Coaching for Women Archives - Page 2 of 3

Who’s Winning? You or the Voice in Your Head?

We all have one – that inner saboteur! Whispering away inside our head and sometimes it feels non-stop or it does until we decide enough is enough. That was me. I had spent what felt like a life time letting that voice tell me all kinds of really crappy things. Telling me I was stupid, that I didn’t matter, that I was unimportant, that I was too loud, too quiet, fat, lumpy, unpopular…. I could go on. Who’s winning?

The first relationship we have in life is with ourselves. No one else goes through every experience in life with us. No matter how long we might have a partner for, we are our one permanent companion. And yet we are often our absolute worst critic. Do you agree?

If you are wondering who’s winning, you or the voice in your head, I have a lovely little exercise to remind ourselves of our magnificence and fabulousness. It’s similar to exercises I do with my clients but this is really short and so simple, you can do it in less than 5 minutes.

5 Things I Like About Myself

Start by writing down at least 5 things that you like about yourself.

Have you noticed that I haven’t said love because if it was “5 things I love about myself”, some might not even go there. So, let’s stick to 5 things you like about yourself.

Now, I don’t want you to be modest! If you’re finding it hard to come up with 5 then this exercise can really help you. I’m not talking about physical attributes but you can add them if you wish but we are SO much more than that. Our bodies are only part of who we are.

If it’s really tricky to list the 5 things, think of what you like about people in your life that you really admire, because these traits are often qualities that you possess too. Another thing that might help is to think of 5 things that voice in your head says about you and flip them to a positive!! Yes it does work 😊

This is the challenging bit – continue this process for a week, thinking of five new things you like about yourself each day.

At the end of the week, read the list aloud to yourself while standing in front of a mirror. Yes, we’re back to that mirror again! Instead of looking for the things that you dislike about yourself or what the voice in your head calls you, allow the mirror to reflect your magnificence. Because you are and fabulous too.

You may feel really daft standing in front of a mirror and reading your list out loud, but it might bring a smile to your face and start to change the way you see yourself.

For those moments when you think the voice in your head is winning

Remember, it’s when you feel the most resistant that this exercise can help you the most. Where there is the most resistance is where there is the biggest breakthrough. I was told this at my Heal Your Life training and did I have some breakthroughs!!

Modern life has taught us to look out at the world. To look outside of ourselves, instead of looking at ourselves and becoming more aware of who we truly are. No wonder, we don’t see the magnificence that we are and that which others often can see.

When we take the time to experience ourselves the way we would experience someone we love and admire, we become our best champion and cheerleader on life’s journey.

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Love Yourself Advent Calendar

If you like this little exercise, then you’ll love the Love Yourself Advent Calendar which I am hosting in my private FB group – JOIN HERE, if you’re not already a member. This special 24 day Advent Calendar will help you to honour, support and love yourself all the way up to Christmas.

The Advent Calendar will be a mixture of meditations, live videos and printables to bring more self-love into your life.

In case you’re concerned, no meditation experience is required!

Let this calendar draw you closer into what feels true to you, and invite in a healthier and happier you for a truly fabulous Christmas.

Each day is designed to encourage you to take a little time to tend to your mind, body and also your spirit if that’s your thing.

Meditation is scientifically proven to help train your mind to focus and help you redirect your thoughts. It also helps with stress management, alleviates anxiety, improves concentration, and enhances self awareness. And remember – magic ALWAYS happens on the other side of awareness!

Join me if you want to level up your brain/body/spirit connection and feel the emotional ease that comes from giving this advent calendar as a gift to yourself each day.

The invitation is yours and someone you care about – so invite them to the group too.

Take on the whole 24 days or drop in whenever it feels good for you.

Everyone can meditate and everyone can take a little time for themselves to breath, to take time out and just be.

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If you’d like to find out more about my 1 to 1 online coaching sessions, follow this link or my online course to let go of the weight, follow this link.

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Move on From Domestic Abuse

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October was first declared as National Domestic Violence Awareness Month in 1989. It’s a month focused on continuing to raise awareness of domestic abuse, giving a voice to its victims, and helping them move on from domestic abuse.

Yep, I know we know that Domestic Violence exists BUT how much are we really aware of the signs from friends and other loved ones who might be suffering in silence.

Silence because they are scared, frightened of what might happen if their dirty secret is revealed. What might happen to them and/or their children?

We can so easily look away when any subject that might be uncomfortable rears its ugly head – I know I do sometimes. I like to to focus on the positive things in life.

Of course I do! I’m a Positive Change Coach for f**k’s sake. And yes it does really really help.

However, sometimes, we have to face the facts of what’s going on and the more we are aware, the more we can help others or ourselves if we are the victims.

Every victim of domestic violence has a different, terrible story but some of the underlying details can be quite similar.

The thing is, she can feel like she’s the only person in the world going through it. I know men and gender fluids can also be victims BUT the vast majority of victims are women and often, their children because of what they witness and endure themselves.

I want these women to feel that they are seen, they are heard and acknowledged.

So, I’m talking Domestic Violence Awareness Month and possibly some new ideas of how women can move on from domestic abuse.

If you or anyone you know is in danger or just know it’s time to get out or get that person out, I am sharing some emergency and advice telephone numbers below.

I am spiritual but before I really understood the Law of Attraction or had immersed myself in the world of Louise Hay, I just trusted. I did what I had to do but once everything was set in motion, I just knew we were going to be alright.

It wasn’t all plain sailing by any means but when I look back to who I was and to the person I am now, I am the same person but oh so different. I wish the same for you or the woman out there that you might know who is living this living nightmare.

Whilst it’s so important to stand up to any abusive behaviour, what I would like to see is a change in the whole perspective.

This can be through education but I truly believe that if I had loved myself more, I wouldn’t have attracted someone like this person into my life in the first place.

Thankfully, I have been in such a good place for a long time now that I no longer regret it as it has made me who I am now and I really love that.

Also, if the abuser had loved himself more, then they would never have been in such a terrible place that they would get pleasure from making another human being suffer in any way.

After all, as Louise Hay said, we are all victims of victims.

Rather than just fighting domestic abuse, I’d love us to focus on a world where all humans respect and love each other. Where we accept each others’ differences and seek to heal our own mental wounds rather than lash out and make others hurt over and over again.

I know, it feels like a big ask but has the anti-war movement or fight against poverty really worked?

I’d rather put my attention on a peaceful and loving world.

That is why I’m sharing this meditation – this is a meditation or even visualisation that can help women heal from the trauma as victims of domestic abuse – helping them move on from domestic abuse.

This could be happening right now, it could be recent or if they are still living with the trauma of past abuse and they are fearful of repeating the same pattern.

Within this meditation, I also focus on welcoming in a world where there is only love.

A big part of Louise Hay’s work involves meditations.

Here are a few science-based benefits of meditation

Reduces stress. Stress reduction is one of the most common reasons people try meditation. …
Controls anxiety. …
Promotes emotional health. …
Enhances self-awareness. …
Lengthens attention span. …
May reduce age-related memory loss. …
May help fight addictions.

Anne Blythe, the founder of Betrayal Trauma Recovery said the following:

“ Many women who experience the trauma of abuse find themselves having difficulty processing that trauma and pain.

Meditation can help provide clarity and offer space for that processing to happen safely. “

There is evidence that where 1% of the population started meditating, the indicators of a better quality of life for all increased.

For example, there was less crime recorded.

If we are all connected, as I believe, then when many people are meditating and becoming more peaceful, that would clearly send out waves of peace and love and understanding.

In the The New Science of Life by Rupert Sheldrake, he suggests there is a “morphogenic field” that contains all the thoughts there are.

I would call this the universe, but he is a scientist!

Sheldrake believes that as we put more thoughts of peace into this field, it will create more peace on the planet.

So, if we think in terms of solutions rather than problems, we assist the solutions needed for helping our planet.

For example, if you focus on the “problems” of pollution or poverty, the problem is strengthened.

If you focus on knowing that there are solutions, you are putting energy into finding the solution.

Have you ever heard the phrase – what we resist persists?

I think it’s so true…

Don’t think of a pink elephant… What are you thinking of now?

So, in your personal life and our collective life, if you continue to complain and focus about a situation, the energy persists to continue the problem.

If you are focused on the energy of a solution, even though you may have no idea what that solution is, you are giving energy to the solution.

When Louise Hay heard of any crises in the world, she immediately surrounded the whole situation with white light.

She sent love and healing energy to everyone connected with it, including whoever may have done the damage.

Rage and fear won’t heal anything.

Hatred begets hatred.

An “eye-for-eye” philosophy makes everyone blind.

Of course, she seldom read newspapers or watched the news.

This is what she said on the subject:

“ I refuse to clutter my mind with most media turbulence.

The media is good at stirring up our emotions and selling fear. 

If you read a newspaper from cover to cover every day, you’ll live in fear. 

They want you to buy a new paper each day to find out what to be afraid of that day. 

It’s the same with the television news. 

If you want to sleep poorly, watch the late-night news just before you go to sleep.”

So, let’s remember that we each live under the law of our own consciousness.

You are a beautiful, wonderful creation of the universe.

Your strength comes from your connection to the universe.

Let’s say, every time the thought of war or conflicts of any kind come to mind, and especially domestic violence, say with conviction:

THE WORLD IS BEING MADE A SAFE PLACE FOR ME, AND I AM CONTRIBUTING TO THAT SAFETY.
Louise Hay

The opening line of a song says: ” Let there be peace on earth, and let it begin with me. ”

We can make a difference.

Use your powerful mind to help create the world you want to live in.

Here is the link for the meditation and visualisation which can be listened to as many times as needed and of course, it can be shared with others who will benefit. It may help you to move on from the domestic abuse.

Meditation for Victims of Domestic Violence

If this feels all too familiar, life can be so so difficult for you and if children are involved, of course, it can be even worse. It could be like you’re living a life of torture every day.

Reach out – there are organisations that you can speak to if you can’t talk to anyone close. Here are some websites and numbers:

Domestic Abuse National helplines

Domestic Violence Assist

Specialises in assistance to obtain emergency injunctions from being further abused.

Phone: 0800 195 8699

National Centre for Domestic Violence

Specialises in assistance to get emergency injunctions from being further abused.

Phone: 0800 970 2070

Women’s Aid Domestic Violence Helpline

Free 24-hour national helpline run by Women’s Aid and Refuge.

Phone: 0808 2000 247

Hourglass

The Hourglass confidential helpline provides information and support to anyone concerned about harm, abuse or exploitation of an older person.

Phone: 0808 808 8141

Men’s Advice Line

Confidential helpline for male victims of domestic abuse.

Phone: 0808 801 0327

National LGBT Domestic Abuse Helpline

Emotional and practical support for LGBT+ people.

Phone: 0800 999 5428

National Stalking Helpline

Guidance on the law, how to report stalking, gathering evidence, staying safe and reducing the risk.

Phone: 0808 802 0300

Victim Support

Free and confidential help to victims of crime, witnesses, their family and friends.

Phone: 0808 1689 111

You are never alone.

Maybe you have moved on from an emotionally, sexually and/or physically abusive relationship but you are very much feeling the trauma in your body. It could be that you are worried about repeating those patterns.

By working with me over my 6 Love Yourself Coaching sessions, you can let go of the past for good and move on from domestic abuse.

You can write a new story for yourself AND have real hope and optimism for the future – here is a link to my contact page where you can book in a call to discuss how I may be able to help.

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Taking Time Out For You

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Text - Love is the great miracle cure. Loving ourselves works miracles in our lives. Louise Hay. Liz Doyle the positive change coach. This shows how taking time out is loving myself.

This summer, I decided to take a long old break – time out for me. I spent more than 2 months in Ireland and what a time I had!! Making the huge decision (which didn’t feel huge at all once I was there) to hold on to the house that my mum left me many years ago. I also spent lots of time with family and visitors – it was such a delight and much needed. The house mum (and dad but it was definitely her dream) had built back in the 70’s means a lot to us but not just the house. She was born in the house in the next field and it’s almost has a spiritual resonance.

The house been rented out for a long time and this year was decision time. Keep it and renovate it for Airbnb rental and family time and fun or let it go with love.

And as I said, we’re keeping it. The house is so unique – it’s in such a quiet and private spot and yet 15 minutes from Clonakilty, 50 minutes from Cork Airport and Kinsale but above all, 20 minutes from the beach and the Wild Atlantic Way.

Yes it’s trapped in the 70’s but with some ideas, inspiration and a load of cash, it can be returned to its former glory but very much with 2020s comforts and vibe (keeping some features like the pink downstairs loo).

Ideas will be so welcome as we start this journey so feel free to get in touch!

But what happens when we take that break?

But I digress! I also spent the time in Ireland reflecting on what is important to me and what I really want. I’ve realised the older I’m getting, the more that matters – what matters to me, nobody else but me. But it’s still a tricky one to be honest as I have spent so many years putting others first!!! Does that resonate?

But the longer I have left writing a blog, sending out my love letter, or posting on social media etc, it has made me question what my contribution is. I had become a bit jaded of marketing my business so the break has been such a sweet relief but it now feels so hard to jump or even ease myself back in. If you have your own business, this might resonate with you?

If you have struggled recently, with relationships, with your weight, your business/job, feelings of not being good enough, or life in general, please remember you are never alone – we all struggle and that’s also okay ♥️

There is no question that I am continuing my work as I truly love showing women how they can leave behind past trauma and a lack of self-love and move into a beautiful relationship with themselves, and therefore others. It’s so much part of who I am – sharing Louise Hay’s teachings in a way that is aligned to me.

How I Help Women During My Online Coaching Sessions

This is what we work on:

How our thoughts and beliefs shape our lives
Awareness of negative thoughts and how to change them
Family patterns and how they affect our lives and choices
Healing the child within us
Dealing with difficult emotions
Forgiving ourselves and others
Unlocking a new future by learning to love ourselves and others
Creating healthy relationships
Freeing ourselves from damaging patterns and behaviour
Finding a sense of purpose
Writing a new story for our lives

Find out more about how you can work with me here

BUT, there are so many personal development programmes out there promising to fix your problems and giving you all the answers. We don’t need fixing AND we have the answers inside of us. Oh, AND we’re never done with this work.

By developing such a strong sense of self love, awareness and inner trust, we can learn to KNOW that we have everything we need inside of us.

My own healing journey has shifted to self acceptance and trust – and what a journey!

So here I am – vulnerable and full of self compassion and I am asking you to do the same for you.

Be your unapologetic, beautiful self.

Whole.

Open hearted.

Fear is such an obstacle to growth and I continue to dip in and out of fear.

Do we ever escape it?

But I’m reminding myself that it’s easier to drop into the waves and trust myself to float when I don’t struggle against them.

I’m sure I have shared this beautiful affirmation from Louise Hay before but I don’t think we can ever be reminded too many times that loving ourselves is the most important thing we can do for ourselves:

“Love is the great miracle cure. Loving ourselves works miracles in our lives”
Louise Hay

Are you afraid to take a break?

If fear of the future or even taking that time out make you feel anxious, or maybe feelings of anxiety seem to be running the show, this link for my root chakra meditation can help.

Meditation is a wonderful act of self love. We will be taking a journey through the chakras to get in touch with the essence of who we are. So subscribe to my Youtube channel so you don’t miss out on more videos and meditations.

The word Chakra is a Sanksrit word, meaning “wheel” or “circle”, and it refers to the individual circular spinning wheels of energy located throughout the body. The Chakra System is a complex network of energy channels connecting these wheels and is mapped throughout the whole body.

The root chakra meditation will help you feel grounded. It will remind you that you are always safe and it’s safe to make the positive changes that you want in your life.

You just need a few minutes to take some time for yourself and sit or lie down quietly . So, of course, do not drive nor use any machinery when listening to the meditation.

Would you like to receive my regular love letters which will inspire, support and uplift you? Yes? Then sign up for my 7 Simple Morning Rituals for a Beautiful Day ☀️🌈 here and you will get to receive the love letter every week or two.

I’d love to hear from you – let me know if you found this blog interesting or helpful. Is taking time out for you important to you?

#louisehay #timeout #timetorelax #selfcompassion

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Calling All High Achievers

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High Achievers. An image of a woman pointing to the centre of a target board. And an image of Liz Doyle the positive change coach

So many of my clients are or have been high achievers in their careers. When they come to me, they talk with pride about what they do within their work BUT there is a feeling of needing to do more and more. They often say that they are always striving to prove themselves and so that means they have to do more – be more.

High Achievers, I have a few questions for you..

If your job title or position within your organisation was taken away, would you feel you were good enough? 🤔

If you weren’t earning the salary or making the money you are making, would you feel good enough? 🤔

If these outward signs of achievement were stripped from you, who would you be? 🤔

I am not saying that working to make more money or career advancement doesn’t matter but it isn’t who we are. It is not solely why we are here.

I think we can so easily lose sight of who we truly are and I think that’s why so women want to work with me. They want to come back to that person again. They want to know their worth and know they are always good enough, without having to prove it to others or themselves.

No validation needed…

If you feel you might be a high functioning, high (or maybe over) achiever, then the following might resonate with you:

You’re hardworking (obvs) but you often find yourself overthinking and overanalysing what others say to you 😳
You’re feeling overwhelmed and burnt out because you’re so detail oriented and a perfectionist 😳
You’re ambitious which leads you to not honouring your boundaries and not being able to say no 😳
You’re organised and well prepared and sometimes wonder if you have a deep need to be busy all the time to obtain approval 😳
On the outside you appear calm but on the inside you have unrealistic expectations of yourself and others 😳
Although it would appear you do well under pressure, the reality is you’re busy people pleasing, have a deep fear of failure and can be full of self-doubt 😳

I know this looks like a lot but MAGIC always happens on the other side of AWARENESS.

These patterns in our lives all start in our childhood so by going back and just observing where these core limiting beliefs came from can be so powerful. By doing this, we can start to unravel these old stories and negative messages to gently change our lives so that we can truly love who we are. The ripple effect of all of this can have such a profound on everyone around us too.

You deserve the best and you are always worthy. Just remind yourself of that.

Fancy a confidential chat about what I do? Maybe go to my Work With Me Page first?

This link will give you access to my diary so you can book in a call with me.

So high achievers, hands up 🙋🏻‍♀️🙋🏻‍♀️🙋🏻‍♀️

Or do you know some high achievers or over achievers? Maybe share this blog with them…

Or maybe you used to be a higher achiever and you’ve moved beyond always having to do more? I would love to know.

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Do you BELIEVE you can change?

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We’re having some amazing group calls for the 21 Days To Letting Go Of The Weight course but last week’s call was a biggie!!! 🦋

We looked at 3 questions:

1) Do you know you need to change?

2) Do you know that while circumstances may not be your fault, change is down to you?

3) Do you believe that you can change? 🐛🦋

And it was Number 3 that everyone has the most difficulty with. Having that belief in ourselves that we can let go of the weight (maybe after years and years of holding on to it) can be so tough. Some major sh*t came up.

I asked the women on the call to think of a time when they had made a major change in their lives. A couple of things that came up were giving up smoking and walking away from their career to start their own business. These were big things to change so I asked could they find something visual to remind themselves of that change – eg, a big photo of a cigarette!!! 🚬

When we use visual anchors like this, we can literally anchor in the belief that we have made changes before so why can’t we make them now? It works!!!! ⚓️⚓️

Another important insight was that when we have been holding on to the weight it is because we don’t want to be visible – don’t want to be seen. This comes from a place of fear (often from our childhood or teenage years) so I suggested using a simple affirmation to say over and over and over again –

“It is safe for me to be seen” 🕶👀👓

Such a powerful session ♥️

This 21 Days To Letting Go Of The Weight course is for those who are pretty self motivated to get an online course done in their own time (it doesn’t have to happen in 21 Days, of course).

For more information on this incredible course where you can choose to watch the videos, listen to the meditations and complete the Loving Book work, at your own pace, follow this link. You can join the Facebook community for extra support and inspiration but only if this might be your thing. It’s not necessary for this course to work for you. There are also regular live group calls which can make such a difference to be in the presence of other women changing their lives. If you just want to watch the recordings, that’s also fine. There is no right or wrong in any of this.

If you feel like you’d need more accountability to get this done with me walking alongside you, let’s chat about how the premium programme can help you – follow this link to book in a time that’s good for you. If you don’t see any times that are good for you, drop me an email, using this link, and I’m sure we’ll find some time to talk.

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Are you ready to open up?

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Photo of Liz Doyle the Positive Change Coach with blossoms. Text - What are you open to?

What does the month of April mean?

I read this somewhere so thought I’d share just in case you like little facts like this!

April is rooted in the Latin verb “aperire” meaning “to open”, which could be a reference to the opening or blossoming of flowers and trees. Nice I thought 🌸🌸

When I discovered the power of Louise Hay’s work, I started feeling like I had been living in a kind of “winter” for a long time, and then I started “opening” to a newer and fresher period of my life.

Do you know why? Because I learnt how to be happy with who I am and how to communicate what I wanted to communicate.

The reason why I am telling you this is because I would like to share my main 3 tips that can help you to “open up” to a better approach to all areas of your life.

1 – Shine a light on your negative thoughts and limiting beliefs

We are looking to see where our negative patterns came from. In order to change limiting beliefs, they must be brought out of the subconscious minds into our awareness If you’re not aware of what’s going on, then how can you change?

That’s why I say magic happens on the other side of awareness.

Awareness is truly the key to change. Negative life patterns can be eradicated with positive processing, but it takes time and practise. Your thoughts can change your life – honest!

When we become aware of our self-limiting beliefs, we can still love others fully but without feeling guilty or looking for approval. We are not driven by fear of abandonment. To heal, we need to become aware of our stored feelings, express them and release them. This work is all about awareness and going deeper each time and the deeper we go, the more we can transform our lives.

So, what are some of the beliefs and ideas you learned about yourself and the world around you growing up? Do they all serve you? If not, you can let them go.

2 – To open up, forgive!

Is there someone you can’t forgive? 😳 Or maybe more than one person?

A lot of my clients, at the beginning of our sessions, really don’t want to forgive those that have hurt them in life (and maybe are still hurting them).

This is really hard for them but when they start to realise that forgiving these people, sets them free – well I couldn’t be happier.

I know what it feels like to not want to forgive – I was so justified in holding on to my anger and resentment but bloody hell – when you start to forgive or even say “I am willing to forgive”, things start to shift.

What’s so wonderful is once they start forgiving, my clients often continue with the forgiveness exercises I share long after working with me – because, we’re never done and there’s always more to do. But that’s a good thing as it frees itself from our bodies and our minds so we can really enjoy life so much more. And isn’t that what life should be about?

Remembering that we are victims of victims really helps I think and it’s what I try to share in my sessions so that we can start to move on with our lives with love, compassion and forgiveness.

So WHY forgive? Because holding a place of “I am not willing to forgive” you are affecting your own well-being, physically, emotionally and spiritually.

People often hold back on forgiveness because they think it condones betrayal or abuse from the other person. It doesn’t. However, as long as you resist forgiveness, you are giving the other person or situation power over you. You are allowing yourself to be held hostage. In a way, forgiving others is selfish because you are choosing freedom for yourself over blaming someone else and staying a victim.

“ You can never be free of bitterness as long as you continue to think unforgiving thoughts. How can you be happy in this moment if you continue to choose to be angry and resentful? Thoughts of bitterness can’t create joy. No matter how justified you feel you are, no matter what “they” did, if you insist on holding on to the past, then you will never be free. Forgiving yourself and others will release you from the prison of the past. ”
Louise Hay

The most difficult person to forgive is often ourselves.

Do you feel the same?

Forgive yourself.

Let the past go.

You did the best you could at the time with the understanding, awareness & knowledge that you had. Now you are growing & changing and you will live life differently.

3 – Love Yourself a little bit more every day

We’re not going to love ourselves totally in one day, but we can love ourselves a little bit more every day.

Each day, we give ourselves a little bit more love, and in 2 or 3 months, we will have come so much further in loving ourselves.

Criticism breaks the inner spirit. Praise builds it up. So, praise yourself as much as you can. Tell yourself how well you are doing with every little thing. A lot of us were told growing up don’t get too big for your boots or who do you think you are – maybe you spoke up for yourself, but those messages still get absorbed.

Begin with little things. Tell yourself that you are wonderful. If you do it once and then stop, it doesn’t work. Keep at it, even if it’s one minute at a time. Believe me, it does get easier.

Express this growing sense of love you have for yourself while looking in the mirror. At least once a day say: “I love you, I really love you!” Events come and go, but the love that you have for yourself is constant, and it is the most important quality you possess in your life.

LOVE YOURSELF – DO IT NOW! Are you waiting to get it right? Don’t wait until you lose the weight; put the weight on; or get the new job; get more clients; more money or the new relationship. Dissatisfaction with yourself is a habit pattern. If you can be satisfied with yourself now – if you can love and approve of yourself now, then when good comes into your life, you will be able to enjoy it.

Once you learn to love yourself, you can begin to love and accept other people. This might sound very simplistic, but the quickest way to change any problem is to love who we are. It is amazing how the loving vibrations we send out will attract to us people who are loving.

It all begins with self-acceptance and self-love. You are not here to please other people or to live your life their way. You can only live it your own way and walk your own path.

You are here to learn and grow and to love yourself. So begin NOW and do the best you can.

So finally – are you ready to open up?

These were just 3 ways to open up to a new future. I have more, of course, but these are my top 3. If you need some more inspiration, have a look at my videos – Louise Hay’s How To Love Yourself, starting with Stop All Criticism. This is an ongoing process for me too because I am human, but compared to how I used to be, well, I am truly a different person.

Are you ready to open up? Stop all criticism

My coaching sessions are all about opening up to a new future, opening up to loving yourself. This link will take you to see how you can work with me or you might like to check out my online course, 21 Days To Letting Go Of The Weight.

I’d love to know what you think and I’m going to ask you again – are you ready to open up?

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Do you feel you don’t have enough?

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Photo of a field of sunflowers and text Do you have enough? and Liz Doyle the Positive Change Coach. This accompanies the blog - Do you feel you don’t have enough?

Not enough abundance and maybe not enough money?

Do you feel you don’t have enough? Money? Love? Time? ✨

For the rest of March because let’s face it, it is the spring cleaning month (not that I have ever spring cleaned in my life), I will be sharing ideas with my community how clearing out at home creates space. It creates space for some really great ways to allow some good stuff to come into your life.

That could be more loving relationships, more joy, better feelings of wellness and vitality and of course money!

I’ve been doing a bit of de-cluttering physically recently which always helps with clearing the clutter in my mind and also just shifting some energy.

I decided to collect all the loose change in the house and I mean everywhere and it really made me realise how I think of money. If I want more money, I need to look after what I have. I know I have come a long way thanks to Louise Hay but…..

It’s been a while since I’ve done any proper collecting of money around the house and it paid me such a great lesson✨✨

I’m very proud of my £30 for myself I’ve gleaned from everywhere else in the house too, plus around £14 in larger coins which means I have a lovely bulging purse for when I pass someone collecting in the street. And I have £30+ for the charities I had been collecting for as well.

I have also sorted old premium bonds I have had for years but at an old address! 💁🏻‍♀️

From all of this activity, I have already seen some amazing things happen in just a few days – some beautiful new clients seem to have popped out of nowhere for instance.

If you would like to welcome in more abundance, and let’s face it money, into your life, why not give this a go? What have you got to lose?

How we treat money like this is very symbolic to how we’re treating money in all areas of our lives.

And how you’re allowing yourself to receive.

You have to use what you already HAVE before the Universe sends you more. You have to create a vacuum.

Why would the Universe give you more, when you’re clogging up your flow – OR mistreating what you already have?

AND gratitude brings more abundance so feel the appreciation for all you have and you just keep on welcoming in more.

So, when you have a little time to yourself, why not look for ALL the loose coins and money lying around.

Bags 👜, pockets of your coats, your drawers and boxes, down the back of the sofa! 🛋

Count it all and see how much abundance you already have. 😊

You can put it in a really beautiful bowl, a pretty money box or cash it in.

I realised that all of these coins counted towards unappreciated and unacknowledged abundance – basically a metaphor for how money is treated in your life.

Giving your money a home means it can multiply like bunnies!!! 🐰🐰🐰

Let me know how you get on – having fun with these exercises is what it’s all about too 😉🤪

I’ll be looking at how de-cluttering can bring so much more joy and just peace into our lives over the coming days so if you’d like to get some more ideas to welcome in more abundance into your life, why not join my Facebook community here?

De-cluttering is very much part of letting go. Letting go of what’s no longer serving you or what’s not good for you. That’s why it forms an important part of my coaching and of course, my online course – 21 Days To Letting Go Of The Weight as the title implies. When it comes to binge and emotional eating, it’s never about the weight or the food but about what we need to let go of.

For more information on the 21 Days To Letting Go Of The Weight – follow this link.

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Need a good cuddle?

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Photos of people cuddling each other, their animals and themselves with text - Need a Cuddle? and Liz Doyle the Positive Change Coach. Blog about the Importance of Being Held

The Importance of Being Held

The average length of a hug between two people is 3 seconds. But I’m sure you’ve read or heard that researchers have discovered that when a hug lasts 20 seconds, there is a therapeutic effect on the body and mind. The reason is that a heartfelt embrace produces the hormone “oxytocin”, aka the love hormone. This has lots of benefits with our physical and mental health. It helps us to relax, to feel safe and calm our fears and anxiety.

So every time you hold a person in your arms, cuddle your child, give your dog or cat (if he/she will let you!) a hug, dance with your partner, or just put your arm around the shoulders of a friend, you are doing both of you a whole lot of good.

Here are some more reasons, according to scientific research, why we should hug more:

1. Hugging stimulates oxytocin (as I already mentioned)

Oxytocin is a neurotransmitter that acts on the brain’s emotional centre, promoting feelings of contentment, reducing anxiety and stress. It is the hormone responsible for us being here today! Oxytocin is released during childbirth, making our mothers forget about all of the terrible pain and trauma they endured bringing us into the world and making them want to still love and spend time with us (that does explain a lot after I gave birth). When we hug someone, oxytocin is released into our bodies by our pituitary gland, lowering both our heart rates and our cortisol levels. Cortisol is the hormone responsible for stress, high blood pressure, and heart disease so, of course, it is always good to lower cortisol.

2. Hugging Could Help Avoid Disease

Affection in the form of a cuddle has a direct affect on reducing stress which prevents many diseases. The Touch Research Institute at the University of Miami School of Medicine carried out more than 100 studies into touch and found evidence of significant effects, including faster growth in premature babies, reduced pain, decreased autoimmune disease symptoms, lowered glucose levels in children with diabetes, and improved immune systems in people with cancer.

3. A Cuddle Promotes Patience

Connections are fostered when people take the time to appreciate and acknowledge one another. A hug is one of the easiest ways to show appreciation for another person. We’re constantly rushing around or so it seems sometimes. By slowing down and taking a moment to offer sincere hugs throughout the day, we’re benefiting ourselves, others, and cultivating better patience within ourselves.

4. Activates the Thymus Gland

Hugs strengthen the immune system. The gentle pressure on the sternum and the emotional charge this creates activates the Solar Plexus Chakra. This stimulates the thymus gland, which regulates and balances the body’s production of white blood cells, which keep you healthy. I also practise a Thymus Gland activation process, I learned from the amazing energy healer, Deborah King – check out this link

The Importance of Being Held and how to activate the Thymus Gland

5. Promotes Self-Esteem and Self-Love

Having a cuddle boosts self-esteem, especially in children according to research. The tactile sense is all-important in babies, of course. A baby recognises its parents by touch at first. From the moment we’re born, our family’s touch shows us that we’re loved and special. The associations of self-worth and tactile sensations from our early years are still imbedded in our nervous system as adults. The cuddles we received from our parents or other care givers while growing up remain imprinted at a cellular level, and hugs remind us at a somatic level of that. Cuddles, therefore, connect us to our ability to love ourselves. Pretty profound eh?!

6. Non Verbal Communication

About 70% of communication is nonverbal. How we interpret someone’s body language can be based on just one gesture and hugging is an excellent method of expressing yourself nonverbally to another human being or animal. What a wonderful way to share the love and care you have for them by your embrace.

7. Cuddles Help Parasympathetic Balance

Hugs balance out the nervous system. The skin can sense the touch from a cuddle which connects with the brain through the vagus nerve. The effect in moisture and electricity in the skin suggests a more balanced state in the nervous system – parasympathetic.

8. Stimulates Serotonin

Reaching out and hugging releases endorphins and serotonin into the blood vessels and this causes pleasure, takes away pain and sadness. It can decrease the chances of getting heart problems as well as help to maintain a healthy weight. Even the cuddling of pets has a soothing effect that reduces stress levels.

9. Hugs Stimulate Dopamine Flow

Everything we do involves protecting and triggering dopamine flow, the pleasure and reward hormone. Apparently, low dopamine levels play a role in the disease Parkinson’s as well as depression. Dopamine is responsible for giving us that feel-good feeling, and it’s also responsible for motivation! Hugs stimulate the brain to release dopamine. Dopamine sensors are the areas that many stimulating drugs such as cocaine and alcohol target. So we can get the same release by cuddling our dog or even ourselves if nobody else is around.

So get hugging and cuddling from your heart with someone you care for, an animal you love and above all, yourself. Yes, stretch those arms around yourself and give yourself a big, heartfelt hug.

And if that wasn’t enough, to receive my latest love letter with the health benefits of smiling, get in contact here.

I would also love to hear from you with your thoughts on this blog. It’s always good to hear if you find it interesting and possibly inspiring.

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Could you be a perfectionist?

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Answer these questions to find out…

Do you worry about what people think of you?
Do you beat yourself up over the smallest thing that goes wrong?
Do you have to be the best in everything you do, even if it’s something you don’t care that much about?
Are you super critical and highly conscious of your own mistakes?
When things don’t turn out as perfectly as you had wanted, do you think about the outcome obsessively and how you could have done it differently?
Are you critical and highly conscious of other people’s mistakes?
Do you spend a lot of your time getting something just right even at the detriment of your health and well-being?
Do you set really high standards, seeing only black and white (no grey)?
Are you really sensitive and defensive towards criticism?
Do you get so obsessed about reaching your goal that you seldom, if ever, enjoy the journey?

If you said “yes” to ANY of the above questions, you’re a bit of a perfectionist. The more “yeses”, the more you succumb to perfectionism

Perfectionism is another pattern coming from a place of not feeling good enough. To heal the part of you that feels you’re not enough is to be aware of when you’re falling into the perfectionist story and then to consciously choose to take baby steps to get ahead. Good enough is ALWAYS great.

Being self-compassionate for our vulnerabilities is the best way to overcome perfectionism. When we become more loving and compassionate with ourselves, we can embrace our imperfections – yes really! Because, after all, we are imperfectly perfect human beings.

I love what Brené Brown has to say on the subject:

Perfectionism is a self-destructive and addictive belief system that fuels the thought: “If I look perfect, live perfectly, and do everything perfectly, I can avoid or minimize the painful feelings of shame, judgment, and blame.” We want to be perceived as perfect but that can never happen because there’s no way to control other people’s perception of you, regardless of how much time and energy you spend trying.”

Brené also says,

“It’s in the process of embracing our imperfections that we find our truest gifts and create our most meaningful connections. It’s only when you are able to say, ‘I’m struggling with this,’ or ‘I think I screwed up or made a mistake,’ or ‘I need your help,’ that you can deeply connect with others soul to soul.”

This a great short clip to check out

Getting over perfectionistm

Which areas of your life might you be a perfectionist? How does it feel to treat yourself more gently and with compassion? Realising that you are good enough and you’re always doing the best you can is such an important step in loving yourself more.

If you’d like to find out more about how you can work with me, have a look at this page.

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Thank You – Just Thank You

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Thank you from Liz Doyle - “May you have so much to be grateful for this year and always.” Louise Hay

So, the new year – 2022 is nearly here, and I just wanted to say thank you.

Thank you for being part of my journey of sharing Louise Hay’s work this year – however that has been. ✨

I wanted to let you know how grateful I am for all of your amazing notes of gratitude telling me how much this work has meant to you.

I am grateful to all of you who have trusted me to work with you so I can do what I love doing most. ✨

I am grateful to those of you who I have worked with and referred me to others so that they can also start to make those positive changes in their lives.

I am grateful to those of you who have read these blogs, joined my taster sessions, participated in my FB community, engaged with me on LinkedIn, read my love letters, and also watched my YouTube videos (here’s my video of Number 1 of Louise Hay’s 12 Ways to Love Yourself) ✨

Subscribe to my channel here

I am grateful to all of the publications, podcasters and other hosts who had me on as a guest so I can share with others what I do.

I am grateful to Jo and Maggie for all they do to help me in the background to enable me to impact women’s lives. ✨

I am grateful to all my teachers who have guided me this year and of course, especially, Louise Hay who continues to guide and teach me.

To all of my supporters, friends and family – I am grateful that you have continued to help in all the ways you have so I have had the experience of helping women change their lives. ✨

And lastly, to my daughters. I am grateful that Julia, Lydia and Grace have honoured me to be their mother. They continue to make a difference in my life every day and the joy I get from seeing them make their way in the world is beyond any words I can share here.

To close this is a perfect Louise Hay affirmation for you ♥️

“May you have so much to be grateful for this year and always.”

With so much love for a healthy, peaceful and joyful New Year

Liz ✨

P.S. I am taking bookings for my very special "Intentions Setting for 2022" session during January - get in contact here for more info

Contact

https://lizdoyle.net/contact/

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