, terrible story but some of the underlying details can be quite similar.

The thing is, she can feel like she’s the only person in the world going through it. I know men and gender fluids can also be victims BUT the vast majority of victims are women and often, their children because of what they witness and endure themselves.

I want these women to feel that they are seen, they are heard and acknowledged.

So, I’m talking Domestic Violence Awareness Month and possibly some new ideas of how women can move on from domestic abuse.

If you or anyone you know is in danger or just know it’s time to get out or get that person out, I am sharing some emergency and advice telephone numbers below.

I am spiritual but before I really understood the Law of Attraction or had immersed myself in the world of Louise Hay, I just trusted. I did what I had to do but once everything was set in motion, I just knew we were going to be alright.

It wasn’t all plain sailing by any means but when I look back to who I was and to the person I am now, I am the same person but oh so different. I wish the same for you or the woman out there that you might know who is living this living nightmare.

Whilst it’s so important to stand up to any abusive behaviour, what I would like to see is a change in the whole perspective.

This can be through education but I truly believe that if I had loved myself more, I wouldn’t have attracted someone like this person into my life in the first place.

Thankfully, I have been in such a good place for a long time now that I no longer regret it as it has made me who I am now and I really love that.

Also, if the abuser had loved himself more, then they would never have been in such a terrible place that they would get pleasure from making another human being suffer in any way.

After all, as Louise Hay said, we are all victims of victims.

Rather than just fighting domestic abuse, I’d love us to focus on a world where all humans respect and love each other. Where we accept each others’ differences and seek to heal our own mental wounds rather than lash out and make others hurt over and over again.

I know, it feels like a big ask but has the anti-war movement or fight against poverty really worked?

I’d rather put my attention on a peaceful and loving world.

That is why I’m sharing this meditation – this is a meditation or even visualisation that can help women heal from the trauma as victims of domestic abuse – helping them move on from domestic abuse.

This could be happening right now, it could be recent or if they are still living with the trauma of past abuse and they are fearful of repeating the same pattern.

Within this meditation, I also focus on welcoming in a world where there is only love.

A big part of Louise Hay’s work involves meditations.

Here are a few science-based benefits of meditation

Reduces stress. Stress reduction is one of the most common reasons people try meditation. …
Controls anxiety. …
Promotes emotional health. …
Enhances self-awareness. …
Lengthens attention span. …
May reduce age-related memory loss. …
May help fight addictions.

Anne Blythe, the founder of Betrayal Trauma Recovery said the following:

“ Many women who experience the trauma of abuse find themselves having difficulty processing that trauma and pain.

Meditation can help provide clarity and offer space for that processing to happen safely. “

There is evidence that where 1% of the population started meditating, the indicators of a better quality of life for all increased.

For example, there was less crime recorded.

If we are all connected, as I believe, then when many people are meditating and becoming more peaceful, that would clearly send out waves of peace and love and understanding.

In the The New Science of Life by Rupert Sheldrake, he suggests there is a “morphogenic field” that contains all the thoughts there are.

I would call this the universe, but he is a scientist!

Sheldrake believes that as we put more thoughts of peace into this field, it will create more peace on the planet.

So, if we think in terms of solutions rather than problems, we assist the solutions needed for helping our planet.

For example, if you focus on the “problems” of pollution or poverty, the problem is strengthened.

If you focus on knowing that there are solutions, you are putting energy into finding the solution.

Have you ever heard the phrase – what we resist persists?

I think it’s so true…

Don’t think of a pink elephant… What are you thinking of now?

So, in your personal life and our collective life, if you continue to complain and focus about a situation, the energy persists to continue the problem.

If you are focused on the energy of a solution, even though you may have no idea what that solution is, you are giving energy to the solution.

When Louise Hay heard of any crises in the world, she immediately surrounded the whole situation with white light.

She sent love and healing energy to everyone connected with it, including whoever may have done the damage.

Rage and fear won’t heal anything.

Hatred begets hatred.

An “eye-for-eye” philosophy makes everyone blind.

Of course, she seldom read newspapers or watched the news.

This is what she said on the subject:

“ I refuse to clutter my mind with most media turbulence.

The media is good at stirring up our emotions and selling fear. 

If you read a newspaper from cover to cover every day, you’ll live in fear. 

They want you to buy a new paper each day to find out what to be afraid of that day. 

It’s the same with the television news. 

If you want to sleep poorly, watch the late-night news just before you go to sleep.”

So, let’s remember that we each live under the law of our own consciousness.

You are a beautiful, wonderful creation of the universe.

Your strength comes from your connection to the universe.

Let’s say, every time the thought of war or conflicts of any kind come to mind, and especially domestic violence, say with conviction:

THE WORLD IS BEING MADE A SAFE PLACE FOR ME, AND I AM CONTRIBUTING TO THAT SAFETY.
Louise Hay

The opening line of a song says: ” Let there be peace on earth, and let it begin with me. ”

We can make a difference.

Use your powerful mind to help create the world you want to live in.

Here is the link for the meditation and visualisation which can be listened to as many times as needed and of course, it can be shared with others who will benefit. It may help you to move on from the domestic abuse.

Meditation for Victims of Domestic Violence

If this feels all too familiar, life can be so so difficult for you and if children are involved, of course, it can be even worse. It could be like you’re living a life of torture every day.

Reach out – there are organisations that you can speak to if you can’t talk to anyone close. Here are some websites and numbers:

Domestic Abuse National helplines

Domestic Violence Assist

Specialises in assistance to obtain emergency injunctions from being further abused.

Phone: 0800 195 8699

National Centre for Domestic Violence

Specialises in assistance to get emergency injunctions from being further abused.

Phone: 0800 970 2070

Women’s Aid Domestic Violence Helpline

Free 24-hour national helpline run by Women’s Aid and Refuge.

Phone: 0808 2000 247

Hourglass

The Hourglass confidential helpline provides information and support to anyone concerned about harm, abuse or exploitation of an older person.

Phone: 0808 808 8141

Men’s Advice Line

Confidential helpline for male victims of domestic abuse.

Phone: 0808 801 0327

National LGBT Domestic Abuse Helpline

Emotional and practical support for LGBT+ people.

Phone: 0800 999 5428

National Stalking Helpline

Guidance on the law, how to report stalking, gathering evidence, staying safe and reducing the risk.

Phone: 0808 802 0300

Victim Support

Free and confidential help to victims of crime, witnesses, their family and friends.

Phone: 0808 1689 111

You are never alone.

Maybe you have moved on from an emotionally, sexually and/or physically abusive relationship but you are very much feeling the trauma in your body. It could be that you are worried about repeating those patterns.

By working with me over my 6 Love Yourself Coaching sessions, you can let go of the past for good and move on from domestic abuse.

You can write a new story for yourself AND have real hope and optimism for the future – here is a link to my contact page where you can book in a call to discuss how I may be able to help.

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Taking Time Out For You

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Text - Love is the great miracle cure. Loving ourselves works miracles in our lives. Louise Hay. Liz Doyle the positive change coach. This shows how taking time out is loving myself.

This summer, I decided to take a long old break – time out for me. I spent more than 2 months in Ireland and what a time I had!! Making the huge decision (which didn’t feel huge at all once I was there) to hold on to the house that my mum left me many years ago. I also spent lots of time with family and visitors – it was such a delight and much needed. The house mum (and dad but it was definitely her dream) had built back in the 70’s means a lot to us but not just the house. She was born in the house in the next field and it’s almost has a spiritual resonance.

The house been rented out for a long time and this year was decision time. Keep it and renovate it for Airbnb rental and family time and fun or let it go with love.

And as I said, we’re keeping it. The house is so unique – it’s in such a quiet and private spot and yet 15 minutes from Clonakilty, 50 minutes from Cork Airport and Kinsale but above all, 20 minutes from the beach and the Wild Atlantic Way.

Yes it’s trapped in the 70’s but with some ideas, inspiration and a load of cash, it can be returned to its former glory but very much with 2020s comforts and vibe (keeping some features like the pink downstairs loo).

Ideas will be so welcome as we start this journey so feel free to get in touch!

But what happens when we take that break?

But I digress! I also spent the time in Ireland reflecting on what is important to me and what I really want. I’ve realised the older I’m getting, the more that matters – what matters to me, nobody else but me. But it’s still a tricky one to be honest as I have spent so many years putting others first!!! Does that resonate?

But the longer I have left writing a blog, sending out my love letter, or posting on social media etc, it has made me question what my contribution is. I had become a bit jaded of marketing my business so the break has been such a sweet relief but it now feels so hard to jump or even ease myself back in. If you have your own business, this might resonate with you?

If you have struggled recently, with relationships, with your weight, your business/job, feelings of not being good enough, or life in general, please remember you are never alone – we all struggle and that’s also okay ♥️

There is no question that I am continuing my work as I truly love showing women how they can leave behind past trauma and a lack of self-love and move into a beautiful relationship with themselves, and therefore others. It’s so much part of who I am – sharing Louise Hay’s teachings in a way that is aligned to me.

How I Help Women During My Online Coaching Sessions

This is what we work on:

How our thoughts and beliefs shape our lives
Awareness of negative thoughts and how to change them
Family patterns and how they affect our lives and choices
Healing the child within us
Dealing with difficult emotions
Forgiving ourselves and others
Unlocking a new future by learning to love ourselves and others
Creating healthy relationships
Freeing ourselves from damaging patterns and behaviour
Finding a sense of purpose
Writing a new story for our lives

Find out more about how you can work with me here

BUT, there are so many personal development programmes out there promising to fix your problems and giving you all the answers. We don’t need fixing AND we have the answers inside of us. Oh, AND we’re never done with this work.

By developing such a strong sense of self love, awareness and inner trust, we can learn to KNOW that we have everything we need inside of us.

My own healing journey has shifted to self acceptance and trust – and what a journey!

So here I am – vulnerable and full of self compassion and I am asking you to do the same for you.

Be your unapologetic, beautiful self.

Whole.

Open hearted.

Fear is such an obstacle to growth and I continue to dip in and out of fear.

Do we ever escape it?

But I’m reminding myself that it’s easier to drop into the waves and trust myself to float when I don’t struggle against them.

I’m sure I have shared this beautiful affirmation from Louise Hay before but I don’t think we can ever be reminded too many times that loving ourselves is the most important thing we can do for ourselves:

“Love is the great miracle cure. Loving ourselves works miracles in our lives”
Louise Hay

Are you afraid to take a break?

If fear of the future or even taking that time out make you feel anxious, or maybe feelings of anxiety seem to be running the show, this link for my root chakra meditation can help.

Meditation is a wonderful act of self love. We will be taking a journey through the chakras to get in touch with the essence of who we are. So subscribe to my Youtube channel so you don’t miss out on more videos and meditations.

The word Chakra is a Sanksrit word, meaning “wheel” or “circle”, and it refers to the individual circular spinning wheels of energy located throughout the body. The Chakra System is a complex network of energy channels connecting these wheels and is mapped throughout the whole body.

The root chakra meditation will help you feel grounded. It will remind you that you are always safe and it’s safe to make the positive changes that you want in your life.

You just need a few minutes to take some time for yourself and sit or lie down quietly . So, of course, do not drive nor use any machinery when listening to the meditation.

Would you like to receive my regular love letters which will inspire, support and uplift you? Yes? Then sign up for my 7 Simple Morning Rituals for a Beautiful Day ☀️🌈 here and you will get to receive the love letter every week or two.

I’d love to hear from you – let me know if you found this blog interesting or helpful. Is taking time out for you important to you?

#louisehay #timeout #timetorelax #selfcompassion

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Calling All High Achievers

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High Achievers. An image of a woman pointing to the centre of a target board. And an image of Liz Doyle the positive change coach

So many of my clients are or have been high achievers in their careers. When they come to me, they talk with pride about what they do within their work BUT there is a feeling of needing to do more and more. They often say that they are always striving to prove themselves and so that means they have to do more – be more.

High Achievers, I have a few questions for you..

If your job title or position within your organisation was taken away, would you feel you were good enough? 🤔

If you weren’t earning the salary or making the money you are making, would you feel good enough? 🤔

If these outward signs of achievement were stripped from you, who would you be? 🤔

I am not saying that working to make more money or career advancement doesn’t matter but it isn’t who we are. It is not solely why we are here.

I think we can so easily lose sight of who we truly are and I think that’s why so women want to work with me. They want to come back to that person again. They want to know their worth and know they are always good enough, without having to prove it to others or themselves.

No validation needed…

If you feel you might be a high functioning, high (or maybe over) achiever, then the following might resonate with you:

You’re hardworking (obvs) but you often find yourself overthinking and overanalysing what others say to you 😳
You’re feeling overwhelmed and burnt out because you’re so detail oriented and a perfectionist 😳
You’re ambitious which leads you to not honouring your boundaries and not being able to say no 😳
You’re organised and well prepared and sometimes wonder if you have a deep need to be busy all the time to obtain approval 😳
On the outside you appear calm but on the inside you have unrealistic expectations of yourself and others 😳
Although it would appear you do well under pressure, the reality is you’re busy people pleasing, have a deep fear of failure and can be full of self-doubt 😳

I know this looks like a lot but MAGIC always happens on the other side of AWARENESS.

These patterns in our lives all start in our childhood so by going back and just observing where these core limiting beliefs came from can be so powerful. By doing this, we can start to unravel these old stories and negative messages to gently change our lives so that we can truly love who we are. The ripple effect of all of this can have such a profound on everyone around us too.

You deserve the best and you are always worthy. Just remind yourself of that.

Fancy a confidential chat about what I do? Maybe go to my Work With Me Page first?

This link will give you access to my diary so you can book in a call with me.

So high achievers, hands up 🙋🏻‍♀️🙋🏻‍♀️🙋🏻‍♀️

Or do you know some high achievers or over achievers? Maybe share this blog with them…

Or maybe you used to be a higher achiever and you’ve moved beyond always having to do more? I would love to know.

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Workplace Bullying

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Have you ever experienced workplace bullying?

I had such an extraordinary session with my client recently where we looked at her blocks around her work life and also prosperity. In fact, the same session with another client, last week, was also really insightful. I am seeing a real pattern with a lot of my clients where they have experienced workplace bullying. This has normally been from their upline manager and their lives have been made so difficult that they felt, at the time, they had no choice but to leave. 😢

In a couple of cases, clients decided to start to work for themselves as they couldn’t face experiencing such potentially toxic and damaging treatment again.

The effect that this bullying has had on them has been so bad that they were physically unwell and psychologically traumatised for months and months afterwards. The long term effects can’t really be quantified.

By working with me, they have been able to let go of so much of the guilt and shame as well as self-blame around the whole situation or maybe situations if they encountered more than one bully.

We have been able to start to forgive the people involved and see where so many patterns have come from. To break those patterns is such a rewarding exercise.

I shared a post on LinkedIn (follow this link) which got such interesting feedback and here are what some women said:

“When I read about people’s heartache and leaving good jobs on numerous occasions, turning job offers down for more favourable environments, being able to talk about it openly and honestly on LinkedIn and it makes me feel thoughtful and interested when I think about all the children and all the young people in education and in schools that do not have this luxury and are left suffering, many of them feeling that they have only one way to escape from the bully, suffering trauma, unable to gain an education.”

My response; ” But I also wonder if us adults feel that we can speak up. From my clients’, friends’ and even from people commenting on this post’s experiences, it would seem they felt unable to speak up. They feel that the only option is to leave which is really very sad. The more we talk about it, the more we might see some changes take place. ”

Another said; ” Are the adults who are bullied in the workplace, the children and young people who was bullied in school?

I cannot imagine if one sailed through the education system without being bullied, to then come up against a bully in the workplace must be an overwhelming shock to one’s system.

On the other hand, I can imagine children and young people bullied in school and also bullied in the workplace, given they carry trauma from the past, unsure of what constructive criticism is, and on high alert for a repeat of what happened to them in school to happen again in the workplace, and many bullies will sense this.

My response; ” Your observation is quite similar to what I have found with some clients. It may have been bullying at school or from a parent/care giver and often, if we don’t deal with these patterns they can repeat themselves again and again in one way or another. “

S said; ” I seem to be a bit of a target. In fact, after the last time I left a workplace because of a bully, I swore I’d never go back to being employed in a workplace. Nearly 10 years on and I’m up for a job where I would have to go in and work with others. I’m almost inclined to turn it down even though I know I’ve got lots to offer because I’m afraid of what will happen. “

M’s comment; ” I have been bullied 3 times in the workplace, and left each time, I left good jobs. I run away from trouble.

When my Mother was dying of cancer one woman who was very controlling & opinionated upped her game and tried to put me under pressure. She manipulated other colleagues too. When Mum passed I had nothing left to give & left a job I loved. HR was dreadful, useless and my Manager was worse. I find that in my case other women’s insecurities played out and it manifested in their bullying nature. “

H commented; ” To be honest, the only way I’ve ever overcome workplace bullying was to leave! It’s so sad to think that there are so many people in jobs who feel they NEED to leave for their own mental health due to others poor behaviour.

I’ve left 2 jobs my my working life due to bullying, and at the time I thought leaving because of others, or because the company wouldn’t listen or even BELIEVE you, seems like the worst thing. But in hindsight I’ve learnt so much about working relationships and people skills that I know do consider it a blessing. “

Can you see a pattern with all of these comments? More needs to be done but looking back at the messages we received as children, at school and at home, can help us so much in interrupting these patterns.

After all of this response, I thought it would be really helpful to share this video which is an exercise I share with my clients. It’s very quick but can make a huge difference in lots of, potentially, challenging situations. Of course, this is another exercise originally shared by Louise Hay.

Blessing With Love by Louise Hay

If you have experienced workplace bullying, how bad was it and how did you overcome it? 💚

If you are seeing a pattern here and would like to break it, why not have a look at how I can help you here, and book in a chat with me, following this link.

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