Louise Hay Archives - Page 2 of 6

Move on From Domestic Abuse

October was first declared as National Domestic Violence Awareness Month in 1989. It’s a month focused on continuing to raise awareness of domestic abuse, giving a voice to its victims, and helping them move on from domestic abuse.

Yep, I know we know that Domestic Violence exists BUT how much are we really aware of the signs from friends and other loved ones who might be suffering in silence.

Silence because they are scared, frightened of what might happen if their dirty secret is revealed. What might happen to them and/or their children?

We can so easily look away when any subject that might be uncomfortable rears its ugly head – I know I do sometimes. I like to to focus on the positive things in life.

Of course I do! I’m a Positive Change Coach for f**k’s sake. And yes it does really really help.

However, sometimes, we have to face the facts of what’s going on and the more we are aware, the more we can help others or ourselves if we are the victims.

Every victim of domestic violence has a different, terrible story but some of the underlying details can be quite similar.

The thing is, she can feel like she’s the only person in the world going through it. I know men and gender fluids can also be victims BUT the vast majority of victims are women and often, their children because of what they witness and endure themselves.

I want these women to feel that they are seen, they are heard and acknowledged.

So, I’m talking Domestic Violence Awareness Month and possibly some new ideas of how women can move on from domestic abuse.

If you or anyone you know is in danger or just know it’s time to get out or get that person out, I am sharing some emergency and advice telephone numbers below.

I am spiritual but before I really understood the Law of Attraction or had immersed myself in the world of Louise Hay, I just trusted. I did what I had to do but once everything was set in motion, I just knew we were going to be alright.

It wasn’t all plain sailing by any means but when I look back to who I was and to the person I am now, I am the same person but oh so different. I wish the same for you or the woman out there that you might know who is living this living nightmare.

Whilst it’s so important to stand up to any abusive behaviour, what I would like to see is a change in the whole perspective.

This can be through education but I truly believe that if I had loved myself more, I wouldn’t have attracted someone like this person into my life in the first place.

Thankfully, I have been in such a good place for a long time now that I no longer regret it as it has made me who I am now and I really love that.

Also, if the abuser had loved himself more, then they would never have been in such a terrible place that they would get pleasure from making another human being suffer in any way.

After all, as Louise Hay said, we are all victims of victims.

Rather than just fighting domestic abuse, I’d love us to focus on a world where all humans respect and love each other. Where we accept each others’ differences and seek to heal our own mental wounds rather than lash out and make others hurt over and over again.

I know, it feels like a big ask but has the anti-war movement or fight against poverty really worked?

I’d rather put my attention on a peaceful and loving world.

That is why I’m sharing this meditation – this is a meditation or even visualisation that can help women heal from the trauma as victims of domestic abuse – helping them move on from domestic abuse.

This could be happening right now, it could be recent or if they are still living with the trauma of past abuse and they are fearful of repeating the same pattern.

Within this meditation, I also focus on welcoming in a world where there is only love.

A big part of Louise Hay’s work involves meditations.

Here are a few science-based benefits of meditation

Reduces stress. Stress reduction is one of the most common reasons people try meditation. …
Controls anxiety. …
Promotes emotional health. …
Enhances self-awareness. …
Lengthens attention span. …
May reduce age-related memory loss. …
May help fight addictions.

Anne Blythe, the founder of Betrayal Trauma Recovery said the following:

“ Many women who experience the trauma of abuse find themselves having difficulty processing that trauma and pain.

Meditation can help provide clarity and offer space for that processing to happen safely. “

There is evidence that where 1% of the population started meditating, the indicators of a better quality of life for all increased.

For example, there was less crime recorded.

If we are all connected, as I believe, then when many people are meditating and becoming more peaceful, that would clearly send out waves of peace and love and understanding.

In the The New Science of Life by Rupert Sheldrake, he suggests there is a “morphogenic field” that contains all the thoughts there are.

I would call this the universe, but he is a scientist!

Sheldrake believes that as we put more thoughts of peace into this field, it will create more peace on the planet.

So, if we think in terms of solutions rather than problems, we assist the solutions needed for helping our planet.

For example, if you focus on the “problems” of pollution or poverty, the problem is strengthened.

If you focus on knowing that there are solutions, you are putting energy into finding the solution.

Have you ever heard the phrase – what we resist persists?

I think it’s so true…

Don’t think of a pink elephant… What are you thinking of now?

So, in your personal life and our collective life, if you continue to complain and focus about a situation, the energy persists to continue the problem.

If you are focused on the energy of a solution, even though you may have no idea what that solution is, you are giving energy to the solution.

When Louise Hay heard of any crises in the world, she immediately surrounded the whole situation with white light.

She sent love and healing energy to everyone connected with it, including whoever may have done the damage.

Rage and fear won’t heal anything.

Hatred begets hatred.

An “eye-for-eye” philosophy makes everyone blind.

Of course, she seldom read newspapers or watched the news.

This is what she said on the subject:

“ I refuse to clutter my mind with most media turbulence.

The media is good at stirring up our emotions and selling fear. 

If you read a newspaper from cover to cover every day, you’ll live in fear. 

They want you to buy a new paper each day to find out what to be afraid of that day. 

It’s the same with the television news. 

If you want to sleep poorly, watch the late-night news just before you go to sleep.”

So, let’s remember that we each live under the law of our own consciousness.

You are a beautiful, wonderful creation of the universe.

Your strength comes from your connection to the universe.

Let’s say, every time the thought of war or conflicts of any kind come to mind, and especially domestic violence, say with conviction:

THE WORLD IS BEING MADE A SAFE PLACE FOR ME, AND I AM CONTRIBUTING TO THAT SAFETY.
Louise Hay

The opening line of a song says: ” Let there be peace on earth, and let it begin with me. ”

We can make a difference.

Use your powerful mind to help create the world you want to live in.

Here is the link for the meditation and visualisation which can be listened to as many times as needed and of course, it can be shared with others who will benefit. It may help you to move on from the domestic abuse.

Meditation for Victims of Domestic Violence

If this feels all too familiar, life can be so so difficult for you and if children are involved, of course, it can be even worse. It could be like you’re living a life of torture every day.

Reach out – there are organisations that you can speak to if you can’t talk to anyone close. Here are some websites and numbers:

Domestic Abuse National helplines

Domestic Violence Assist

Specialises in assistance to obtain emergency injunctions from being further abused.

Phone: 0800 195 8699

National Centre for Domestic Violence

Specialises in assistance to get emergency injunctions from being further abused.

Phone: 0800 970 2070

Women’s Aid Domestic Violence Helpline

Free 24-hour national helpline run by Women’s Aid and Refuge.

Phone: 0808 2000 247

Hourglass

The Hourglass confidential helpline provides information and support to anyone concerned about harm, abuse or exploitation of an older person.

Phone: 0808 808 8141

Men’s Advice Line

Confidential helpline for male victims of domestic abuse.

Phone: 0808 801 0327

National LGBT Domestic Abuse Helpline

Emotional and practical support for LGBT+ people.

Phone: 0800 999 5428

National Stalking Helpline

Guidance on the law, how to report stalking, gathering evidence, staying safe and reducing the risk.

Phone: 0808 802 0300

Victim Support

Free and confidential help to victims of crime, witnesses, their family and friends.

Phone: 0808 1689 111

You are never alone.

Maybe you have moved on from an emotionally, sexually and/or physically abusive relationship but you are very much feeling the trauma in your body. It could be that you are worried about repeating those patterns.

By working with me over my 6 Love Yourself Coaching sessions, you can let go of the past for good and move on from domestic abuse.

You can write a new story for yourself AND have real hope and optimism for the future – here is a link to my contact page where you can book in a call to discuss how I may be able to help.

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Taking Time Out For You

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Text - Love is the great miracle cure. Loving ourselves works miracles in our lives. Louise Hay. Liz Doyle the positive change coach. This shows how taking time out is loving myself.

This summer, I decided to take a long old break – time out for me. I spent more than 2 months in Ireland and what a time I had!! Making the huge decision (which didn’t feel huge at all once I was there) to hold on to the house that my mum left me many years ago. I also spent lots of time with family and visitors – it was such a delight and much needed. The house mum (and dad but it was definitely her dream) had built back in the 70’s means a lot to us but not just the house. She was born in the house in the next field and it’s almost has a spiritual resonance.

The house been rented out for a long time and this year was decision time. Keep it and renovate it for Airbnb rental and family time and fun or let it go with love.

And as I said, we’re keeping it. The house is so unique – it’s in such a quiet and private spot and yet 15 minutes from Clonakilty, 50 minutes from Cork Airport and Kinsale but above all, 20 minutes from the beach and the Wild Atlantic Way.

Yes it’s trapped in the 70’s but with some ideas, inspiration and a load of cash, it can be returned to its former glory but very much with 2020s comforts and vibe (keeping some features like the pink downstairs loo).

Ideas will be so welcome as we start this journey so feel free to get in touch!

But what happens when we take that break?

But I digress! I also spent the time in Ireland reflecting on what is important to me and what I really want. I’ve realised the older I’m getting, the more that matters – what matters to me, nobody else but me. But it’s still a tricky one to be honest as I have spent so many years putting others first!!! Does that resonate?

But the longer I have left writing a blog, sending out my love letter, or posting on social media etc, it has made me question what my contribution is. I had become a bit jaded of marketing my business so the break has been such a sweet relief but it now feels so hard to jump or even ease myself back in. If you have your own business, this might resonate with you?

If you have struggled recently, with relationships, with your weight, your business/job, feelings of not being good enough, or life in general, please remember you are never alone – we all struggle and that’s also okay ♥️

There is no question that I am continuing my work as I truly love showing women how they can leave behind past trauma and a lack of self-love and move into a beautiful relationship with themselves, and therefore others. It’s so much part of who I am – sharing Louise Hay’s teachings in a way that is aligned to me.

How I Help Women During My Online Coaching Sessions

This is what we work on:

How our thoughts and beliefs shape our lives
Awareness of negative thoughts and how to change them
Family patterns and how they affect our lives and choices
Healing the child within us
Dealing with difficult emotions
Forgiving ourselves and others
Unlocking a new future by learning to love ourselves and others
Creating healthy relationships
Freeing ourselves from damaging patterns and behaviour
Finding a sense of purpose
Writing a new story for our lives

Find out more about how you can work with me here

BUT, there are so many personal development programmes out there promising to fix your problems and giving you all the answers. We don’t need fixing AND we have the answers inside of us. Oh, AND we’re never done with this work.

By developing such a strong sense of self love, awareness and inner trust, we can learn to KNOW that we have everything we need inside of us.

My own healing journey has shifted to self acceptance and trust – and what a journey!

So here I am – vulnerable and full of self compassion and I am asking you to do the same for you.

Be your unapologetic, beautiful self.

Whole.

Open hearted.

Fear is such an obstacle to growth and I continue to dip in and out of fear.

Do we ever escape it?

But I’m reminding myself that it’s easier to drop into the waves and trust myself to float when I don’t struggle against them.

I’m sure I have shared this beautiful affirmation from Louise Hay before but I don’t think we can ever be reminded too many times that loving ourselves is the most important thing we can do for ourselves:

“Love is the great miracle cure. Loving ourselves works miracles in our lives”
Louise Hay

Are you afraid to take a break?

If fear of the future or even taking that time out make you feel anxious, or maybe feelings of anxiety seem to be running the show, this link for my root chakra meditation can help.

Meditation is a wonderful act of self love. We will be taking a journey through the chakras to get in touch with the essence of who we are. So subscribe to my Youtube channel so you don’t miss out on more videos and meditations.

The word Chakra is a Sanksrit word, meaning “wheel” or “circle”, and it refers to the individual circular spinning wheels of energy located throughout the body. The Chakra System is a complex network of energy channels connecting these wheels and is mapped throughout the whole body.

The root chakra meditation will help you feel grounded. It will remind you that you are always safe and it’s safe to make the positive changes that you want in your life.

You just need a few minutes to take some time for yourself and sit or lie down quietly . So, of course, do not drive nor use any machinery when listening to the meditation.

Would you like to receive my regular love letters which will inspire, support and uplift you? Yes? Then sign up for my 7 Simple Morning Rituals for a Beautiful Day ☀️🌈 here and you will get to receive the love letter every week or two.

I’d love to hear from you – let me know if you found this blog interesting or helpful. Is taking time out for you important to you?

#louisehay #timeout #timetorelax #selfcompassion

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Tired of Feeling Fed Up with your Weight?

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Image of Liz Doyle the positive change coach with this text; FREE Masterclass for Women How to Let Go of the Weight Once and for All. Friday 17th June 2022

How to let Go of the Weight Once and for All – FREE Masterclass for Women

Are you totally fed up thinking about your weight?

This is what some of the women had to say after a recent Masterclass I shared:

“You did a great job and some definite discoveries came out of it. I would love to join.”
Sue

“Gosh so much of what you said really resonated! Wow I’d love to do your course and be free of my old patterns. I’m wondering who would emerge!!!”
Harriet

“As always with your work it was fascinating, thought provoking and that final meditation was so powerful.”
Tina

“I wanted to congratulate you on an amazing session. It was delivered with such gentleness, vulnerability and love. I had no idea how much you struggled so much with cravings yourself and I imagine it will inspire and motivate many women to follow in your footsteps.”
Rania

If you’re feeling like life has gotten messy, you’re not alone.

Life can be tough these days, and it can be hard to feel like you’re fully present and fully yourself.

You put so much energy into keeping all the balls in the air but it can feel overwhelming or out of control.

No wonder, you might feel like the fridge is your friend, or you numb your emotions with booze or head for the bread bin to forget about stuff.

Maybe you’re feeling so exhausted and fed up with your weight?

Again, you’re not alone.

Here’s the good news. There’s a way out.

JOIN ME LIVE FOR AN EXCLUSIVE MASTERCLASS ON FRIDAY, 17TH JUNE AT 12.30PM UK TIME, WHERE I’M GOING TO SHARE:

✨ How to breakthrough your relationship with your body and food without fear, shame or self-sabotage

During this masterclass, I’ll share my own story and the THREE Secrets that took me from a place where I was ashamed of my body and by my emotional eating and always feeling guilty to a place where I have let go of my weight and truly love my body AND I enjoy all the food I eat without any guilt or shame.

✨You’ll hear all about this and my 3 Secrets when you join me on the 17th at 12.30pm.

✨ I’ll share simple, straightforward advice that you can implement straight away to help you move away from all the shame and guilt to where you live your life with ease and joy with the vibrant, healthy body you deserve.

Hope to see you on the webinar – reserve your spot now using this link

If you REALLY can’t make it live, OF COURSE I will send out the replay (you still need to register), but I promise it will be much better live – including a very special prize giveaway.

Now, it’s your turn. Let me help you get back on track.

Go to my Let Go of The Weight page for more information 💚

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Where is the weight you need to let go of?

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Image of the back of a woman with her had in a pocket and image of Liz Doyle with my dog Alf. Text says What's in your pockets? Liz Doyle the Positive Change Coach

SOMETIMES THE WEIGHT YOU NEED TO LET GO OF ISN’T ON YOUR BODY

Imagine we are all born with lots of pockets.

Imagine each time you go through some kind of trauma or negative event in your life, you put a stone in a pocket.

The size of the stone you put in would reflect the significance of that event.

If you appropriately dealt with the experience at the time, you get to take the stone out.

Chances are, by the time you get to, say, 40-50 years old, you may have a fair few stones in your pockets.

Imagine walking around with all those stones in your pockets.

How bogged down, held back and exhausted would you feel?

Well, this is essentially what we are all doing in life.

A lot of us are walking around with pockets full of stones.

Some people have a house full of clothes with pockets of stones, which leads to depression, anxiety and overwhelm.

Now imagine that you’d got into personal development early on.

Over the years, you’ve been dealing with each stone through counselling, coaching, energy work, talking to mates, forgiving people in your past… whatever way you need to in order to get rid of a few stones.

While you may still have a few stones to deal with, you can generally go about your day without feeling like you’re bogged down.

You realised over the years how much lighter you felt each time you deal with your stones.

And so these days, there are barely any stones going in your pockets because you choose to deal with the triggers along the way instead of resolving things later.

As a result, life is much happier!

You only have a few teeny pockets with pebbles in.

Much lighter!

I love this analogy for the emotional baggage that we accumulate that can hold us back.

Over the years we can feel so heavy and bogged down by our accumulated experiences and traumas.

This can lead to burnout, mental health issues and dependence on avoiding our emotions through addictive behaviour.

We realise we just aren’t who we used to be anymore.

When you start healing the shit that’s holding you back, interesting things happen to your body and mind.

Body weight can suddenly start dropping off after years of yo-yo dieting.

We feel lighter not just physically, but mentally too.

We feel more clarity around who we are and what we want in life.

We feel more able to set boundaries and love ourselves as a priority.

We start treating our bodies better because we love ourselves more.

We feel happier.

Want some of that?

I created my online course, “21 Days To Letting Go Of The Weight”, for exactly that reason.

You can check out a sneak peek of it here with this link .

My course is for those who are happy to get an online course done in their own time (it doesn’t have to be in 21 Days btw, you can go at your pace)

If you feel like you’d need more accountability to get this done with me walking alongside you, book in a call with me here and let’s chat about how the premium programme can help.

#letitgo #weightlossjourney

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Are You Living Up To Your True Potential?

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Yesterday, in my regular love letter, I shared this big old subject which can make some of us shudder. I know it can for me sometimes – are you living up to your true potential?

Not living up to my true potential!!

Oooh, I feel better just for sharing that and I realise that it may make me sound like some sort of high achiever but I have never ever identified with that term.

However, that question is there, sitting on my shoulder, occasionally whispering in my ear.

I went to a grammar school run by nuns (say no more) but I never reached my potential there as I wasn’t nurtured or encouraged.

I guess they did their best. But there were rigid frameworks of what academic path to take and if you didn’t fit into that shape then you were left adrift – very much adrift. I was definitely a round peg trying to be shoved into a square hole. Does that resonate? I spent most of my formative years feeling a little lost and I carried that with me for a long time until I discovered Louise Hay’s work and coaching.

Coming out of a toxic marriage was a HUGE catalyst for me to stop letting my life just pass me by. I’d had some amazing life experiences up until my mid 20’s but then they seemed to dry up (apart from having my 3 beautiful daughters in my 30’s, of course). Because of the exciting things I had been doing, this meant I had never embarked on a ‘career’ as such so was making do for a long time. Looking back, I realise I also never felt good enough to do more and so worked around my daughters which tbh, I don’t regret as those years were so precious.

I’m now 62 and am only just realising what I’m actually capable of and I am embracing it wholeheartedly.

So I am testament, it’s never ever too late. Helping women love themselves and accept themselves as they are is just life changing.

And life is also so much more than these achievements isn’t it? The richness of life is also in the smallest of moments where we just enjoy our friends’ laughter or watch a butterfly land on a flower. It really is about the rich tapestry of life and all that entails.

So what about you? Are you living up to your true potential? Is this linked to your work or maybe to other things in your life like charity work or hobbies? Or does the thought just make you shudder? I’d love to know.

The following quote has always fascinated me:

“What would you do if you knew you could not fail?”
This quote is attributed to Robert H Schuller as well as Eleanor Roosevelt

Drop me an email or a message and let me know.

Would you like to connect with your true self and realise your potential?

My diary is open if you’d like to have a call to see if we’d be a good fit or to find out about my online course, you can book here or have a peek at the rest of my website here.

This is such a perfect affirmation for the subject of living to your true potential

” I have the courage to live my dreams “
Louise Hay

P.S. If you would like to receive my fortnightly love letter with ideas and inspiration for loving yourself more, follow this link and you will also receive my 7 Simple Morning Rituals for a Beautiful Day.

Want a chat about my 1 to 1 coaching or my online course “21 Days To Letting Go Of The Weight”?

BOOK YOUR CALL TODAY>>>>

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Workplace Bullying

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Have you ever experienced workplace bullying?

I had such an extraordinary session with my client recently where we looked at her blocks around her work life and also prosperity. In fact, the same session with another client, last week, was also really insightful. I am seeing a real pattern with a lot of my clients where they have experienced workplace bullying. This has normally been from their upline manager and their lives have been made so difficult that they felt, at the time, they had no choice but to leave. 😢

In a couple of cases, clients decided to start to work for themselves as they couldn’t face experiencing such potentially toxic and damaging treatment again.

The effect that this bullying has had on them has been so bad that they were physically unwell and psychologically traumatised for months and months afterwards. The long term effects can’t really be quantified.

By working with me, they have been able to let go of so much of the guilt and shame as well as self-blame around the whole situation or maybe situations if they encountered more than one bully.

We have been able to start to forgive the people involved and see where so many patterns have come from. To break those patterns is such a rewarding exercise.

I shared a post on LinkedIn (follow this link) which got such interesting feedback and here are what some women said:

“When I read about people’s heartache and leaving good jobs on numerous occasions, turning job offers down for more favourable environments, being able to talk about it openly and honestly on LinkedIn and it makes me feel thoughtful and interested when I think about all the children and all the young people in education and in schools that do not have this luxury and are left suffering, many of them feeling that they have only one way to escape from the bully, suffering trauma, unable to gain an education.”

My response; ” But I also wonder if us adults feel that we can speak up. From my clients’, friends’ and even from people commenting on this post’s experiences, it would seem they felt unable to speak up. They feel that the only option is to leave which is really very sad. The more we talk about it, the more we might see some changes take place. ”

Another said; ” Are the adults who are bullied in the workplace, the children and young people who was bullied in school?

I cannot imagine if one sailed through the education system without being bullied, to then come up against a bully in the workplace must be an overwhelming shock to one’s system.

On the other hand, I can imagine children and young people bullied in school and also bullied in the workplace, given they carry trauma from the past, unsure of what constructive criticism is, and on high alert for a repeat of what happened to them in school to happen again in the workplace, and many bullies will sense this.

My response; ” Your observation is quite similar to what I have found with some clients. It may have been bullying at school or from a parent/care giver and often, if we don’t deal with these patterns they can repeat themselves again and again in one way or another. “

S said; ” I seem to be a bit of a target. In fact, after the last time I left a workplace because of a bully, I swore I’d never go back to being employed in a workplace. Nearly 10 years on and I’m up for a job where I would have to go in and work with others. I’m almost inclined to turn it down even though I know I’ve got lots to offer because I’m afraid of what will happen. “

M’s comment; ” I have been bullied 3 times in the workplace, and left each time, I left good jobs. I run away from trouble.

When my Mother was dying of cancer one woman who was very controlling & opinionated upped her game and tried to put me under pressure. She manipulated other colleagues too. When Mum passed I had nothing left to give & left a job I loved. HR was dreadful, useless and my Manager was worse. I find that in my case other women’s insecurities played out and it manifested in their bullying nature. “

H commented; ” To be honest, the only way I’ve ever overcome workplace bullying was to leave! It’s so sad to think that there are so many people in jobs who feel they NEED to leave for their own mental health due to others poor behaviour.

I’ve left 2 jobs my my working life due to bullying, and at the time I thought leaving because of others, or because the company wouldn’t listen or even BELIEVE you, seems like the worst thing. But in hindsight I’ve learnt so much about working relationships and people skills that I know do consider it a blessing. “

Can you see a pattern with all of these comments? More needs to be done but looking back at the messages we received as children, at school and at home, can help us so much in interrupting these patterns.

After all of this response, I thought it would be really helpful to share this video which is an exercise I share with my clients. It’s very quick but can make a huge difference in lots of, potentially, challenging situations. Of course, this is another exercise originally shared by Louise Hay.

Blessing With Love by Louise Hay

If you have experienced workplace bullying, how bad was it and how did you overcome it? 💚

If you are seeing a pattern here and would like to break it, why not have a look at how I can help you here, and book in a chat with me, following this link.

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Are you ready to open up?

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Photo of Liz Doyle the Positive Change Coach with blossoms. Text - What are you open to?

What does the month of April mean?

I read this somewhere so thought I’d share just in case you like little facts like this!

April is rooted in the Latin verb “aperire” meaning “to open”, which could be a reference to the opening or blossoming of flowers and trees. Nice I thought 🌸🌸

When I discovered the power of Louise Hay’s work, I started feeling like I had been living in a kind of “winter” for a long time, and then I started “opening” to a newer and fresher period of my life.

Do you know why? Because I learnt how to be happy with who I am and how to communicate what I wanted to communicate.

The reason why I am telling you this is because I would like to share my main 3 tips that can help you to “open up” to a better approach to all areas of your life.

1 – Shine a light on your negative thoughts and limiting beliefs

We are looking to see where our negative patterns came from. In order to change limiting beliefs, they must be brought out of the subconscious minds into our awareness If you’re not aware of what’s going on, then how can you change?

That’s why I say magic happens on the other side of awareness.

Awareness is truly the key to change. Negative life patterns can be eradicated with positive processing, but it takes time and practise. Your thoughts can change your life – honest!

When we become aware of our self-limiting beliefs, we can still love others fully but without feeling guilty or looking for approval. We are not driven by fear of abandonment. To heal, we need to become aware of our stored feelings, express them and release them. This work is all about awareness and going deeper each time and the deeper we go, the more we can transform our lives.

So, what are some of the beliefs and ideas you learned about yourself and the world around you growing up? Do they all serve you? If not, you can let them go.

2 – To open up, forgive!

Is there someone you can’t forgive? 😳 Or maybe more than one person?

A lot of my clients, at the beginning of our sessions, really don’t want to forgive those that have hurt them in life (and maybe are still hurting them).

This is really hard for them but when they start to realise that forgiving these people, sets them free – well I couldn’t be happier.

I know what it feels like to not want to forgive – I was so justified in holding on to my anger and resentment but bloody hell – when you start to forgive or even say “I am willing to forgive”, things start to shift.

What’s so wonderful is once they start forgiving, my clients often continue with the forgiveness exercises I share long after working with me – because, we’re never done and there’s always more to do. But that’s a good thing as it frees itself from our bodies and our minds so we can really enjoy life so much more. And isn’t that what life should be about?

Remembering that we are victims of victims really helps I think and it’s what I try to share in my sessions so that we can start to move on with our lives with love, compassion and forgiveness.

So WHY forgive? Because holding a place of “I am not willing to forgive” you are affecting your own well-being, physically, emotionally and spiritually.

People often hold back on forgiveness because they think it condones betrayal or abuse from the other person. It doesn’t. However, as long as you resist forgiveness, you are giving the other person or situation power over you. You are allowing yourself to be held hostage. In a way, forgiving others is selfish because you are choosing freedom for yourself over blaming someone else and staying a victim.

“ You can never be free of bitterness as long as you continue to think unforgiving thoughts. How can you be happy in this moment if you continue to choose to be angry and resentful? Thoughts of bitterness can’t create joy. No matter how justified you feel you are, no matter what “they” did, if you insist on holding on to the past, then you will never be free. Forgiving yourself and others will release you from the prison of the past. ”
Louise Hay

The most difficult person to forgive is often ourselves.

Do you feel the same?

Forgive yourself.

Let the past go.

You did the best you could at the time with the understanding, awareness & knowledge that you had. Now you are growing & changing and you will live life differently.

3 – Love Yourself a little bit more every day

We’re not going to love ourselves totally in one day, but we can love ourselves a little bit more every day.

Each day, we give ourselves a little bit more love, and in 2 or 3 months, we will have come so much further in loving ourselves.

Criticism breaks the inner spirit. Praise builds it up. So, praise yourself as much as you can. Tell yourself how well you are doing with every little thing. A lot of us were told growing up don’t get too big for your boots or who do you think you are – maybe you spoke up for yourself, but those messages still get absorbed.

Begin with little things. Tell yourself that you are wonderful. If you do it once and then stop, it doesn’t work. Keep at it, even if it’s one minute at a time. Believe me, it does get easier.

Express this growing sense of love you have for yourself while looking in the mirror. At least once a day say: “I love you, I really love you!” Events come and go, but the love that you have for yourself is constant, and it is the most important quality you possess in your life.

LOVE YOURSELF – DO IT NOW! Are you waiting to get it right? Don’t wait until you lose the weight; put the weight on; or get the new job; get more clients; more money or the new relationship. Dissatisfaction with yourself is a habit pattern. If you can be satisfied with yourself now – if you can love and approve of yourself now, then when good comes into your life, you will be able to enjoy it.

Once you learn to love yourself, you can begin to love and accept other people. This might sound very simplistic, but the quickest way to change any problem is to love who we are. It is amazing how the loving vibrations we send out will attract to us people who are loving.

It all begins with self-acceptance and self-love. You are not here to please other people or to live your life their way. You can only live it your own way and walk your own path.

You are here to learn and grow and to love yourself. So begin NOW and do the best you can.

So finally – are you ready to open up?

These were just 3 ways to open up to a new future. I have more, of course, but these are my top 3. If you need some more inspiration, have a look at my videos – Louise Hay’s How To Love Yourself, starting with Stop All Criticism. This is an ongoing process for me too because I am human, but compared to how I used to be, well, I am truly a different person.

Are you ready to open up? Stop all criticism

My coaching sessions are all about opening up to a new future, opening up to loving yourself. This link will take you to see how you can work with me or you might like to check out my online course, 21 Days To Letting Go Of The Weight.

I’d love to know what you think and I’m going to ask you again – are you ready to open up?

Are you ready to open up? Read More »

Happy Mother’s Day?

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I hope it’s a happy mothers day for all mother figures.

Here in the UK on Sunday, it was Mother’s Day and my daughters have always made a lovely fuss of me since they were very small. Some years they would all make me gorgeous home made gifts and cards. And I have treasured them all. As they are now all young women, they still give me flowers and sometimes make me something (this year my youngest made me a beautifully printed card) but… those extra special cuddles and kisses are not so numerous which is how life is and that’s OK.

But it hasn’t always been an easy day because my relationship with my mum was not an easy one and she wasn’t a very easy woman to love. She was distant and cold as well as being pretty angry most of the time. I now really understand and “get” her story of what made her that way. I have forgiven her many times although she passed quite a while ago and know that she couldn’t really give the love she was never given in the first place. Because of Louise Hay, I totally understand that she was doing the best she could at the time with the knowledge, awareness and understanding that she had then.

Here’s a very short video on why forgiveness sets you free 🦋

Video – Forgiveness

Mother’s Day can be a difficult day

I know I’m not the only one who has found Mother’s Day a difficult day. Maybe because you don’t get on or she’s no longer around or you can’t get to see her. And of course, it can so very hard for those who are not able to have children when that’s all they want in the world. These sorts of days can be really difficult reminders especially when we see all the happy posts on social media.

All kinds of mums

Nowadays, I understand that Mother’s Day isn’t just for birth mothers but all kinds. It’s also for them.

Mum who has a lost a child

Adoptive mum

IVF mum

Surrogate mum

Dad who has to be a mum too

Mum of her furbabies

Mum of a special needs child

Mum of a child with health challenges

Mum who feels like she’s failing

You are not forgotten and you are never alone and if I’ve missed any other kind of mum, it wasn’t intentional.

What goes on in that womb!

I have been reading up a bit more about what happens as the baby grows inside the mother and although I knew a fair bit (I am a mum of 3 girls after all), I have either forgotten some of this or never knew it in the first place. It just blew me away.

When pregnant, the cells of the baby migrate into the mother’s bloodstream and then circle back into the baby, it’s called “fetal-maternal microchimerism”.⁠

For 41 weeks, the cells circulate and merge backwards and forwards, and after the baby is born, many of these cells stay in the mother’s body, leaving a permanent imprint in the mother’s tissues, bones, brain, and skin, and often stay there for decades. Every single child a mother has afterwards will leave a similar imprint on her body, too.

Even if a pregnancy doesn’t go to full term, these cells still migrate into your bloodstream which is a lovely thing to know as I miscarried two babies.

Research has shown that if a mother’s heart is injured, fetal cells will rush to the site of the injury and change into different types of cells that specialise in mending the heart.

The baby helps repair the mother, while the mother builds the baby.

How cool is that?

This is often why certain illnesses vanish while a woman is pregnant (now so much makes sense).

It’s incredible how the mother’s body protects the baby at all costs, and the baby protects and rebuilds the mother back – so that the baby can develop safely and survive.

Studies have also shown cells from a fetus in a mothers brain eighteen years after she gave birth. How amazing is that?

If you’re a mum, you know how you can intuitively feel your child even when they are not there…

Well, now there is scientific proof that mums carry them for years and years even after they have given birth to them.

I think this is all so beautiful.

Why is Mother’s Day different in the UK?

Where does Mothering Sunday in the UK originate from? I’ve been looking this up too

It always falls on the 4th Sunday in Lent – exactly 3 weeks before Easter, in the UK and some others parts of the world.

Originating in the Middle ages when children who were employed in domestic service were allowed to go home to their “mother church” – so the connection with mothers was not as we celebrate it today.

Naturally the journey home became an opportunity for families to get together and the children would pick flowers for their mothers on their way home.

It was also a time when the fasting rules of Lent were slightly relaxed, and also it became known as Simnel Sunday – a day when Simnel cakes are traditionally baked.

Mothering Sunday is celebrated on different days around the world – in the U.S and most of Europe this year it will be on 8th May and in France they celebrate on the last Sunday in May.

If you are lucky enough to have your mother still with you and you have a loving and nourishing relationship- treasure and value that relationship. But we know there can be so many motherly figures who can fulfil that role. The most important thing is to know you are always loved.

If you would like to find out more about how I can help you move on from difficult relationships and know that you are always enough just as you are, follow this link

Happy Mother’s Day? Read More »

Need a good cuddle?

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Photos of people cuddling each other, their animals and themselves with text - Need a Cuddle? and Liz Doyle the Positive Change Coach. Blog about the Importance of Being Held

The Importance of Being Held

The average length of a hug between two people is 3 seconds. But I’m sure you’ve read or heard that researchers have discovered that when a hug lasts 20 seconds, there is a therapeutic effect on the body and mind. The reason is that a heartfelt embrace produces the hormone “oxytocin”, aka the love hormone. This has lots of benefits with our physical and mental health. It helps us to relax, to feel safe and calm our fears and anxiety.

So every time you hold a person in your arms, cuddle your child, give your dog or cat (if he/she will let you!) a hug, dance with your partner, or just put your arm around the shoulders of a friend, you are doing both of you a whole lot of good.

Here are some more reasons, according to scientific research, why we should hug more:

1. Hugging stimulates oxytocin (as I already mentioned)

Oxytocin is a neurotransmitter that acts on the brain’s emotional centre, promoting feelings of contentment, reducing anxiety and stress. It is the hormone responsible for us being here today! Oxytocin is released during childbirth, making our mothers forget about all of the terrible pain and trauma they endured bringing us into the world and making them want to still love and spend time with us (that does explain a lot after I gave birth). When we hug someone, oxytocin is released into our bodies by our pituitary gland, lowering both our heart rates and our cortisol levels. Cortisol is the hormone responsible for stress, high blood pressure, and heart disease so, of course, it is always good to lower cortisol.

2. Hugging Could Help Avoid Disease

Affection in the form of a cuddle has a direct affect on reducing stress which prevents many diseases. The Touch Research Institute at the University of Miami School of Medicine carried out more than 100 studies into touch and found evidence of significant effects, including faster growth in premature babies, reduced pain, decreased autoimmune disease symptoms, lowered glucose levels in children with diabetes, and improved immune systems in people with cancer.

3. A Cuddle Promotes Patience

Connections are fostered when people take the time to appreciate and acknowledge one another. A hug is one of the easiest ways to show appreciation for another person. We’re constantly rushing around or so it seems sometimes. By slowing down and taking a moment to offer sincere hugs throughout the day, we’re benefiting ourselves, others, and cultivating better patience within ourselves.

4. Activates the Thymus Gland

Hugs strengthen the immune system. The gentle pressure on the sternum and the emotional charge this creates activates the Solar Plexus Chakra. This stimulates the thymus gland, which regulates and balances the body’s production of white blood cells, which keep you healthy. I also practise a Thymus Gland activation process, I learned from the amazing energy healer, Deborah King – check out this link

The Importance of Being Held and how to activate the Thymus Gland

5. Promotes Self-Esteem and Self-Love

Having a cuddle boosts self-esteem, especially in children according to research. The tactile sense is all-important in babies, of course. A baby recognises its parents by touch at first. From the moment we’re born, our family’s touch shows us that we’re loved and special. The associations of self-worth and tactile sensations from our early years are still imbedded in our nervous system as adults. The cuddles we received from our parents or other care givers while growing up remain imprinted at a cellular level, and hugs remind us at a somatic level of that. Cuddles, therefore, connect us to our ability to love ourselves. Pretty profound eh?!

6. Non Verbal Communication

About 70% of communication is nonverbal. How we interpret someone’s body language can be based on just one gesture and hugging is an excellent method of expressing yourself nonverbally to another human being or animal. What a wonderful way to share the love and care you have for them by your embrace.

7. Cuddles Help Parasympathetic Balance

Hugs balance out the nervous system. The skin can sense the touch from a cuddle which connects with the brain through the vagus nerve. The effect in moisture and electricity in the skin suggests a more balanced state in the nervous system – parasympathetic.

8. Stimulates Serotonin

Reaching out and hugging releases endorphins and serotonin into the blood vessels and this causes pleasure, takes away pain and sadness. It can decrease the chances of getting heart problems as well as help to maintain a healthy weight. Even the cuddling of pets has a soothing effect that reduces stress levels.

9. Hugs Stimulate Dopamine Flow

Everything we do involves protecting and triggering dopamine flow, the pleasure and reward hormone. Apparently, low dopamine levels play a role in the disease Parkinson’s as well as depression. Dopamine is responsible for giving us that feel-good feeling, and it’s also responsible for motivation! Hugs stimulate the brain to release dopamine. Dopamine sensors are the areas that many stimulating drugs such as cocaine and alcohol target. So we can get the same release by cuddling our dog or even ourselves if nobody else is around.

So get hugging and cuddling from your heart with someone you care for, an animal you love and above all, yourself. Yes, stretch those arms around yourself and give yourself a big, heartfelt hug.

And if that wasn’t enough, to receive my latest love letter with the health benefits of smiling, get in contact here.

I would also love to hear from you with your thoughts on this blog. It’s always good to hear if you find it interesting and possibly inspiring.

Need a good cuddle? Read More »

What is Valentine’s Day all about anyway?

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You’d need to be living under a rock not to have noticed it was Valentine’s Day yesterday, don’t you think? What is Valentine’s Day all about anyway?

There is so much hype about this one day of the year.

Valentine’s Day can be such a tricky day for those not in a relationship. It can also be pretty tricky for those in a relationship that isn’t thriving and loving and empowering.

You’ll probably guess where I’m going to go with this post – start with yourself.

No matter if you’re in a relationship or not – Be your own Valentine and it really shouldn’t be for just one day.

What did you give yourself yesterday? 💌

What are you going to give yourself tomorrow? 🥰

When was the last time you had a date? 🍽

With yourself? 😊

Bought yourself some flowers… 💐 some REALLY good chocolate? 🍫

On St Val’s day, I romanced myself. I gave myself some love. In lots of small ways but they make such a difference.

One of them is to affirm:

“I am loved. I am loving. I am lovable.”
Louise Hay

Say it with me 😊♥️♥️

If you’re looking for more connection, more meaning, and more happiness in your life, then you need to LOVE yourself first 😊♥️

Look at yourself in the mirror and say:

“I love you, I really, really love you”.

Here are some other things you can try to give love to yourself:

😍 Massage some love into your face, maybe with some oils – a little bit of almond oil with rose (the essential oil of self-love) or lavender is fantastic but any oil or even a moisturiser will do just as well.

🥰 Close your eyes. Breathe in love into your heart centre. Breathe out love to everyone in the world (this is magical).

👣 Give yourself a mini pedicure – fill a bowl with warm water and some Epsom salts for all that yummy magnesium and soak up all that love there is for you.

🗣 Whisper sweet nothings to yourself. Tell yourself how proud you are of how far you have come.

✍️ Connect with your inner child or inner teenager by writing a love letter to yourself as you were at a time when you needed some extra love and support. Look at my earlier blog about connecting with your inner child here.

♥️ Forgive yourself. Remind yourself that you were doing the best you could at the time, with the knowledge, awareness and understanding you had at that time. Say it out loud – “I forgive you”.

😘 Are there are any parts of yourself that you are ashamed of? It is so so important to give love to those parts that you hold shame over. Let it all go.

For even more inspiration to love yourself more, go to my A to Z of Self-Love playlist and here is the link.

How are you going to love yourself even more for the rest of the month? Let me know 🥰

I’m going to close with another and super simple affirmation from the truly wonderful Louise Hay – “Life Loves Me!”

#valentinesday #iamlove #louisehay #affirmations #loveyourself

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