Sometimes it feels like one bad thing happens after another. I mean, one bad thing happens and then another bad thing happens and then another bloody bad thing happens. 

That was me last week – yes, it happens to me too. 

I was poodling along feeling so grateful for all the blessings in my life and then something happened on Monday which was pretty awful. The interesting thing was my trauma response was to go bed. Yes, when life goes very wrong – bury your head under the duvet and scream!!!

“What had I done wrong?” I asked myself. 

“How had I brought this on…?” 

After a lot of crying (and I mean a lot) screaming, swearing and getting support from my dearest friends and family, I soothed myself with –  

“the universe has your back; this happened because something much better is on its way”. 

So over the week, I picked myself up, dusted myself off and got back in the game of life. 

By Friday, I was feeling good! Zumba, working with clients and even doing sweet little live events on Insight Timer and with my private FB community.

And then BOOM 💣💥 – Friday afternoon another pretty awful thing happened and then Friday evening, yes, you guessed it, another bloody awful thing happened. 

Woah, I was in a bit of a state by the time I went to bed. Well, you know what, I wasn’t! I realised that the universe had been guiding me and helping to work through these issues and it was all happening for a reason. 

You see, I now have tools 👩🏼‍🏭🛠🗜🔩🧰 

Tools, to help me come out of the fight or flight mode. 

Tools to help me to calm my traumatised nervous system. 

Tools to help me lower my cortisol levels while raising my vibration. 

I’m not saying it’s necessarily easy but it does definitely work. 

I’m now back in a place of trust and knowing as Abraham Hicks says

“things are always working out for me (even when they don’t feel like they’re working out for me!)”. 

The world feels like a crazy place at the moment – there is so much fear about the cost of living crisis and devastating conflict in different parts of the world. It’s easy for so many of us to retreat into that place of foreboding and crippling feelings of lack and I’ll say it again, fear. 

What to do when life goes wrong… Badly!

If you’re in this situation or someone in your life is, some or all of the following points might help you / them. This is what helped me last week and really, any time I revert back into my “old self” of trauma induced paralysis. 

• Scream, yes scream! If you’re in an environment that you can safely do this and you won’t scare the bejesus out of anyone near you. This gets it out of your body. You’re not trying to bury the emotions – you’re literally giving them a voice which is always so much better for you than squashing it all down.
• Bash some pillows or cushions. Again, this is getting the anger out of the body and benefits you in much the same way as screaming but I recommend both. Louise Hay swore by giving pillows a good old bash on a regular basis even if she felt angry or not – she wrote about how buried feelings of anger and distress are so damaging to us in every way and this exercise gets it out. 
• Talk to someone you can trust and who won’t judge you. This is really important. You need support from someone who is there for you. Someone who won’t criticise you (even subtly) or tell you what to do. They will just listen. These people are priceless so don’t ever let them go!!
• Allow yourself to feel s**t. It is what it is AND you are where you are AND you feel how you feel. You’re allowed to have these feelings. We often start telling ourselves that we’re out of control or feel guilty for being so upset. This is often linked to childhood messages from our care givers, trying to get us to calm down and sometimes in not a very kind way. Embrace these feelings because the quicker you allow yourself to feel s**t, the quicker you will start to feel better.
• FORGIVE yourself. Maybe some of what has happened is because of something you did or didn’t do. There is no point in blaming yourself and adding to the pile of crap you’re already feeling. And I think you know that. If you catch yourself berating yourself, just STOP. Stop right where you are and forgive yourself. Or at the very least say, “I am willing to forgive myself”. Life happens and this is a reminder that you are human and humans make mistakes.
• Do nothing. You don’t have to decide anything straight away. You probably don’t have to react immediately, so don’t. It won’t help the situation none! Sit with it, absorb the information and go through the steps above. You don’t have to react when your cortisol levels are through the roof. I believe we are always being guided, so sit with it as best you can for now.
• Praise yourself. I know, this sounds bonkers and yes it’s probably not easy to do straight away but if you’re like a lot of humans out there, you’ve probably gone through a fair bit in your life and you’re here to tell the tale. So, praise yourself for that! You have survived 100% of your worst days and you’re still here – maybe not smiling right now but you’re down, not out. Remind yourself of that – YOU ARE AMAZING. Yes, I say this to myself.

Now, what to do when you start to feel a bit better?

When the worst of the feelings start to abate, then what can you do?:

• Meditation. You can sit and just breathe in and out slowly, counting on the in and out breath. I have shared lots of ideas on meditating in previous blogs. I meditate every single day and especially when I am facing challenges like this last week. My preferred go to is a guided meditation on that particular topic and there are 100’s to choose from on Insight Timer. I’m a teacher on the app now or have a look at my YouTube channel.
• Tapping. EFT/Tapping is an incredible tool to help me lower any feelings of overwhelming stress and to reset my nervous system back to a calmer and more self-nurturing place. One of my favourites, is Tapping with Brad and here’s a great video on overwhelm.
• Gratitude. No matter how bad life can get, there is always something that we can feel grateful about. But I know, it’s not that easy to do because, well, you just feel rubbish. But by slowly introducing or re-introducing (if you’ve lapsed a bit) a gratitude routine, you will not only help your wellbeing, mentally and physically, but you will start to have more to be grateful about. It is such a great way to raise your vibration. You are very welcome to join my small Gratitude & Support Group by joining my private FB group, Love Yourself – Women Inspiring Women. So, what are you grateful for today and, again, you can start small?
• De-cluttering. I don’t mean housework! I mean intentionally clearing out something in your home, car, case or bag for the purpose of making way for something new. I am an enormous fan of decluttering and I’ve talked about it before with regard to manifesting abundance. In the last few days, I have been ritually burning some confidential papers that needed to go but I just hadn’t got round to doing it. The feeling of relief and release has been so profound. Start small but start – just start somewhere.
• Get Yourself a God Box! I’m not a fan of the word God because it has been misused and abused by religions for millennia. I prefer Universe, Spirit even Goddess but God Box has such a great ring to it don’t you think? I have come across this before but I am currently working my way through Tosha Silver‘s wonderful book, “It’s Not Your Money” and she explains it all so well. Get yourself any kind of box (you choose how fancy or not) and write down on a piece of paper your burden. It can be about any subject at all (not just money) and offer it up to the Divine by popping it in the box. You can even say “I hand this to you Divine and I ask for the right actions to be shown to me”. Then do your best to forget about it! I found a lovely pink box to be my God Box and I already have 4 burdens in there 😊.

These are a few ideas of how you can help yourself when life goes wrong. I’m sure you might have a few tools of your own but sometimes, we just need a little reminder and that’s what this can be for you.

I hope that reading about my own authentic feelings shows you that life is a work in progress. We ALL have our stuff. But you might be in a place where your feelings run much deeper. You might think that it’s time to put YOU first. If so, have a look at what my coaching involves.

Just remember, you are never on your own and there is always support and guidance all around us.