Liz Doyle

Text Liz Doyle the Positive Change Coach

Liz Doyle

the Positive Change Coach

Text Liz Doyle the Positive Change Coach

Liz Doyle

the Positive Change Coach

meditation

What Makes You Happy?

Pie Chart with What Makes Us Happy

I have recently started a course called “Science of Happiness” and although there is so much I already know about this subject, I love it when it’s actually backed up by scientists researching the subject. And I can always learn more, of course!

Sonja Lyubomirsky, Professor in the Department of Psychology at the University of California, Riverside and author of “The How of Happiness: A Scientific Approach”, developed a theory with colleagues that answers this question of what are the most important determinants of happiness? 

You’ll see her pie chart: It is very simplistic – numbers that are averages and approximations from lots of past studies.

Approximately 50% of the variance in happiness is due to our genes. Basically, some of us have happier genes! Approximately, 10% lies in our life circumstances; some studies show it’s from 8% to 18%. 

We all differ in our life circumstances – some of us are richer, some of us are poorer, some of us are more or less attractive, and more or less healthy. That does play a part in our happiness. But, not as much as you might expect. I was quite surprised that the number was so small. I think we tend to think “I’ll be happier when I have… a new job, a partner, new home, a baby” etc. But the research shows that those things don’t affect our happiness as much as we think they will (something I already knew but I loved seeing the research). 

That leaves approximately 40% of happiness, which is under our control to change.

Sonja Lyubomirsky’s book, and her work is really about how do we harness that 40%? What is it that we can do, think, behave in our daily lives that can affect our happiness level? 

Researchers have looked at what happy people do

They study happy people and what the research shows is that happy people are;

really good at relationships – they have stable, fulfilling relationships, partnerships, friends, even with their pets

more grateful, and are more helpful and philanthropic

more optimistic about the future 

more likely to live in the present

people who tend to savour pleasures in their life

habitually more physically active

often spiritual or religious (spirituality and religion aren’t a prerequisite for happiness, but it is correlated with happiness) 

deeply committed to goals – they have significant meaningful life goals that they are pursuing, whether it’s how they raise their children, building a house, or advancing in their career etc

These are correlational studies so, of course, nothing is set in stone. But the question of how to become happier is an interesting scientific one.

Another renowned psychologist Barbara Fredrickson, Professor of Psychology at the University of North Carolina, and a leading researcher of positive emotions explained how positive emotions are more than just fleeting, frivolous sensations. They can profoundly change our minds and bodies, broadening our perspective and make us more resilient to setbacks.

The Power of Meditation

With this in mind, her research on meditation looks at how people might use meditation to elevate positive emotion. Meditation plays a major part in my life and has made a profound difference to what I see as my happiness quota. It also plays a major part in my own coaching, and I suggest that my clients introduce meditation into their daily practice as soon as we start working together. In fact, I send them my recordings as part of their growth work.

Barbara Fredrickson became particularly interested in a form of meditation called loving kindness meditation, also called Metta. It asks people to cultivate that warm, tender feeling that you already have towards a loved one or even a pet and learn to direct it towards: yourself at first and then towards a loved one, then a neutral person you don’t really know and then a person you have difficulties with and eventually to direct it to all people and sentient beings on the planet. 

What she learned from her research on love and kindness meditation is that positive emotions can change. Novice mediators, over the course of 8 weeks, their positive emotions subtly shift upwards. It’s not a huge increase but it’s statistically significant and it has an important impact on these people’s lives months later. What she learned is that as people’s positive emotions increase, their ability to stay in the present moment and attend to subtle differences improved. Their close and trusting warm relationships with others are improved over the course of 3 months; these are things that was measured before they took the meditation workshop and then a couple weeks after it ended, and they saw improvements there. 

There are improvements in people’s resilience, their ability to bounce back from difficulties and effectively manage their environmental challenges. There are reductions in people’s headaches, pains, stomach pains, or self-reported health problems and in their newest study they’ve found changes in heart rate variability. 

She states that positive emotions transform us for the better – it’s like that butterfly coming out of its cocoon (an analogy I also use in my coaching). If we increase our daily diet of positive emotions, we come out 3 months later, stronger, more resilient, more socially connected versions of ourselves and dare I say it, happier.

This was, of course, so aligned with my own beliefs and with how I work with women on my online coaching. I’d love to know what you think of this so please get in contact with any feedback and tell me what makes you happy?

To find out more about my coaching follow this link to book in a private and confidential call.

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Meditation

Text - Meditation

Meditation is a powerful act of self-love. Meditation plays a major part in my life and has made a profound difference to my life. It also plays a major part in my own coaching, and I suggest that my clients introduce meditation into their daily practice as soon as we start working together. In fact, I send them my recordings as part of their growth work.

You can’t get meditation wrong!

There is so much hype about sitting in the right position and not letting your thoughts in. You can’t stop your thoughts BUT you can slow them down. You can observe them like a train stopping at a station. You can choose to get on the train and let your thoughts take over or you can watch the train leave the station.

I would suggest introducing meditation into your life if you can. As early in the day as possible will make such a difference. You can set the alarm 10 minutes earlier for the practice. If done consistently, this will make a massive difference to the day ahead. This will start your day with such positivity and light.

This small extract was from a recent session I shared and I feel it can help all of us right now 💜💚💜

“In every moment of life, there are infinite reasons to suffer and infinite reasons to be happy… 

What matters is where we’re putting our attention… 

Become aware that everything you need to be happy is already present in this moment… 

All of the conditions that are needed for peace, joy, and freedom are already here… 

Let’s no longer ignore the positive conditions that are available in this moment… 

Problems do exist, but they are not all that exists… 

Focus on everything in life that is good… 

We are no longer regretting the past or worrying about the future…

We are here and present to the miracles of life.”

Meditation quietens the mind and that can only be a good thing. And, it can do so much more.

Are you feeling stuck and want to move on? Follow this link to book in a confidential call to discuss if working with me could be a good match.

#meditation #positivechange #louisehay

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Growth Work NOT Homework

Image of a plant growing with text; Growth Work NOT Homework. Liz Doyle the Positive Change Coach

So that my clients can benefit from the work we do in our sessions, they have a little bit of growth work to take away each week – it’s simple AND it’s NOT homework

The growth work material helps my clients go through what has been covered each week.

I always want them to see it as a gift to themselves.

All the sessions are designed to help the healing process. 

Even if a client has worked with this material before, there is always a deeper level of healing that can occur.

We will go into ourselves deeply to break through the layers of the old stories and find the beauty inside. 

Meditations/Visualisations

I will also send my client a recording of one of the meditations I took them through during that session. This helps her to really consolidate everything we have looked at. It also helps her to introduce the meditation practice into her life if she hasn’t already.

With meditation, the goal is to focus attention on some specific thought and allow the mind to transcend its usual jumping all over the place. Plato likened the mind to a ship where the sailors have mutinied. The discipline of meditation quells it so that the captain and the navigator can steer consistently and coherently. Others have referred to our minds as a “monkey mind” jumping all over the place. Meditation helps stop the monkey from jumping!

Meditation allows us to shift attention from all the demands of our busy, outer world to a quiet inner world. It’s really an activity of the heart. When you consistently spend time in meditation, you find a core of strength and wisdom, and you develop more of a flow with life.

Here’s a super short video which gives a little more insight to the growth work.

Growth Work to help my clients even more

The most important thing I want my clients to remember is to be very gentle with themselves as they process the work we have done.

And wherever they are right now in their journey is perfect. Whatever she is doing is moving her forward. And that the growth work is not homework!

And what I always say about the Growth Work

“Put your attention on what you are doing, not what you aren’t!”

Go at your own (relaxed) pace. 

There’s no need to feel that you’re falling behind or that you need to catch up. Trust the process.

Relax and celebrate. 

Attending these sessions is a powerful step forward. 

Please celebrate every step that you take!”

As always, I’d love to hear what you think and if you’d like to find out more about me, just follow this link.

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