SOMETIMES THE WEIGHT YOU NEED TO LET GO OF ISN’T ON YOUR BODY
Imagine we are all born with lots of pockets.
Imagine each time you go through some kind of trauma or negative event in your life, you put a stone in a pocket.
The size of the stone you put in would reflect the significance of that event.
If you appropriately dealt with the experience at the time, you get to take the stone out.
Chances are, by the time you get to, say, 40-50 years old, you may have a fair few stones in your pockets.
Imagine walking around with all those stones in your pockets.
How bogged down, held back and exhausted would you feel?
Well, this is essentially what we are all doing in life.
A lot of us are walking around with pockets full of stones.
Some people have a house full of clothes with pockets of stones, which leads to depression, anxiety and overwhelm.
Now imagine that you’d got into personal development early on.
Over the years, you’ve been dealing with each stone through counselling, coaching, energy work, talking to mates, forgiving people in your past… whatever way you need to in order to get rid of a few stones.
While you may still have a few stones to deal with, you can generally go about your day without feeling like you’re bogged down.
You realised over the years how much lighter you felt each time you deal with your stones.
And so these days, there are barely any stones going in your pockets because you choose to deal with the triggers along the way instead of resolving things later.
As a result, life is much happier!
You only have a few teeny pockets with pebbles in.
Much lighter!
I love this analogy for the emotional baggage that we accumulate that can hold us back.
Over the years we can feel so heavy and bogged down by our accumulated experiences and traumas.
This can lead to burnout, mental health issues and dependence on avoiding our emotions through addictive behaviour.
We realise we just aren’t who we used to be anymore.
When you start healing the shit that’s holding you back, interesting things happen to your body and mind.
Body weight can suddenly start dropping off after years of yo-yo dieting.
We feel lighter not just physically, but mentally too.
We feel more clarity around who we are and what we want in life.
We feel more able to set boundaries and love ourselves as a priority.
We start treating our bodies better because we love ourselves more.
We feel happier.
Want some of that?
I created my online course, “21 Days To Letting Go Of The Weight”, for exactly that reason.
My course is for those who are happy to get an online course done in their own time (it doesn’t have to be in 21 Days btw, you can go at your pace)
If you feel like you’d need more accountability to get this done with me walking alongside you, book in a call with me here and let’s chat about how the premium programme can help.
Yesterday, in my regular love letter, I shared this big old subject which can make some of us shudder. I know it can for me sometimes – are you living up to your true potential?
Not living up to my true potential!!
Oooh, I feel better just for sharing that and I realise that it may make me sound like some sort of high achiever but I have never ever identified with that term.
However, that question is there, sitting on my shoulder, occasionally whispering in my ear.
I went to a grammar school run by nuns (say no more) but I never reached my potential there as I wasn’t nurtured or encouraged.
I guess they did their best. But there were rigid frameworks of what academic path to take and if you didn’t fit into that shape then you were left adrift – very much adrift. I was definitely a round peg trying to be shoved into a square hole. Does that resonate? I spent most of my formative years feeling a little lost and I carried that with me for a long time until I discovered Louise Hay’s work and coaching.
Coming out of a toxic marriage was a HUGE catalyst for me to stop letting my life just pass me by. I’d had some amazing life experiences up until my mid 20’s but then they seemed to dry up (apart from having my 3 beautiful daughters in my 30’s, of course). Because of the exciting things I had been doing, this meant I had never embarked on a ‘career’ as such so was making do for a long time. Looking back, I realise I also never felt good enough to do more and so worked around my daughters which tbh, I don’t regret as those years were so precious.
I’m now 62 and am only just realising what I’m actually capable of and I am embracing it wholeheartedly.
So I am testament, it’s never ever too late. Helping women love themselves and accept themselves as they are is just life changing.
And life is also so much more than these achievements isn’t it? The richness of life is also in the smallest of moments where we just enjoy our friends’ laughter or watch a butterfly land on a flower. It really is about the rich tapestry of life and all that entails.
So what about you? Are you living up to your true potential? Is this linked to your work or maybe to other things in your life like charity work or hobbies? Or does the thought just make you shudder? I’d love to know.
The following quote has always fascinated me:
“What would you do if you knew you could not fail?”
This quote is attributed to Robert H Schuller as well as Eleanor Roosevelt
Drop me an email or a message and let me know.
Would you like to connect with your true self and realise your potential?
My diary is open if you’d like to have a call to see if we’d be a good fit or to find out about my online course, you can book here or have a peek at the rest of my website here.
This is such a perfect affirmation for the subject of living to your true potential
” I have the courage to live my dreams “
Louise Hay
P.S. If you would like to receive my fortnightly love letter with ideas and inspiration for loving yourself more, follow this link and you will also receive my 7 Simple Morning Rituals for a Beautiful Day.
Want a chat about my 1 to 1 coaching or my online course “21 Days To Letting Go Of The Weight”?
I had such an extraordinary session with my client recently where we looked at her blocks around her work life and also prosperity. In fact, the same session with another client, last week, was also really insightful. I am seeing a real pattern with a lot of my clients where they have experienced workplace bullying. This has normally been from their upline manager and their lives have been made so difficult that they felt, at the time, they had no choice but to leave. 😢
In a couple of cases, clients decided to start to work for themselves as they couldn’t face experiencing such potentially toxic and damaging treatment again.
The effect that this bullying has had on them has been so bad that they were physically unwell and psychologically traumatised for months and months afterwards. The long term effects can’t really be quantified.
By working with me, they have been able to let go of so much of the guilt and shame as well as self-blame around the whole situation or maybe situations if they encountered more than one bully.
We have been able to start to forgive the people involved and see where so many patterns have come from. To break those patterns is such a rewarding exercise.
I shared a post on LinkedIn (follow this link) which got such interesting feedback and here are what some women said:
“When I read about people’s heartache and leaving good jobs on numerous occasions, turning job offers down for more favourable environments, being able to talk about it openly and honestly on LinkedIn and it makes me feel thoughtful and interested when I think about all the children and all the young people in education and in schools that do not have this luxury and are left suffering, many of them feeling that they have only one way to escape from the bully, suffering trauma, unable to gain an education.”
My response; ” But I also wonder if us adults feel that we can speak up. From my clients’, friends’ and even from people commenting on this post’s experiences, it would seem they felt unable to speak up. They feel that the only option is to leave which is really very sad.The more we talk about it, the more we might see some changes take place.”
Another said; ” Are the adults who are bullied in the workplace, the children and young people who was bullied in school?
I cannot imagine if one sailed through the education system without being bullied, to then come up against a bully in the workplace must be an overwhelming shock to one’s system.
On the other hand, I can imagine children and young people bullied in school and also bullied in the workplace, given they carry trauma from the past, unsure of what constructive criticism is, and on high alert for a repeat of what happened to them in school to happen again in the workplace, and many bullies will sense this.
My response; ” Your observation is quite similar to what I have found with some clients. It may have been bullying at school or from a parent/care giver and often, if we don’t deal with these patterns they can repeat themselves again and again in one way or another. “
S said; ” I seem to be a bit of a target. In fact, after the last time I left a workplace because of a bully, I swore I’d never go back to being employed in a workplace. Nearly 10 years on and I’m up for a job where I would have to go in and work with others. I’m almost inclined to turn it down even though I know I’ve got lots to offer because I’m afraid of what will happen. “
M’s comment; ” I have been bullied 3 times in the workplace, and left each time, I left good jobs. I run away from trouble.
When my Mother was dying of cancer one woman who was very controlling & opinionated upped her game and tried to put me under pressure. She manipulated other colleagues too. When Mum passed I had nothing left to give & left a job I loved. HR was dreadful, useless and my Manager was worse. I find that in my case other women’s insecurities played out and it manifested in their bullying nature. “
H commented; ” To be honest, the only way I’ve ever overcome workplace bullying was to leave! It’s so sad to think that there are so many people in jobs who feel they NEED to leave for their own mental health due to others poor behaviour.
I’ve left 2 jobs my my working life due to bullying, and at the time I thought leaving because of others, or because the company wouldn’t listen or even BELIEVE you, seems like the worst thing. But in hindsight I’ve learnt so much about working relationships and people skills that I know do consider it a blessing. “
Can you see a pattern with all of these comments? More needs to be done but looking back at the messages we received as children, at school and at home, can help us so much in interrupting these patterns.
After all of this response, I thought it would be really helpful to share this video which is an exercise I share with my clients. It’s very quick but can make a huge difference in lots of, potentially, challenging situations. Of course, this is another exercise originally shared by Louise Hay.
Blessing With Love by Louise Hay
If you have experienced workplace bullying, how bad was it and how did you overcome it? 💚
If you are seeing a pattern here and would like to break it, why not have a look at how I can help you here, and book in a chat with me, following this link.
We’re having some amazing group calls for the 21 Days To Letting Go Of The Weight course but last week’s call was a biggie!!! 🦋
We looked at 3 questions:
1) Do you know you need to change?
2) Do you know that while circumstances may not be your fault, change is down to you?
3) Do you believe that you can change? 🐛🦋
And it was Number 3 that everyone has the most difficulty with. Having that belief in ourselves that we can let go of the weight (maybe after years and years of holding on to it) can be so tough. Some major sh*t came up.
I asked the women on the call to think of a time when they had made a major change in their lives. A couple of things that came up were giving up smoking and walking away from their career to start their own business. These were big things to change so I asked could they find something visual to remind themselves of that change – eg, a big photo of a cigarette!!! 🚬
When we use visual anchors like this, we can literally anchor in the belief that we have made changes before so why can’t we make them now? It works!!!! ⚓️⚓️
Another important insight was that when we have been holding on to the weight it is because we don’t want to be visible – don’t want to be seen. This comes from a place of fear (often from our childhood or teenage years) so I suggested using a simple affirmation to say over and over and over again –
“It is safe for me to be seen” 🕶👀👓
Such a powerful session ♥️
This 21 Days To Letting Go Of The Weight course is for those who are pretty self motivated to get an online course done in their own time (it doesn’t have to happen in 21 Days, of course).
For more information on this incredible course where you can choose to watch the videos, listen to the meditations and complete the Loving Book work, at your own pace, follow this link. You can join the Facebook community for extra support and inspiration but only if this might be your thing. It’s not necessary for this course to work for you. There are also regular live group calls which can make such a difference to be in the presence of other women changing their lives. If you just want to watch the recordings, that’s also fine. There is no right or wrong in any of this.
If you feel like you’d need more accountability to get this done with me walking alongside you, let’s chat about how the premium programme can help you – follow this link to book in a time that’s good for you. If you don’t see any times that are good for you, drop me an email, using this link, and I’m sure we’ll find some time to talk.
I read this somewhere so thought I’d share just in case you like little facts like this!
April is rooted in the Latin verb “aperire” meaning “to open”, which could be a reference to the opening or blossoming of flowers and trees. Nice I thought 🌸🌸
When I discovered the power of Louise Hay’s work, I started feeling like I had been living in a kind of “winter” for a long time, and then I started “opening” to a newer and fresher period of my life.
Do you know why? Because I learnt how to be happy with who I am and how to communicate what I wanted to communicate.
The reason why I am telling you this is because I would like to share my main 3 tips that can help you to “open up” to a better approach to all areas of your life.
1 – Shine a light on your negative thoughts and limiting beliefs
We are looking to see where our negative patterns came from. In order to change limiting beliefs, they must be brought out of the subconscious minds into our awareness If you’re not aware of what’s going on, then how can you change?
That’s why I say magic happens on the other side of awareness.
Awareness is truly the key to change. Negative life patterns can be eradicated with positive processing, but it takes time and practise. Your thoughts can change your life – honest!
When we become aware of our self-limiting beliefs, we can still love others fully but without feeling guilty or looking for approval. We are not driven by fear of abandonment. To heal, we need to become aware of our stored feelings, express them and release them. This work is all about awareness and going deeper each time and the deeper we go, the more we can transform our lives.
So, what are some of the beliefs and ideas you learned about yourself and the world around you growing up? Do they all serve you? If not, you can let them go.
2 – To open up, forgive!
Is there someone you can’t forgive? 😳 Or maybe more than one person?
A lot of my clients, at the beginning of our sessions, really don’t want to forgive those that have hurt them in life (and maybe are still hurting them).
This is really hard for them but when they start to realise that forgiving these people, sets them free – well I couldn’t be happier.
I know what it feels like to not want to forgive – I was so justified in holding on to my anger and resentment but bloody hell – when you start to forgive or even say “I am willing to forgive”, things start to shift.
What’s so wonderful is once they start forgiving, my clients often continue with the forgiveness exercises I share long after working with me – because, we’re never done and there’s always more to do. But that’s a good thing as it frees itself from our bodies and our minds so we can really enjoy life so much more. And isn’t that what life should be about?
Remembering that we are victims of victims really helps I think and it’s what I try to share in my sessions so that we can start to move on with our lives with love, compassion and forgiveness.
So WHY forgive? Because holding a place of “I am not willing to forgive” you are affecting your own well-being, physically, emotionally and spiritually.
People often hold back on forgiveness because they think it condones betrayal or abuse from the other person. It doesn’t. However, as long as you resist forgiveness, you are giving the other person or situation power over you. You are allowing yourself to be held hostage. In a way, forgiving others is selfish because you are choosing freedom for yourself over blaming someone else and staying a victim.
“ You can never be free of bitterness as long as you continue to think unforgiving thoughts. How can you be happy in this moment if you continue to choose to be angry and resentful? Thoughts of bitterness can’t create joy. No matter how justified you feel you are, no matter what “they” did, if you insist on holding on to the past, then you will never be free. Forgiving yourself and others will release you from the prison of the past. ”
Louise Hay
The most difficult person to forgive is often ourselves.
Do you feel the same?
Forgive yourself.
Let the past go.
You did the best you could at the time with the understanding, awareness & knowledge that you had. Now you are growing & changing and you will live life differently.
3 – Love Yourself a little bit more every day
We’re not going to love ourselves totally in one day, but we can love ourselves a little bit more every day.
Each day, we give ourselves a little bit more love, and in 2 or 3 months, we will have come so much further in loving ourselves.
Criticism breaks the inner spirit. Praise builds it up. So, praise yourself as much as you can. Tell yourself how well you are doing with every little thing. A lot of us were told growing up don’t get too big for your boots or who do you think you are – maybe you spoke up for yourself, but those messages still get absorbed.
Begin with little things. Tell yourself that you are wonderful. If you do it once and then stop, it doesn’t work. Keep at it, even if it’s one minute at a time. Believe me, it does get easier.
Express this growing sense of love you have for yourself while looking in the mirror. At least once a day say: “I love you, I really love you!” Events come and go, but the love that you have for yourself is constant, and it is the most important quality you possess in your life.
LOVE YOURSELF – DO IT NOW! Are you waiting to get it right? Don’t wait until you lose the weight; put the weight on; or get the new job; get more clients; more money or the new relationship. Dissatisfaction with yourself is a habit pattern. If you can be satisfied with yourself now – if you can love and approve of yourself now, then when good comes into your life, you will be able to enjoy it.
Once you learn to love yourself, you can begin to love and accept other people. This might sound very simplistic, but the quickest way to change any problem is to love who we are. It is amazing how the loving vibrations we send out will attract to us people who are loving.
It all begins with self-acceptance and self-love. You are not here to please other people or to live your life their way. You can only live it your own way and walk your own path.
You are here to learn and grow and to love yourself. So begin NOW and do the best you can.
So finally – are you ready to open up?
These were just 3 ways to open up to a new future. I have more, of course, but these are my top 3. If you need some more inspiration, have a look at my videos – Louise Hay’s How To Love Yourself, starting with Stop All Criticism. This is an ongoing process for me too because I am human, but compared to how I used to be, well, I am truly a different person.
My coaching sessions are all about opening up to a new future, opening up to loving yourself. This link will take you to see how you can work with me or you might like to check out my online course, 21 Days To Letting Go Of The Weight.
I’d love to know what you think and I’m going to ask you again – are you ready to open up?
I hope it’s a happy mothers day for all mother figures.
Here in the UK on Sunday, it was Mother’s Day and my daughters have always made a lovely fuss of me since they were very small. Some years they would all make me gorgeous home made gifts and cards. And I have treasured them all. As they are now all young women, they still give me flowers and sometimes make me something (this year my youngest made me a beautifully printed card) but… those extra special cuddles and kisses are not so numerous which is how life is and that’s OK.
But it hasn’t always been an easy day because my relationship with my mum was not an easy one and she wasn’t a very easy woman to love. She was distant and cold as well as being pretty angry most of the time. I now really understand and “get” her story of what made her that way. I have forgiven her many times although she passed quite a while ago and know that she couldn’t really give the love she was never given in the first place. Because of Louise Hay, I totally understand that she was doing the best she could at the time with the knowledge, awareness and understanding that she had then.
Here’s a very short video on why forgiveness sets you free 🦋
Video – Forgiveness
Mother’s Day can be a difficult day
I know I’m not the only one who has found Mother’s Day a difficult day. Maybe because you don’t get on or she’s no longer around or you can’t get to see her. And of course, it can so very hard for those who are not able to have children when that’s all they want in the world. These sorts of days can be really difficult reminders especially when we see all the happy posts on social media.
All kinds of mums
Nowadays, I understand that Mother’s Day isn’t just for birth mothers but all kinds. It’s also for them.
Mum who has a lost a child
Adoptive mum
IVF mum
Surrogate mum
Dad who has to be a mum too
Mum of her furbabies
Mum of a special needs child
Mum of a child with health challenges
Mum who feels like she’s failing
You are not forgotten and you are never alone and if I’ve missed any other kind of mum, it wasn’t intentional.
What goes on in that womb!
I have been reading up a bit more about what happens as the baby grows inside the mother and although I knew a fair bit (I am a mum of 3 girls after all), I have either forgotten some of this or never knew it in the first place. It just blew me away.
When pregnant, the cells of the baby migrate into the mother’s bloodstream and then circle back into the baby, it’s called “fetal-maternal microchimerism”.
For 41 weeks, the cells circulate and merge backwards and forwards, and after the baby is born, many of these cells stay in the mother’s body, leaving a permanent imprint in the mother’s tissues, bones, brain, and skin, and often stay there for decades. Every single child a mother has afterwards will leave a similar imprint on her body, too.
Even if a pregnancy doesn’t go to full term, these cells still migrate into your bloodstream which is a lovely thing to know as I miscarried two babies.
Research has shown that if a mother’s heart is injured, fetal cells will rush to the site of the injury and change into different types of cells that specialise in mending the heart.
The baby helps repair the mother, while the mother builds the baby.
How cool is that?
This is often why certain illnesses vanish while a woman is pregnant (now so much makes sense).
It’s incredible how the mother’s body protects the baby at all costs, and the baby protects and rebuilds the mother back – so that the baby can develop safely and survive.
Studies have also shown cells from a fetus in a mothers brain eighteen years after she gave birth. How amazing is that?
If you’re a mum, you know how you can intuitively feel your child even when they are not there…
Well, now there is scientific proof that mums carry them for years and years even after they have given birth to them.
I think this is all so beautiful.
Why is Mother’s Day different in the UK?
Where does Mothering Sunday in the UK originate from? I’ve been looking this up too
It always falls on the 4th Sunday in Lent – exactly 3 weeks before Easter, in the UK and some others parts of the world.
Originating in the Middle ages when children who were employed in domestic service were allowed to go home to their “mother church” – so the connection with mothers was not as we celebrate it today.
Naturally the journey home became an opportunity for families to get together and the children would pick flowers for their mothers on their way home.
It was also a time when the fasting rules of Lent were slightly relaxed, and also it became known as Simnel Sunday – a day when Simnel cakes are traditionally baked.
Mothering Sunday is celebrated on different days around the world – in the U.S and most of Europe this year it will be on 8th May and in France they celebrate on the last Sunday in May.
If you are lucky enough to have your mother still with you and you have a loving and nourishing relationship- treasure and value that relationship. But we know there can be so many motherly figures who can fulfil that role. The most important thing is to know you are always loved.
If you would like to find out more about how I can help you move on from difficult relationships and know that you are always enough just as you are, follow this link
Do you feel you don’t have enough?Money? Love? Time? ✨
For the rest of March because let’s face it, it is the spring cleaning month (not that I have ever spring cleaned in my life), I will be sharing ideas with my community how clearing out at home creates space. It creates space for some really great ways to allow some good stuff to come into your life.
That could be more loving relationships, more joy, better feelings of wellness and vitality and of course money!
I’ve been doing a bit of de-cluttering physically recently which always helps with clearing the clutter in my mind and also just shifting some energy.
I decided to collect all the loose change in the house and I mean everywhere and it really made me realise how I think of money. If I want more money, I need to look after what I have. I know I have come a long way thanks to Louise Hay but…..
It’s been a while since I’ve done any proper collecting of money around the house and it paid me such a great lesson✨✨
I’m very proud of my £30 for myself I’ve gleaned from everywhere else in the house too, plus around £14 in larger coins which means I have a lovely bulging purse for when I pass someone collecting in the street. And I have £30+ for the charities I had been collecting for as well.
I have also sorted old premium bonds I have had for years but at an old address! 💁🏻♀️
From all of this activity, I have already seen some amazing things happen in just a few days – some beautiful new clients seem to have popped out of nowhere for instance.
If you would like to welcome in more abundance, and let’s face it money, into your life, why not give this a go? What have you got to lose?
How we treat money like this is very symbolic to how we’re treating money in all areas of our lives.
And how you’re allowing yourself to receive.
You have to use what you already HAVE before the Universe sends you more. You have to create a vacuum.
Why would the Universe give you more, when you’re clogging up your flow – OR mistreating what you already have?
AND gratitude brings more abundance so feel the appreciation for all you have and you just keep on welcoming in more.
So, when you have a little time to yourself, why not look for ALL the loose coins and money lying around.
Bags 👜, pockets of your coats, your drawers and boxes, down the back of the sofa! 🛋
Count it all and see how much abundance you already have. 😊
You can put it in a really beautiful bowl, a pretty money box or cash it in.
I realised that all of these coins counted towards unappreciated and unacknowledged abundance – basically a metaphor for how money is treated in your life.
Giving your money a home means it can multiply like bunnies!!! 🐰🐰🐰
Let me know how you get on – having fun with these exercises is what it’s all about too 😉🤪
I’ll be looking at how de-cluttering can bring so much more joy and just peace into our lives over the coming days so if you’d like to get some more ideas to welcome in more abundance into your life, why not join my Facebook community here?
De-cluttering is very much part of letting go. Letting go of what’s no longer serving you or what’s not good for you. That’s why it forms an important part of my coaching and of course, my online course – 21 Days To Letting Go Of The Weight as the title implies. When it comes to binge and emotional eating, it’s never about the weight or the food but about what we need to let go of.
For more information on the 21 Days To Letting Go Of The Weight – follow this link.
The average length of a hug between two people is 3 seconds. But I’m sure you’ve read or heard that researchers have discovered that when a hug lasts 20 seconds, there is a therapeutic effect on the body and mind. The reason is that a heartfelt embrace produces the hormone “oxytocin”, aka the love hormone. This has lots of benefits with our physical and mental health. It helps us to relax, to feel safe and calm our fears and anxiety.
So every time you hold a person in your arms, cuddle your child, give your dog or cat (if he/she will let you!) a hug, dance with your partner, or just put your arm around the shoulders of a friend, you are doing both of you a whole lot of good.
Here are some more reasons, according to scientific research, why we should hug more:
1. Hugging stimulates oxytocin (as I already mentioned)
Oxytocin is a neurotransmitter that acts on the brain’s emotional centre, promoting feelings of contentment, reducing anxiety and stress. It is the hormone responsible for us being here today! Oxytocin is released during childbirth, making our mothers forget about all of the terrible pain and trauma they endured bringing us into the world and making them want to still love and spend time with us (that does explain a lot after I gave birth). When we hug someone, oxytocin is released into our bodies by our pituitary gland, lowering both our heart rates and our cortisol levels. Cortisol is the hormone responsible for stress, high blood pressure, and heart disease so, of course, it is always good to lower cortisol.
2. Hugging Could Help Avoid Disease
Affection in the form of a cuddle has a direct affect on reducing stress which prevents many diseases. The Touch Research Institute at the University of Miami School of Medicine carried out more than 100 studies into touch and found evidence of significant effects, including faster growth in premature babies, reduced pain, decreased autoimmune disease symptoms, lowered glucose levels in children with diabetes, and improved immune systems in people with cancer.
3. A Cuddle Promotes Patience
Connections are fostered when people take the time to appreciate and acknowledge one another. A hug is one of the easiest ways to show appreciation for another person. We’re constantly rushing around or so it seems sometimes. By slowing down and taking a moment to offer sincere hugs throughout the day, we’re benefiting ourselves, others, and cultivating better patience within ourselves.
4. Activates the Thymus Gland
Hugs strengthen the immune system. The gentle pressure on the sternum and the emotional charge this creates activates the Solar Plexus Chakra. This stimulates the thymus gland, which regulates and balances the body’s production of white blood cells, which keep you healthy. I also practise a Thymus Gland activation process, I learned from the amazing energy healer, Deborah King – check out this link
The Importance of Being Held and how to activate the Thymus Gland
5. Promotes Self-Esteem and Self-Love
Having a cuddle boosts self-esteem, especially in children according to research. The tactile sense is all-important in babies, of course. A baby recognises its parents by touch at first. From the moment we’re born, our family’s touch shows us that we’re loved and special. The associations of self-worth and tactile sensations from our early years are still imbedded in our nervous system as adults. The cuddles we received from our parents or other care givers while growing up remain imprinted at a cellular level, and hugs remind us at a somatic level of that. Cuddles, therefore, connect us to our ability to love ourselves. Pretty profound eh?!
6. Non Verbal Communication
About 70% of communication is nonverbal. How we interpret someone’s body language can be based on just one gesture and hugging is an excellent method of expressing yourself nonverbally to another human being or animal. What a wonderful way to share the love and care you have for them by your embrace.
7. Cuddles Help Parasympathetic Balance
Hugs balance out the nervous system. The skin can sense the touch from a cuddle which connects with the brain through the vagus nerve. The effect in moisture and electricity in the skin suggests a more balanced state in the nervous system – parasympathetic.
8. Stimulates Serotonin
Reaching out and hugging releases endorphins and serotonin into the blood vessels and this causes pleasure, takes away pain and sadness. It can decrease the chances of getting heart problems as well as help to maintain a healthy weight. Even the cuddling of pets has a soothing effect that reduces stress levels.
9. Hugs Stimulate Dopamine Flow
Everything we do involves protecting and triggering dopamine flow, the pleasure and reward hormone. Apparently, low dopamine levels play a role in the disease Parkinson’s as well as depression. Dopamine is responsible for giving us that feel-good feeling, and it’s also responsible for motivation! Hugs stimulate the brain to release dopamine. Dopamine sensors are the areas that many stimulating drugs such as cocaine and alcohol target. So we can get the same release by cuddling our dog or even ourselves if nobody else is around.
So get hugging and cuddling from your heart with someone you care for, an animal you love and above all, yourself. Yes, stretch those arms around yourself and give yourself a big, heartfelt hug.
And if that wasn’t enough, to receive my latest love letter with the health benefits of smiling, get in contact here.
I would also love to hear from you with your thoughts on this blog. It’s always good to hear if you find it interesting and possibly inspiring.
You’d need to be living under a rock not to have noticed it was Valentine’s Day yesterday, don’t you think? What is Valentine’s Day all about anyway?
There is so much hype about this one day of the year.
Valentine’s Day can be such a tricky day for those not in a relationship. It can also be pretty tricky for those in a relationship that isn’t thriving and loving and empowering.
You’ll probably guess where I’m going to go with this post – start with yourself.
No matter if you’re in a relationship or not – Be your own Valentine and it really shouldn’t be for just one day.
What did you give yourself yesterday? 💌
What are you going to give yourself tomorrow? 🥰
When was the last time you had a date? 🍽
With yourself? 😊
Bought yourself some flowers… 💐 some REALLY good chocolate? 🍫
On St Val’s day, I romanced myself. I gave myself some love. In lots of small ways but they make such a difference.
One of them is to affirm:
“I am loved. I am loving. I am lovable.”
Louise Hay
Say it with me 😊♥️♥️
If you’re looking for more connection, more meaning, and more happiness in your life, then you need to LOVE yourself first 😊♥️
Look at yourself in the mirror and say:
“I love you, I really, really love you”.
Here are some other things you can try to give love to yourself:
😍 Massage some love into your face, maybe with some oils – a little bit of almond oil with rose (the essential oil of self-love) or lavender is fantastic but any oil or even a moisturiser will do just as well.
🥰 Close your eyes. Breathe in love into your heart centre. Breathe out love to everyone in the world (this is magical).
👣 Give yourself a mini pedicure – fill a bowl with warm water and some Epsom salts for all that yummy magnesium and soak up all that love there is for you.
🗣 Whisper sweet nothings to yourself. Tell yourself how proud you are of how far you have come.
✍️ Connect with your inner child or inner teenager by writing a love letter to yourself as you were at a time when you needed some extra love and support. Look at my earlier blog about connecting with your inner child here.
♥️ Forgive yourself. Remind yourself that you were doing the best you could at the time, with the knowledge, awareness and understanding you had at that time. Say it out loud – “I forgive you”.
😘 Are there are any parts of yourself that you are ashamed of? It is so so important to give love to those parts that you hold shame over. Let it all go.
For even more inspiration to love yourself more, go to my A to Z of Self-Love playlist and here is the link.
How are you going to love yourself even more for the rest of the month? Let me know 🥰
I’m going to close with another and super simple affirmation from the truly wonderful Louise Hay – “Life Loves Me!”
Do you beat yourself up over the smallest thing that goes wrong?
Do you have to be the best in everything you do, even if it’s something you don’t care that much about?
Are you super critical and highly conscious of your own mistakes?
When things don’t turn out as perfectly as you had wanted, do you think about the outcome obsessively and how you could have done it differently?
Are you critical and highly conscious of other people’s mistakes?
Do you spend a lot of your time getting something just right even at the detriment of your health and well-being?
Do you set really high standards, seeing only black and white (no grey)?
Are you really sensitive and defensive towards criticism?
Do you get so obsessed about reaching your goal that you seldom, if ever, enjoy the journey?
If you said “yes” to ANY of the above questions, you’re a bit of a perfectionist. The more “yeses”, the more you succumb to perfectionism
Perfectionism is another pattern coming from a place of not feeling good enough. To heal the part of you that feels you’re not enough is to be aware of when you’re falling into the perfectionist story and then to consciously choose to take baby steps to get ahead. Good enough is ALWAYS great.
Being self-compassionate for our vulnerabilities is the best way to overcome perfectionism. When we become more loving and compassionate with ourselves, we can embrace our imperfections – yes really! Because, after all, we are imperfectly perfect human beings.
I love what Brené Brown has to say on the subject:
Perfectionism is a self-destructive and addictive belief system that fuels the thought: “If I look perfect, live perfectly, and do everything perfectly, I can avoid or minimize the painful feelings of shame, judgment, and blame.” We want to be perceived as perfect but that can never happen because there’s no way to control other people’s perception of you, regardless of how much time and energy you spend trying.”
Brené also says,
“It’s in the process of embracing our imperfections that we find our truest gifts and create our most meaningful connections. It’s only when you are able to say, ‘I’m struggling with this,’ or ‘I think I screwed up or made a mistake,’ or ‘I need your help,’ that you can deeply connect with others soul to soul.”
This a great short clip to check out
Getting over perfectionistm
Which areas of your life might you be a perfectionist? How does it feel to treat yourself more gently and with compassion? Realising that you are good enough and you’re always doing the best you can is such an important step in loving yourself more.
If you’d like to find out more about how you can work with me, have a look at this page.
