October was first declared as National Domestic Violence Awareness Month in 1989. It’s a month focused on continuing to raise awareness of domestic abuse, giving a voice to its victims, and helping them move on from domestic abuse.

Yep, I know we know that Domestic Violence exists BUT how much are we really aware of the signs from friends and other loved ones who might be suffering in silence.

Silence because they are scared, frightened of what might happen if their dirty secret is revealed. What might happen to them and/or their children?

We can so easily look away when any subject that might be uncomfortable rears its ugly head – I know I do sometimes. I like to to focus on the positive things in life.

Of course I do! I’m a Positive Change Coach for f**k’s sake. And yes it does really really help.

However, sometimes, we have to face the facts of what’s going on and the more we are aware, the more we can help others or ourselves if we are the victims.

Every victim of domestic violence has a different, terrible story but some of the underlying details can be quite similar.

The thing is, she can feel like she’s the only person in the world going through it. I know men and gender fluids can also be victims BUT the vast majority of victims are women and often, their children because of what they witness and endure themselves.

I want these women to feel that they are seen, they are heard and acknowledged.

So, I’m talking Domestic Violence Awareness Month and possibly some new ideas of how women can move on from domestic abuse.

If you or anyone you know is in danger or just know it’s time to get out or get that person out, I am sharing some emergency and advice telephone numbers below.

I am spiritual but before I really understood the Law of Attraction or had immersed myself in the world of Louise Hay, I just trusted. I did what I had to do but once everything was set in motion, I just knew we were going to be alright. 

It wasn’t all plain sailing by any means but when I look back to who I was and to the person I am now, I am the same person but oh so different. I wish the same for you or the woman out there that you might know who is living this living nightmare.

Whilst it’s so important to stand up to any abusive behaviour, what I would like to see is a change in the whole perspective. 

This can be through education but I truly believe that if I had loved myself more, I wouldn’t have attracted someone like this person into my life in the first place.

Thankfully, I have been in such a good place for a long time now that I no longer regret it as it has made me who I am now and I really love that.

Also, if the abuser had loved himself more, then they would never have been in such a terrible place that they would get pleasure from making another human being suffer in any way. 

After all, as Louise Hay said, we are all victims of victims. 

Rather than just fighting domestic abuse, I’d love us to focus on a world where all humans respect and love each other. Where we accept each others’ differences and seek to heal our own mental wounds rather than lash out and make others hurt over and over again.

I know, it feels like a big ask but has the anti-war movement or fight against poverty really worked? 

I’d rather put my attention on a peaceful and loving world.

That is why I’m sharing this meditation – this is a meditation or even visualisation that can help women heal from the trauma as victims of domestic abuse – helping them move on from domestic abuse.

This could be happening right now, it could be recent or if they are still living with the trauma of past abuse and they are fearful of repeating the same pattern. 

Within this meditation, I also focus on welcoming in a world where there is only love. 

A big part of Louise Hay’s work involves meditations.

Here are a few science-based benefits of meditation

• Reduces stress. Stress reduction is one of the most common reasons people try meditation. … 
• Controls anxiety. … 
• Promotes emotional health. … 
• Enhances self-awareness. … 
• Lengthens attention span. … 
• May reduce age-related memory loss. … 
• May help fight addictions.

Anne Blythe, the founder of Betrayal Trauma Recovery said the following:

“ Many women who experience the trauma of abuse find themselves having difficulty processing that trauma and pain.

Meditation can help provide clarity and offer space for that processing to happen safely. “

There is evidence that where 1% of the population started meditating, the indicators of a better quality of life for all increased. 

For example, there was less crime recorded. 

If we are all connected, as I believe, then when many people are meditating and becoming more peaceful, that would clearly send out waves of peace and love and understanding. 

In the The New Science of Life by Rupert Sheldrake, he suggests there is a “morphogenic field” that contains all the thoughts there are. 

I would call this the universe, but he is a scientist! 

Sheldrake believes that as we put more thoughts of peace into this field, it will create more peace on the planet.

So, if we think in terms of solutions rather than problems, we assist the solutions needed for helping our planet. 

For example, if you focus on the “problems” of pollution or poverty, the problem is strengthened. 

If you focus on knowing that there are solutions, you are putting energy into finding the solution. 

Have you ever heard the phrase – what we resist persists? 

I think it’s so true… 

Don’t think of a pink elephant… What are you thinking of now?

So, in your personal life and our collective life, if you continue to complain and focus about a situation, the energy persists to continue the problem. 

If you are focused on the energy of a solution, even though you may have no idea what that solution is, you are giving energy to the solution. 

When Louise Hay heard of any crises in the world, she immediately surrounded the whole situation with white light.

She sent love and healing energy to everyone connected with it, including whoever may have done the damage. 

Rage and fear won’t heal anything. 

Hatred begets hatred. 

An “eye-for-eye” philosophy makes everyone blind.

Of course, she seldom read newspapers or watched the news. 

This is what she said on the subject:

“ I refuse to clutter my mind with most media turbulence.

The media is good at stirring up our emotions and selling fear. 

If you read a newspaper from cover to cover every day, you’ll live in fear. 

They want you to buy a new paper each day to find out what to be afraid of that day. 

It’s the same with the television news. 

If you want to sleep poorly, watch the late-night news just before you go to sleep.”
 

So, let’s remember that we each live under the law of our own consciousness. 

You are a beautiful, wonderful creation of the universe. 

Your strength comes from your connection to the universe. 

Let’s say, every time the thought of war or conflicts of any kind come to mind, and especially domestic violence, say with conviction:

THE WORLD IS BEING MADE A SAFE PLACE FOR ME, AND I AM CONTRIBUTING TO THAT SAFETY. 

Louise Hay

The opening line of a song says: ” Let there be peace on earth, and let it begin with me. ”

We can make a difference. 

Use your powerful mind to help create the world you want to live in.

Here is the link for the meditation and visualisation which can be listened to as many times as needed and of course, it can be shared with others who will benefit. It may help you to move on from the domestic abuse.

If this feels all too familiar, life can be so so difficult for you and if children are involved, of course, it can be even worse. It could be like you’re living a life of torture every day.

Reach out – there are organisations that you can speak to if you can’t talk to anyone close. Here are some websites and numbers:

Domestic Abuse National helplines

Domestic Violence Assist

Specialises in assistance to obtain emergency injunctions from being further abused.

Phone: 0800 195 8699

National Centre for Domestic Violence

Specialises in assistance to get emergency injunctions from being further abused.

Phone: 0800 970 2070

Women’s Aid Domestic Violence Helpline

Free 24-hour national helpline run by Women’s Aid and Refuge.

Phone: 0808 2000 247

Hourglass

The Hourglass confidential helpline provides information and support to anyone concerned about harm, abuse or exploitation of an older person.

Phone: 0808 808 8141

Men’s Advice Line 

Confidential helpline for male victims of domestic abuse.

Phone: 0808 801 0327

National LGBT Domestic Abuse Helpline 

Emotional and practical support for LGBT+ people.

Phone: 0800 999 5428

National Stalking Helpline

Guidance on the law, how to report stalking, gathering evidence, staying safe and reducing the risk.

Phone: 0808 802 0300

Victim Support

Free and confidential help to victims of crime, witnesses, their family and friends.

Phone: 0808 1689 111

You are never alone.

Maybe you have moved on from an emotionally, sexually and/or physically abusive relationship but you are very much feeling the trauma in your body. It could be that you are worried about repeating those patterns. 

By working with me over my 6 Love Yourself Coaching sessions, you can let go of the past for good and move on from domestic abuse.

You can write a new story for yourself AND have real hope and optimism for the future – here is a link to my contact page where you can book in a call to discuss how I may be able to help.